~Chapter 9~

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Karl's POV
Monday and Tuesday were normal nothing special get up,get dressed, go to school, classes, cheer practice, then home. It was Wednesday now "Hey karl" niki said snapping me back to reality.

we were sitting at the lunch table waiting for Wilbur and the others "yes niki?" "Did you know we're off Friday?" "no I didn't why?" I ask "i don't know but who cares were off" I smile

"anyways since were off you wanna go to the beach with me on Friday?" She asks "of course" I say then Wilbur sits next to niki "hey guys what's going on?"

"Hi Wilbur were going to the beach Friday wanna come" he smiles "yes" "I wanna go" says Tommy sitting next to me I jump "sorry Karl" he says I smile back "I wanna go to" says tubbo sitting next to Tommy "count me in!" Says ranboo sitting down

"what are we talking about" says sapnap sitting next to ranboo "we're going to the beach Friday wanna come with us" I ask him he smiles "definitely is it ok if I invite dream and George" "of course" niki says we eat then the bell goes off "bye guys" I say walking off "bye!"

The rest of the day was the same I went to classes and did cheer practice then went home "Karl you always fall asleep in the car wake up" says my mom "ok I'm awake" we get down and I walk up the stairs to put my stuff down. I walk back to down stairs and sit on the island.

"what are you making for dinner mom" I ask as she's pulling out things to make dinner "I'm making tocos" "sounds yummy" I say smiling "hey mom can I go to the beach with my friends Friday" she smiles "which ones" "niki and the others" I say "of course" "thanks mom ima go shower" I ran upstairs and grabbed my clothes to shower.

(TW SH MENTION) When I get out the shower I start drying myself then I stop at my thighs. I start freaking out because I had cuts on my thighs and I agreed to go to the beach which would mean they would see the cuts. I start getting dressed I then walk out and go to my room and sit on my bed (TW OVER)

*maybe I should just say I can't go!* I say to my self *no you already said yes niki will be confused and probably sad* *I know* I go and grab my comfort hoodie from the floor *oh what if I tell her that I can go but I don't have a swim suit* *plus it wouldn't be a lie I don't think I have a swim suit* *that's perfect we'll tell her that tomorrow* I say to myself.

"Karl dinners ready!" I hear mom say "ok mom I'm going!" I jog down stairs. we eat "Karl I'm going to be gone Thursday night I start working night shifts" she's a nurse by the way "oh ok how many nights are you working till your off?" I ask

"hmm maybe 3 or 4 let me check my phone" she takes out her phone a checks "4 days" "oh ok" I finish eating and throw away my plate "good night mom I love you" I say walking up stairs "night Karl I love you too" I smile I get in my room and put my phone to charge I then lay in my bed then go to sleep.

Karl's POV
My alarm goes off and I stop it I get dressed then go down stairs "good morning Karl!" Say my mom making pancakes which she makes almost every morning "morning mom" we eat then get get in the car.

I get to school. Now it's lunch I'm sitting by myself right now I'm waiting for niki *ok so just say that you can't go because you don't have swimming trunks* *maybe I can go but I don't bring a swim suit so I can just sit in the sand*

"Hey Karl" I hear niki say "oh hey Niki" she sits in front of me "hey Niki" I say in kinda like a whisper "hm?" She says putting food in her mouth "I can't go to the beach" she finishes chewing her food "what why" she asks in a disappointed voice

"well I can go but I can't get in the water or anything because I don't have swimming trunks" I answer. She smiles i raise an eyebrow at her "I'm going shopping today to find a bathing suit you should go so you could get one!" She says happily "uh ya I'll go with you"

*well great Karl your plan worked so perfectly* *maybe you should just tell her why you don't wanna go* *no Karl don't do that you don't want attention!* *ya but maybe you'll get out of it if you tell her*

*no way she'll ask questions what are you going to tell her "oh ya I hurt myself because I saw my crush making out with some random girl" you'll sound pathetic* *no he won't maybe she can help get sap to like you Karl* *ha that's dumb sapnap will never like you*

Tommy then sits next to me snapping me out of my argument with myself.

"hey Karl" Tommy says I jump and he laughs "your always so jumpy" I smile "hey" everyone then sits down as I zone out. I feel a hand touch my shoulder I jump "hey Karl are you ok?" It's sap I calm down "of course" I say smiling he smiles "ok just checking" he says

"ok so who's going in who's car" says Wilbur "me Tommy and ranboo are going with you" say tubbo "and me too!" Says niki "ok so that means dream and George are together and sapnap and Karl are together is that fine Karl" says Wilbur "of course" I say

the bell rings before we walk off niki grabs me "ok Karl your going with me to the mall right?" "Yup" I say "ok stay after practice so we can go" she says "ok" she starts to walk away "wait who driving us?" I ask "my mom" she says smiling then she walks off.

I went to my classes I couldn't focus during the rest of my classes. What was I supposed to tell niki was I supposed to tell her about what I did to myself how would I even explain it. I sigh and walk to where we do cheer practice.

      ~after cheer practice~

"Come on Karl" niki says opening the door to the car I say hi to niki's mom the car ride was quite. we got off the car "bye mom I'll text you when I'm ready for you to pick us up" "bye" her mom said.

We got in the mall we walked to a couple of stores got our bathing suits then we stop at a bench and I sit down niki sits next to me.

"hey Niki" I say I start to feel anxious *is it ok if I tell her am I making the right choice to tell her ya I am* "hm?" She says looking at me I face her "i lied when I said that I didn't have a bathing suit" I said she looked at me confused

"why?" She said "I- I don't know how to say this but I" I stop and breathe I look down *why I'm I so scared to tell her your scared your going to disappoint her aren't your scared to face the truth that your a failure aren't you Karl* "hey Karl are you there" she says I only hum in response.

"so why did you lie?" She says in a soft tone "I can't go to the beach because" I stop for a moment "because I self harm and not only on my wrist" I say in kind of a whisper I look up at her.

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Cliffhanger haha 1342 words anyways I hope you've enjoyed so far

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