My Demons - Jemily

chapter six: mickey mouse

Emily closed her eyes and sighed. "Molly, what happened?"

"I...I dunno," Molly said, "I was just...I didn't have a nightmare, I was just...Emily..." she sobbed. Emily sat on Molly's bed and hugged the little girl, making it so they were both facing off the side of the bed.

"Molly, honey, can you tell me about it? So I can help you? Tell me what you're thinking that's upsetting you, honey." Molly laid back on the bed, perpendicular to the normal way she laid, and pulled Emily's hand so she'd join her.

"Good. Now we're here," said Molly. She was trying to make herself laugh.

"Honey, it's okay if you're having scary thoughts. All I ask is that you tell me about them so we can work through it together. Nobody is gonna hurt you anymore, sweetheart. You can tell me anything. Now let's just talk, okay? Tell me what's happening in that smart little brain of yours."

Molly smiled at the flattery, the tear tracks still glistening on her face. "Nobody can hurt me?" she whispered. Emily shook her head.

"No. Not as long as I'm here. You're safe with me, Mols. And don't feel rushed to tell me anything. I'll still be here when you're ready to talk, honey."

Molly shuffled so she was right next to Emily. Emily held her little sister close. Molly knew in that moment that Emily was safe. She trusted Emily.

"I don't know how to explain it, Emily...promise you won't think I'm weird?" Emily was heartbroken that her poor baby sounded so scared.

"I promise, sweetheart, of course not. And nobody else has to know. This stays between us if that's what you want, I promise you. Not even JJ has to know." Molly nodded and gulped.

"Mm-hmm. I, um...I got really scared." Molly began to cry again. "And I started breathing really fast, and I couldn't stop thinking about what he used to do to me..." she cried. "Dad," she specified. How the child had the clearheadedness to clarify, Emily didn't know. "I can't stop thinking about it no matter how hard I try, and I get really, really scared, and I get shaky and I can't breathe, and I don't know what to do, Emily..."

Emily nodded and helped her sister sit up. She pulled Molly in for another hard hug, and Molly kept crying.

"Mol, sweetheart...you're probably having flashbacks, or panic attacks. They suck, huh?" Molly nodded. "Yeah. I know they do. Whenever you feel like that, or if you feel bad at all, I will always help you. Always, always, always, and especially if it's about Mom or Dad. I will always be here for you, Molly-bird." Molly smiled. She hadn't been called Molly-bird since she was maybe eight. "I love you, honey. You think you can get to sleep?"

Molly froze. "Um..."

"Do you want me to stay with you or go?" Molly just cried. "I'll stay, honey. I'll stay until you tell me to go,"

"Am I going crazy?" she asked softly. Emily rolled over to directly face Molly.

"No, sweetheart. I've seen this in a lot of people in my line of work. When there are really bad things that happen to people...you're not crazy. You're traumatized. It might feel like you're going crazy, but you are not, okay?"

Molly nodded a little. "Okay," she mouthed, unable to make a sound.

"And some things that can change the trauma response or make it worse are when the traumatic things happen over a long period of time, like it did with you, or when you're very young when it happens. And you're just a kid, Mol. You're not alone, sweetheart. You deserve to be loved, honey. I love you so much."

Emily talked to Molly until the girl fell asleep, still lying perpendicular on the bed. Emily got up and left Molly to sleep alone. She noticed JJ sitting on the couch, when she should've been in bed. "Jayje,"

"Hey," she said, standing up and turning around. She put on that defensive smile, which Emily saw through the darkness. "Hey, Em,"

"JJ, what are you doing?"

"You said you were just gonna use the bathroom, I wanted to make sure you were okay,"

"Yeah, baby, I'm fine. I was just checking on the kids. Henry was fine, Molly was getting over a flashback, so I helped her calm down. That's all, baby. I'm fine."

"Okay. Good. Now come to bed, okay?" JJ put her arm around Emily's shoulders and the two of them walked back to their room.

-

Sunday. Both Molly and Emily slept well, thank god, but Emily got a call at 8:04 before Molly was up. (She was letting Molly sleep in, as the little kid deserved it.) She was informed of the scheduling of the adjudicatory hearing. She had recently become acquainted with the Maryland family court system.

The adjudicatory hearing was going to determine if the alleged offenses against Elizabeth and Brian had any substance to them. It was the following Monday, a week from tomorrow, at 9AM.

JJ came up behind Emily and started to rub her back. "Hey, baby, how did you sleep? Better tonight?"

"Yeah. Uh, I need to talk to you. Nothing— nothing bad, we're fine, baby, but I need to tell you before Molly wakes up." Henry came bounding out and hugged his mom.

"Hello, my sweet boy! Good morning, bud!"

"Morning, Mommy!" JJ picked him up and kissed his little cheek. Emily smiled and lightly tickled him.

"Good morning, Henry," said Emily.

"Hi, Emmy," he giggled. Emily smiled and kissed his blond little head. He looked so much like his mom.

"Henry, bud, do you want pancakes for breakfast? How about Mommy and I make you some pancakes?" He nodded with a giant smile and JJ put him down.

"Let's watch Mickey, huh?" JJ put on Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and went to help Emily make breakfast. "Dove," she said quietly. Emily turned and JJ kissed her before smiling. "What is it you needed to talk to me about?"

Once she started talking, JJ saw her getting distracted so she took over the cooking. Emily explained everything to her.