as long as i'm here / / billie eilish

chapter 24 - pure love

"Claudia i'm scared" i mumbled holding back tears that were about to fall down my face. she sat down on the couch next to me and held my hand.

"it's gonna be okay Skylar, she's gonna come here and y'all are gonna just talk it out. you'll be fine".

her voice was soft and calming but she still failed to comfort me. my anxiety was taking the best of me and i couldn't think clearly. i had already accepted the fact that i'd have to face a furious Billie who would probably leave me because of the shit i did.

the sound of a car engine made me snap out of my thoughts.

"fuck, she's here" i said and my breathing became erratic.

"take deeps breaths, it's gonna be okay i promise. i going to open the door, stay here".

Claudia got up and walked towards the door. with every step she took my heart would beat faster. my whole body was shaking uncontrollably and my head was spinning from all this overthinking. i didn't even dare to look at the door when i heard Claudia opening it.

"hey guys, how ar-" Claudia started but got interrupted by a familiar voice. a voice i knew too damn well.

Billie ran through the door, passing Claudia like she wasn't even there and came to my direction, screaming my name. i was scared she was going to start yelling at me about the horrible things i did but instead she did something unexpected.

she pulled me in for a hug, the tightest one i had ever received, the most genuine one. her arms were wrapped around my torso and i melted into her touch, feeling her warmth which i hadn't realised i had missed this much. her embrace felt more relaxing and safer than ever.

"don't you ever do this again, okay?" she whispered, still not letting me go.

i tried to answer and say something but the only thing that came out of my mouth was a loud harsh sob followed by a waterfall of tears. she finally pulled away and cupped my cheeks with her hands while i rested my own on her thighs. both of us were crying with red faces and puffy eyes.

"i'm so sorry" i mumbled, looking directly into her eyes. i tried my hardest not to break down again at that moment.

"i should be the one apologising" she said without breaking eye contact.

"no, you-" i began but she cut me off by kissing my nose.

"i'm just glad you're safe, this is all that matters" she confessed and the cutest smile was formed on her lips.

"uh well sorry to interrupt your moment girls" Finneas spoke up "but i guess Claudia and i aren't needed anymore so we better be going and let you have this conversation alone".

"yeah dude fuck off" Billie chuckled between sobs.

"yeah, you're welcome Bil" Finneas mocked her, rolling his eyes.

"okay okay, for real guys thank you for this" she admitted genuinely this time.

"anytime" Claudia said and they both walked out of the house.

"so, here we are the two of us" i said awkwardly. after Finneas's interruption both Billie and i pulled away and there was some distance in between us which i hated more than anything.

"well i guess i've got some explaining to do" i told her as i rearranged the way i was sitting on the couch to be more comfortable.

"i mean, yeah i am confused but you don't need to talk about it if you aren't ready". her gaze was stucked on the floor, not daring to even glance at me.

"no, i want to talk to you. you need to know Bil" i started. she really needed to know. "well, it all started last week after i did, you know, after the whole hospital thing".