When Worlds Collide

Chapter 26

I felt like a bucket of ice water had just been dumped on my head. I stared at her with my jaw slack, shaking my head quickly.

"They- they can help y-you, right? Aren't you going to go through treatment? You c-can get better, can't you?" I choked, my breath rapid.

"No, sweetheart. It's in my brain, and. . . it's not likely they can cure it. Radiation and chemotherapy will only slow it down and buy me some time. I'm not interested in doing any aggressive treatments either," she looked at me sadly, reaching out to touch me, only I had ripped myself out of my chair to pace around the kitchen.

"Why not? Why are you doing this mom!" I screamed, grabbing the front of my hair. I was so worried about myself, and they got to my mom instead. Then they'll come after me, and they'll come after Benji, and Mary, and Ethan-

"Ivan, Ivan, I know you're upset honey but you've got to calm down. Come sit," she stood on wobbly feet, but decided to stick by the table where she had something to lean on for support. I looked at her, really looked at her, and it was now so painfully obvious that she was slowly dying. It wasn't fair.

"I don't want to sit! I don't understand!" I yelled.

"Sweetie, my prognosis wasn't good from the start. Even with frequent treatments, it isn't guaranteed to get rid of it for good, and all it would do is drain my money. I want to make sure you kids have something to inherit. I've put you in my will," she breathed, quickly wiping the tears streaming down her cheeks.

She's leaving you.

They've always wanted to leave you.

You're so stupid.

I'm coming to get you.

"What's going to happen to us? Mary, Benji, me? You're leaving us all behind!" I sobbed, and that goddamn cat was stalking across the counter again.

"A close friend of mine and colleague of Tom agreed to take them in. I know how much you've been worrying about affording that apartment with Ethan, and the money I have now will be enough for that. For college," she gave me a watery smile.

"Oh God, oh God, oh God," I muttered, furiously rubbing my hands over my face. Never in my life, have I felt so helpless. I was drowning, gasping for air, and it all happened so fast. He'll be here any moment now, and then I'll be truly fucked. There's no escaping if he catches me.

"I know this is a lot, and it's okay to feel this way."

Dropping my hands to my sides, my shoulders rolled forward as everything in my head seemed to shut down. I couldn't do anything but stand in the middle of the kitchen and listen to the voices talking loudly in my ear- I could hardly think straight.

"It's going to be alright," she sniffed, moving forward to rest a shaky arm on my shoulder. "Promise me something. Ivan, look at me," she demanded, trying to meet my lowered gaze. I slowly drew my eyes up to meet her dull brown ones, her thin eyebrows furrowed, tears still flowing freely down her cheeks.

"I- I need to be alone," I sniffed, rubbing roughly at my eye.

Mrs. Clarissa nodded. "If you need to talk more about this, please find me. I don't want you dealing with this alone."

"Okay," I whispered, turning around and heading up the stairs. How could so much fall apart in such a short amount of time?

When I reached my bedroom, I entered quickly and slammed the door behind me, sliding down until I could bury my face in my knees as sobs ripped through me. I could already feel the headache coming on as I gripped my hair and tried to muffle my screams in my sleeve. I just wanted to sleep, to not be conscious and feel this agonizing pain anymore.