No Reverse (Teen Pregnancy)

Chapter 9

I considered my thought and eventually brought myself down the stairs to speak to my dad. I found him asleep in his clothes on the living room couch. He was never usually asleep this early and was normally at the hospital surgically removing something. I sat on the end of the couch and nudged him slightly. His eyes slowly peeled open and gazed up at me. He then scratched his head, while sitting up.

"Dad, we need to talk about my ... situation" I strangely said. He just nodded and stared at me, waiting for what I had to say next "Well ... Where do I go for an abortion?" I felt the words echo around the room, but it was probably just echoing around my head. My dad paused for a minute.

"Well, you'd have to phone the clinic and book an appointment" He told me. "I know that it's the right thing to do, but it's not the best one, Lexi? Are you sure?" He questioned me.

"Positive Dad!" I told him, not reassuring my mind. I was determined to terminate this pregnancy. All my worries would just come to an end and I really wanted that! I tried to forget my emotions and just focus that everything would go back to normal.

I dialled in the number of the clinic in to my phone 0151.... Then I waited as the phone rang. "Mountain High Clinic, how may I help you?" A sweet lady asked on the other end of the line. I didn't know what to say next, as I looked at my dad. He raised his eyebrows in a 'go on' motion.

"Well, I need to book an appointment... for an abortion" It felt weird telling this unknown lady these words. I gave her all of my detail and I also told her that I had just turned 3 months pregnant.

"There is an appointment available next week on Tuesday the 19th at 3:45?" She asked, in a questioned tone.

"Yes, that would be perfect, thank you!" We then both ended the call and I was scheduled to abort my baby. "Well, that's that!" I sighed and looked at my dad.

"Come here!" He sympathetically smiled at me and pulled me in for hug. We hadn't really hugged like this since my mum had passed away. Since then he had always been distant and not huggable. I sat in his arms, emotionless. I didn't want to cry, but I wasn't happy either. I didn't want to feel my emotions in case it interfered with the process.

Eventually, I got a goodnight sleep and was fresh the next morning. Was still carrying this child around, but I was slightly OK with the fact I wouldn't be for long. I hadn't really been this sure about anything in my whole life. I thought to myself, 'I can now life a normal life!' This included going to my dream college; then university; meeting a guy I loved; marrying him and then starting a family! I clearly wasn't ready to be a 'mum'. I smiled at the thoughts of my future and was happy that I'd now been able to reach out for.

I had met Silver by my locker. I had to tell her the fact I had an appointment for an abortion and if she would go with me. I was waiting for her when I saw Oscar. He was gorgeous with his flipped hair and green eyes! Then, I had noticed that he was walking towards me! I looked around to see if he was walking towards anyone else, but suddenly, the halls were all clear.

"Hey" He muttered to me, while looking at the floor. "I'm sorry about the way I had acted when I found out that it was you that night!" I raised my eyebrows. "I'm sorry and I'm glad it was you instead of a random girl..." He trailed of as he walked backwards and turned the corner. I sighed and felt so guilty that I hadn't told him about the baby.

'Baby' again! How much I hated calling it that! I had then thought to myself while waiting for Silver, 'hmmm... I'm calling it Peanut!' I had figured if I didn't call it baby, then I wouldn't be reminded of the Peanut as a baby. Peanut it is!

"Hey you!" Silver walked to me and then hugged me, tightly. "How the baby doing?" She whispered to me, even though there wasn't any one around.

"Hey!" I smiled slightly. "Well, about the Peanut..." I started off, but she then cut me off.

"Wait, the Peanut?" She looked so bewildered, while laughing.

"Yeah, I don't want to think about it as a baby, so I'm calling the Peanut a Peanut" I told her, truthfully. She just laughed and then paused.

"Hang on, why wouldn't you want to call 'the Peanut' a baby?" She questioned as I rubbed my head hard.

"Well, that's the thing I wanted to talk to you about. I'm going the clinic for an abortion..." I was interrupted by Silver screaming 'What' a billion times. "I'd like for you to come with me Silver!" She stared at me in shock. "...Silver?"

"Okay... Okay!" She rubbed her eyes a little. "It's just hard, all of this! You've always been the responsible one and it just breaks my heart to see my best friend in so much pan and confusion!" She hugged me.

"That's the thing Silv. I don't feel anything, I just want to have an abortion..." I just, shrugged. She just nodded. Then, I noticed Alex coming up behind her and grabbing her waist gently. Silver squealed and turned around to kiss him on his cheek. "You two are perfect together!" I admitted.

"We know!" Alex smiled as he kissed Silver back, on the cheek. "So, what you ladies talking about?"

"Well... Urr... just girl stuff!" Silver had lied for me and I didn't want that.

"Silver, I'm going to head to class. You can tell him, just don't say anything to anyone Alex!" He nodded at me "Okay, see you later Silver!" I hugged her, and as I hugged her, I whispered gently "Please don't tell him it's Oscars!" She nodded and smiled a goodbye.

I was thinking about the Peanut and whether I was doing the best thing aborting it. I thought that I was, but all that time, I was thinking about myself. I hadn't even thought about the effects of others. My Dad seemed slightly heartbroken when I phoned the clinic and I hadn't noticed it. Also, I could tell that Silver was slightly not agreeing with my idea. Max and Joel were just getting on board with me having a baby and for Oscar, he didn't even know. I was being selfish, keeping things to myself. I wasn't going to cancel my appointment at the hospital, since I still wanted all of my windows open. But, I realised something, I had to tell Oscar!

The day went snail pace and I had bumped in to Oscar a few times, but couldn't get the urge to tell him. I didn't want to change his world as much as this had changed mind, but I had too! For all I knew, he could just reject me and the Peanut all together anyway!

On the way home, the car was filled with toxic silence. My brothers weren't even arguing or fighting like they usually do. I just stared out the window looking at the park we had past. The park was filled with happy families and couples with their sons and daughters. All those people had done life the right way round. Finished school and then started a family. That's what I intended to do, until this...