Chapter 1

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"Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside
us while we live."
~ Norman Cousins

......

Summer White

......

To every one thing, there is an exact opposite. There's hot and then there's cold. There's up and there's down. There's good and then there's bad. There's black and then there's white, but some people argue that there can be a blend of both, a grey area.

Is that true? Is there a grey area or is it just a place people like to be when they can't make a decision? I've never liked in-between stages. I like things well-defined: hot or cold, up or down, good or bad, black or white. When I choose, it's clear what I've picked. I mean, it's all up in the air during the process because I like being unpredictable, but in the end, it'll always be clear what I picked.

......

I hold the phone to my ear and I anxiously wait as it rings for Alice to pick up the phone. It's nearly midnight and she still isn't home. She's usually home by eleven-thirty even when she stays an extra few minutes to help clean up. I wouldn't even be worried if she had replied to my messages like she always does, but since she hasn't, I can't help but worry. This isn't like her not answering her phone or her messages especially if it's me.

"Come on, Alice," I word anxiously as I tap my foot against the ground. When it goes to voicemail for the twelfth time, I let out a frustrated groan staring at the screen. "Fuck it," I huff grabbing my jacket on the way out and heading in the direction of her workplace.

Alice is my step-sister and we live together in a small apartment located in Englewood, Chicago which is one of the most dangerous cities in the state right now. We've been living here for years and we haven't run into any problems, mostly because we keep our heads down and mind our own business.

The restaurant Alice works at, as a server, is located in the middle of the city where many of the gangbangers hang around so I'm always worried that she's going to get caught up in some stupid shit if she ever takes the wrong route there or back home.

I always tell her to take the car, but she refuses since it's only a twenty-minute walk away. The walk is even shorter when she decides to take an alleyway that I tell her never to take because it's where most of the drug deals happen, but she doesn't listen to me and she takes that route sometimes anyway. She thinks I can't tell when she does, but I can. I understand I'm not her mother so I don't say anything, but if something ever happens, she is gonna hear a very loud and clear "I told you so" from me. From the feeling I have right now, I feel like that day has come.

The fall air of Chicago feels sharp and I breathe heavily as I walk through the dimly lit streets. My leather jacket keeps some of the cold air out, but some seeps through the open sleeves letting goosebumps rise all over my body. Clouds of smoke release from my mouth. I increase my pace with each step to reach Alice as soon as possible. I stuff my hands in my jacket's pocket and keep my head low avoiding the few people and cars that pass by.

I sniff as the cold air makes me congested, but remind myself that the temporary discomfort will be worth it once I know Alice is okay. It's kind of windy so I'm glad my long blonde hair is tied back tightly in a low ponytail with only a few loose strands framing my face.

"Look, just let me go. I won't tell anyone," I hear Alice speak just as I approach the alleyway.

Fucking Alice White, what have you gotten yourself into? I think to myself as I fasten my pace and enter the alley getting a clear picture of what exactly is going on. I spot three large figures blocking my view of Alice as they tower over her with their backs facing toward me.

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