Her.

6

After Reya and her mom Robin talked for a while, Reya went to the bathroom to freshen up her face from all the crying she did. She showed Robin around the house and also the room she was going to be staying in.

Robin decided she was gonna cook a nice home meal and Reya decided to invite her bestfriend Alana over to meet her mom for the first time.

"Mom, I'm gonna invite my bestfriend Alana, I met her when I first got here and she helped me around a lot." Reya said proud that she could call Alana her friend.

After Reya got off the phone with Alana, she turned her speaker on and bumped music lowly while watching her mom cook. She took Instagram videos of her mom for memories and videos of them dancing in the kitchen together.

Reya stepped to the bathroom to put her hair in a slick back ponytail showcasing the big purple buffer fly tattoo she had on the side of her neck. She felt like she needed to freshen up so she went for a quick shower while her mom finished cooking.

....

Alana sent a text to Reya letting her know she was outside so Reya. "Hey boo." Alana said kissing Reya on the cheek.

As they walked into the house, Alana's nose filled with the smell of good food, she clapped her hands and did a little dance. "Ouu yay food!"

Reya laughed and shook her head, one thing Alana liked doing was eating for sure.

"Mom, I want you to meet my bestfriend Alana, Alana this is my mom Robin remember I told you she took me in when I was 12." Reya said confidently.

"Hi miss Robin, your daughter is the ultimate best, she's really a sister to me." Alana said patting her heart.

"Aweee that was so nice." Reya said laughing

"Nice to meet you Alana, I've heard great things about you." Robin said taking a minute to look at Alana and how well she presented herself.

...

As they sat in the dining room talking and singing to music, Alana smiled and looked at Robin.

"Ms. Robin, I've been meaning to tell you.. little mis thang over here has a guy that likes her..but she's too cool to give him a chance." Alana said being dramatic laughing

"Ohhhh mija you didn't tell me about a boyyy.." Robin said smiling

Reya rolled her eyes and looked at Alana after she texted Alana the fuck you emoji.

"Oh stop it's nothing serious, he just comes to my job all the time and asks to take me out but I say no. Mama it's fine." Reya said trying to brush it off like it was nothing but she knew Robin was gonna wanna talk about it.

"Well if he's putting in effort to show up to where you work and constantly asking you then it is a big deal Reya, he might really like you and you'll never know until you find out."

Reya sighed, "but mom, I don't want to date a guy. I don't wanna be in a relationship, I already expressed that I don't believe in them and they always fail in the end. The girl always ends up heartbroken and mom.." she said stopping because Robin already knew that she had trust issues.

"Give it a chance at least, you don't have to date the guy. Hell, don't go in with the intention that you're gonna get fucked over because then it'll really happen. Have an open mind girl, let loose experience love. Learn how to be in a relationship you might actually like it, you never know until you try don't sell yourself short with false hope when you haven't even given it a chance. You can't speak on someone intentions when you don't know the guy. Boss up and give it a shot I say." Robin said while making her a second plate.

She had cooked rice and beans with oxtails and empanadas and man was it delicious. She made sure to cook enough for Alana to take home and for Reya to keep in her fridge to eat throughout the week. They sat and talked about a lot just to catch up. Reya was happy and she wished her mom could stay with her but she knew it wouldn't be fair to ask Robin to move just for her.  She hated how far apart they were but she definitely knew she couldn't go back anywhere near Chicago.

It started getting dark and Alana decided she was gonna head home, she thanked Robin for the food and told Reya she would see her later.

"You know I really think you should give this mystery man a chance Reya. You're so worth it and any guy that's meets you will know how precious you are. You may have some flaws, like everyone else in the damn world but you're perfect in my eyes and if a man really wants to love you, he'll show you Reya." Reya rubbed her face letting her hair loose because it was giving her a headache.

"Ughhh I just don't want to experience that mom. I don't know how to love anyone let alone my self. I mean I love you but I don't think I can put effort into something where I might get hurt in the end. Then I'm gonna look stupid and beat myself up because I should've listened to myself in the first place"

"See there, you just said I don't know how to.. how will you ever learn until you try? You don't know yourself in a relationship, you know yourself without. So this is the single you talking right now and I get it, but Sha'Reya, everyone deserved to love and be loved. Communication is key, let your partner know your intentions. Just seek him out, if he shows red flags then you back away but at least try mami. Try. Getting a heartbreak is apart of life, it's what makes us stronger. Heartbreak teaches us what to and not to do, what you want in partner and what you don't want. I always said your best relationship comes after a few terrible ones because those trials was just a learning experience, yea your heart got sacrificed in the end, but guess what it knows what it wants now. You see what I'm saying? I'm not encouraging you to go get your heart broken I'm saying it's a possibility it'll happen and that's normal so you don't have to beat yourself up for it, just think okay it happened so what did I learn from this and what can I do better next time."

Reya took into every word Robin was saying, a part of her was actually wanting to say yes to the guy but the other part was saying to stick to her feelings. "Yea I get it mom I'll think about it." She said as they both walked to their rooms.

"Don't go into something with ill intention, don't set yourself for failure thinking that the person you're with is gonna break your heart because that's how the relationship will fail. You'll know your ready to try when you start having curiosity." Robin said winking before heading to the bedroom.

"I love you, goodnight." Reya said closing her door. She decided to take off work tonight just to spend the night with her mom on her first night but she definitely would get back to work maybe tomorrow or the next day.

She thought about it all night if she was ready to say yes to the guy or not, she didn't really know what to do. Her mom was right through, if she didn't try how would she ever know. She wanted to be able to love and get the life she once thought she could have, a husband, kids but those thoughts been disappeared after the night she was raped by a much older man who saw her as nothing but an object and she didn't want to feel like that again. Ever.

It was frustrating that she was this way but she couldn't help it. Maybe she was built to be alone in this house, maybe she was meant to dance on the pole forever and collect money from other people, maybe she wasn't meant to have love in her life or have her real mother care for her. She often wondered why she was even placed on this earth, to only get hurt? She thought but why. Why would she want to live to hurt. She shook the thoughts out her head by putting in her AirPods and listening to music while creating new dances moves since the only thing that kept her mind completely blank of negativity was dancing.

Little bit of a short chapter, they'll get longer I promise .

This was a little bit of a lecture chapter lol her mom really did some preaching and I even took the advice for myself. Y'all should do the same. 💗