Chapter three; page twenty

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All that ringing for a short, but anticipated text.

    'Hey, what do you think about ₩50,000 for a night with me?'

    Gray stared at the message on his phone for a second, and contemplated.

Unlike earlier, he was feeling pretty pessimistic about tending to a client right after his last one who was quite,, aggressive per say.

Even if 50,000 was a tempting number, Gray still had to take the state of his body into consideration- not for health reasons, but for quality. No client that spends the night with him wants a used doll; or atleast a doll that looks used, he knows this from experience. Even in his state of desperation, he'd rather return home with bruises from the usual intercourse, and not bruises from a bad night with a possibly violent customer. 

He's more cautious than ever now. Ever since that day, his clients seemed to become more violent. Perhaps sadism was the trend within the groups of rich twenty-somethings he tended to, or  maybe he was just being paranoid.

So in a quick decision to decline the new offer, Gray turned his phone off and tossed it onto his mattress. Dragging himself over to the bathroom to inspect the damage done he took off his loose shirt, feeling the thin fabric slide off of his arms with ease. Looking up at the grimy bathroom mirror, he flinched.

Staring back at him were his own tired eyes and his thin body that looked like it's been tossed around in dirt- which was, honestly not too far from what had actually happened.

Truly a depressing sight, he absolutely hated it.

Dead paper-white skin, almost sickly. He huffed, he could probably blend right into the pale snow outside his door if he took off his jacket; with the exception of the purple hickeys littering his neck. He wouldn't be surprised if there were some on his back too- but at least they weren't too big.

Gray's eyes immediately trailed down his reflection to his neck, like he was expecting to see the two familiar hand prints wrapped around it. But all he saw were small bite marks marring his otherwise blank skin, and he felt relief flood his senses. 

It wasn't as bad as it was last time. 

The mirror in front of him reflected the kind of image that one would pity. He didn't want to see himself like this,, tired, bruised. And yet, once in front of the mirror he couldn't stop looking.

The more he examined and picked at his own skin; the more he loathed it. And he started to feel it bubble up again- that shame. But taking a deep breath, Gray forced himself to peel his attention away from his reflection to bend down and pick his shirt off of the bathroom floor. He could still feel it festering in his throat, a sour taste spreading in his mouth. 

As he moved to retrieve his shirt, a flash of white passed his peripheral vision and he made an abrupt stop.

Gray's eyes became wide and unfocused, and he found that he was subconsciously holding his breath. 

It wasn't much- one of the unopened letters from his dad that he trashed earlier, it was peeking out of his small bathroom trashcan just close enough to catch his attention.

But for Gray, it was shattering. He felt like that precious little porcelain part of his heart had finally cracked under pressure. It was enough for him to pick up his stuff and exit the bathroom to find his phone.

He had to do it.

He needed it.

Typing in his password, he was brought back to where he left off.

    'Hey, what do you think about ₩50,000 for a night with me?'

    Staring at the screen, his eyes still void of emotion, Gray's fingers scrambled to type a reply.

    '12:30am, xxx nightclub in Itaewon, I'll be there'

Sent.

He got a response almost immediately.

'Nice, All drinks are on me.'

It took a moment of stillness for him to finally snap out of his state. But afterwards, Gray just exhaled in relief and fell right back onto his bed. Fully registering what he had just done, he clenched his phone. 

"It's fine, I need the money. I'm doing it for the money." Gray recited out loud, staring at the ceiling with glassy eyes. 

"- for the money."

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