When Worlds Collide

Chapter 25

My eyes opened slowly and painfully as I finally registered the hand gripping my shoulder and slowly shaking me awake. Rolling over, I groaned and squinted at the clock on my nightstand, the blurry numbers showing that it was sometime around six in the morning.

"Ivan, hey sweetheart," a soft voice whispered, and I struggled to lift myself onto my elbows, bringing a hand up to rub my eye.

"Mrs. Clarissa?" I winced at the bright hallway light streaming into my room through the ajar door.

Her gaunt face came into my vision, wiry grey hair loosely pulled back with a hair clip. She was gripping my bed frame to steady herself as she sat down, patting my leg.

"I need you to take care of breakfast today, I'm so sorry honey. I'm just not feeling well and it's got me unsteady on my feet."

I licked my lips, nodding numbly. Me getting put in charge of breakfast and the kids has slowly been becoming a more common occurrence. I was worried sick about Mrs. Clarissa, although she always tried to play it off like it was just a cold.

"Yeah," I agreed disdainfully, furrowing my eyebrows and throwing the covers off.

"Thank you, honey. It means a lot to me," she said, standing up and turning to walk out the door. She looked so feeble, her thin body seemed to struggle supporting her weight as she shuffled towards my door.

"Is- is everything alright?" I asked in concern, staring at her back as she walked. She stopped, turning slightly to look back at me, putting on that same reassuring smile she always did. Now it just made me feel a little sick.

"Don't worry about me, sweetheart. You never have to worry about me."

I continued to watch her as she slipped through the door, closing it with a soft click. Throwing myself down on the side of the bed, I rubbed my hand over my face and took a deep breath. Truthfully, I felt exhausted. Last night I laid awake, staring wide eyed at my wall as I listened to the voices and watched the shadows of small furry animals scurrying across my floor. All my mind does at night is race, thinking about losing Ethan, losing Mrs. Clarissa, losing any future I could have had if I wasn't so stupid, losing everything that I had just barely gained.

I couldn't break. I can't afford to break. I wouldn't break.

Shooting to my feet, I surged out of my room, looking down the hallway to Mrs. Clarissa's closed door. She must think I'm too stupid to understand whatever the hell was going on, but obviously not stupid enough to not be put in charge every morning. As soon as I got into the bathroom, I stripped my clothes and quickly jumped into the shower, scrubbing myself down as fast as I could.

After getting out, I wrapped a towel around my waist and just stood in front of the mirror. It had fogged up pretty badly from my steamy shower, so I put my forearm up to the glass and wiped some of the condensation away. The boy staring back at me looked drained. I gingerly brushed my fingers across the dark circles under my puffy, red rimmed eyes. My sleep schedule was rapidly slipping away from me, my hours spent awake grew longer as my hours asleep grew shorter. It started at midnight, then one, then two, getting increasingly later until last night, where I didn't finally get to sleep until three in the morning- only to be woken up three hours later. I stared at myself numbly before hurrying back to my room to get dressed.

I rummaged through my drawers for any pair of clean boxers, and elected to go for the discarded jeans laying on my floor with a haphazardly thrown on grey t-shirt. It was still warm enough outside to get away with.

Thundering down the stairs, I flicked on the lights, which was a bit pointless with the sunlight flooding in through the windows. I squatted down to rummage through the cabinets underneath the stove for a pan, already deciding that today was an eggs and toast day. I didn't have the energy to deal with anything else.