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Oliver

Today is the day.

Today is the day that I finally tell him about the other eggs. That these two babies aren't his only chance at being a dad.

I have to.

He deserves to know. I know that I will want more children in the future. That's why I chose to have multiple eggs fertilized. I wanted all my kids to have the same donar.

I had already planned to get pregnant again once my first child, well in this case children turn 2 years old.

I can't get pregnant again 2 years down the like and just say "hey by the way this baby is yours too congrats dad"

It would crush him to know that I kept that secret from him.

Legally do I have to tell him, nope. That's because even though his sample was given to me due to a clerical error, legally he does not have any rights to my frozen eggs. Those babies are mine and mine alone.

But morally, it's the right thing to do.

It's not like he's a dead beat father either. Since he found out about my pregnancy he has been all in. He gets me food when I'm having a craving, he takes me to all my appointments, he calls me to make sure I'm okay and he stays over when I'm feeling extra emotional.

Plus, there's something between us. We've grown closer in the last month. I feel the chemistry. I know in my heart that we are developing romantic feelings for each other.

If I want this relationship to last I need to be 100% honest.

I guess another reason why I want to let him know is because he broke down crying yesterday.

Last night Theo was over my apartment. I was having back pain and started to have this excruciating pain. It hurt much. I ended up going to the bathroom and there was blood in my urine.

I screamed for Theo. When he saw the blood in the toilet his face paled.

We rushed to the nearest emergency room because it's way too soon for these babies to arrive. At 18 weeks gestation if I were to give birth there will be zero change of them surviving.

I cried and cried thinking that I was going to lose my babies. Theo remained strong but I would tell that he was just as broken.

I was given medication for the pain and I got an ultrasound done. The babies were still to small to find out the gender but the OBGYN on call discovered that I had a kidney stones and that the blood in my urine was most likely due to passing one.

We also got to see the babies. The OBGYN said that Baby A was measuring smaller than he or she should have been.

The OB assured me that it's common for one twin, even if they were identical to be smaller in size. After i painfully passed another kidney stone, and after having a full 24 hours of being monitored, I was discharged.

When we got back to the apartment Theo just sat one the sofa and cried. I've never seen a man break down like that before.

Yes I was scared but in the hospital I got to cry. I got to voice my concerns and fears all while he remained strong and did his best to comfort me.

He was terrified. He was scared of losing his only chance of having Biological children. He was afraid that if I had lost the babies that I wouldn't want to be with him anymore because he couldn't give me children. He was scared that a pregnancy loss would cause me to be depressed.

I wanted to speak but in that moment I took a step back and let him vent. I let him get our all his emotions and fears. He eventually passed out on the sofa and I covered him with a blanket.

The fact that one of his fears was me leaving him nearly broke my heart. It meant that even if it was just us, he wanted to be with me but he was afraid that I would want more.

I'm that moment I knew that what every we were feeling wasn't just because I was pregnant with his children.

There was something more.

I have had my fair share of break ups. I've had boyfriends that broke up with me and I didn't even bat an eye or wanted to fight to have them back. I've had boyfriends that left me crying for weeks because I was left wondering why I wasn't enough.

But this, this thing between Theo and I is on a whole other level. I could see a future with this man. I can imagine us taking weekend trips with the kids, having wonderful family holidays and having more babies with this man.

My family loves him. He's amazingly sweet towards Isaiah, Savi and Josie. It makes me wonder just how perfect of a dad he'll be to the twins.

When I went back into the living to see if Theo was awake, I saw him in the kitchen. He was making breakfast. The smell of coffee traveled through the kitchen. It was decaf because the hard stuff gave me gas but at least I could enjoy he feeling of coffee without the effects the caffeine has on my body.

He looked so handsome in the kitchen.

He looked over to me and smile

"We need to talk" I whispered

That perfect smile of his fell and so did the plate of food in his hand

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