fuckboy

word vomit

the next day was saturday.

it was raining and thunder was echoing through the castle.

rainy days at hogwarts were the best.

i went to the library to study, but i knew that my mind would be hung up on other things.

after like ten minutes, theo's friend from the other night came over.

"you're bella, right?" he asked, slightly slurring his words, still hungover from the night before.

"yeah, dexter?"

"that's me" he sat down heavily at the table i was on and took a bottle of water out his bag.

"did you have fun last night?" he asked after a pause of silence.

"yeah, i did, did you?" i could tell he had based off of the smell in his breath and his unchanged outfit.

"yeah," he replied, "you were in theo's room last night weren't you?"

"how do you know?" i asked, although i wouldn't be surprised if mattheo had already told all of his friends and anyone else who would listen.

"maya told me."

"oh. theo didn't say anything to you then?"

"he mentioned something about a girl, i don't remember much though."

"oh, cool."

"did you want him to talk about you?"

"no, we'll yes, but it's a long story and you're probably not that interested anyway," i started to ramble

"i haven't got anything better to do, tell me diggory, why do you care about him talking about you?"

then i gave him the whole story of how i knew i would love him from the first time i saw him, and how every year valerie told me things would be different and then they never were.

i forgot who i was talking to, i forgot that him and mattheo were friends.

i never know when to stop talking, i say one thing and then just blurt out everything that comes to mind - like constant word vomit.

"you're telling me you've loved him or five years and didn't even tell him?" he asked after having shut his eyes for two minutes, either to process what had been said or because he fell asleep.

"yep."

"damn, that's commitment. i'll put in a good word for you."

as soon as dexter had finished talking, theo walked in, but he wasn't alone.

maya was clinging to his arm.

and he wasn't even telling her to let go, he was showing her off like a trophy.

"yo theo, i thought you said you were done with maya?"

"i never said that dexter."

he didn't even look at me.

they were headed straight to the back shelves of the library.

i knew what that meant.

"i'll see you later dexter."

i packed up my things and left, sad, angry and confused.

                                     ———

i got back to the dorm and val was sat at her desk putting on makeup.

i closed the door behind me and she looked at me through her mirror.

"what happened bella."

i told her everything.

"you don't need him, he's such a dickhead."

she was right, i didn't need him, but i wanted him.

i wanted him so much.

she sat with me for a while before returning to her table.

"Bella I hate to do this but I promised Blaise I'd see him. You don't mind do you?"

I shook my head and she practically ran out the door.

i felt gross.

i stayed in my bed for a while, before getting up to shower.

i closed the bathroom door and took my clothes off and turned the hot water on.

i just stood under the shower head for like five minutes.

i didn't know what to do.

just as i was about to open my shampoo, i heard the dorm room door open.

i knew it wasn't valerie, so naturally, my first thought was that someone had broken in and was planning on murdering me mid shower.

then the bathroom door opened, and in walked theo.

"i came at the right time then," he said, looking me up and down through the glass door.

i turned the water off, "what do you want"

"to keep looking at you," he smiled back.

i opened the door and grabbed a towel, "shut up."

i got out and wrapped myself in the towel, before turning and facing him, "why are you here?"

"i came to talk."