Pogue on Pogue- JJ Maybank

Chapter 41

    He puts the cigarette in my left thigh, and I feel it burning my skin. I feel it everywhere, the heat travels through my body.

    I scream out in pain, only for him to laugh, sinisterly.

    He pulls the cigarette away after a few seconds and I start sobbing.

    " Shut up!" He screams, spit hitting my face.

   I can't see through my tears, but I hear the lighter and soon I can smell the cigarette smoke.

    " Please, stop!" I plead, but it goes unnoticed.

He puts the cigarette out on my right arm, and I feel the heat travel up my arm.

    I let out an ear piercing scream, and struggle, but with his other hand, my father slaps me across the face.

    " Shut the Fuck up!" He yells, while pulling the cigarette away.

   I don't say anything, I can't. I'm sobbing so hard that it's becoming hard to breathe.

    He relights the cigarette and puts it out on my skin, this time on my right thigh.

" Makena! Wake up!"

     I jolt up, sweaty and crying.

" Makena, you're okay. It was just a nightmare." JJ says, breaking me out of my head.

     " I'm sorry. Go back to sleep." I say, feeling bad that I woke him up in the middle of the night.

" It's fine." JJ says.

      I feel tears running down my face, and I wipe them away. I was dreaming about what happened.

" What happened?" I ask JJ, wanting to know how I woke him up.

      " You were thrashing around, screaming and crying. You just kept yelling ' Stop!' over and over again." JJ explains.

      " Well, that's embarrassing." I say, chuckling even though nothing is funny.

" It's not. It's okay. You went through something, no one expects you to be okay immediately." JJ says, comforting me. JJ lays back down and drags me down with him. He wraps his arm around my shoulder and I nestle my head in his chest.

      " Thank you." I mumble into his chest.

" For what?" JJ asks, looking down at me.

      " For always being there for me." I answer.

" It's no problem, you do the same for me." JJ explains, kissing the top of my head.

We sit in silence for a minute, JJ's hand lazily moving up and down my arm.

       " Do you want to talk about it?" JJ asks me.

" There isn't much to talk about. Just reliving what my dad did to me." I explain, no emotion in my voice.

       JJ stays quiet for a moment, obviously not knowing how to respond to that, hell even I wouldn't know how to respond to it if I was him. I look over to the alarm clock to see that it's only 2:30 Am.

      " Well, If you ever want to talk about it, I'm here." JJ says, wrapping his arm around me tighter.

" Okay, thanks." I respond, closing my eyes and listening to his heart beat, it always seems to calm me down, ever since 3rd grade when we met.

      " Goodnight, I love you." JJ says, kissing the top of my head lightly.

" Goodnight, I love you more." I mumble into him, gently kissing his chest.

     I will myself to fall asleep but I just can't. I think of anything and everything. I think about the fort that my mom and I built before she passed and I wonder if it's still out there in the woods, or if some random kids came and claimed it as their own. I think about my car, and how I need to change the oil and get new brakes. I think about how JJ is the only living person besides me who knows about the fort. I think about how Sarah just stepped over me the day John B and I were running from the social worker, I think about what the boy's plan is to get Sarah and Kiara together. Lastly, I think about what happened only 2 days ago, even though it seems like a lifetime ago.

    My dad wasn't always like that. At one point he was sweet and caring. He taught me how to fish, how to surf, how to shoot, how to fix my own car, and even how to tie my shoes. It all feels like a million years ago, even though it was only 7 years ago. 7 years ago, I still had a father, and a mother. Now I have someone who looks just like my dad, but doesn't act like him. I still love him, and I hate that some part of me loves him. I hate how every time I see a father and daughter out together laughing, I think about how I used to have that, but how I'll never have it again. I notice that tears are running down my face, so I wipe them while I silently cry into my beautiful, impulsive, boyfriend's chest.