Chapter 16

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Being 7 months pregnant has it's struggles. One mainly being that it is extremely hard to get out of bed in the morning! As well as this, walking around in school doesn't help either! We had a meeting a few weeks back about my situation and school. We had all agreed that I'll stay in school as long as possible and leave school when I am around 8 1/2 months pregnant. This way, I only miss half a months worth of school and then I leave for good!

The past few weeks have been pretty great! Me and Oscar have been seeing a lot of each other, but I hate the way it's behind Beth's back. He has even brought our son a Moses crib to go in my room for the time being. I would actually say that he was like a best friend, but slightly less I guess. or more?

Anyway, on the day I was 7 months pregnant. I had arranged to meet Oscar at the back of our school. Meeting there was a pain because I'd have to walk all the way around and my legs couldn't take much moving around with the weight of this baby in my womb! But, I knew the real reason why. Beth. to be honest, I didn't feel too great. I felt like I was his secret, which didn't sound very non-skanky at all!

"Hey you!" He smiled at me and looked down at my stomach. " it seems like you get bigger every time I see you!" His face paused. "No ! I didn't mean it in that way! Just the baby grows!" He tried to explain himself.

"It's fine! I knew what you meant!" I said, exhausted. "Can we go and sit somewhere or something? My legs are swollen and really hurt!" I pleaded. He nodded and leaded me to his car. When I eventually sat down I was relieved!

He took me to his house and we pigged out on loads of food. We then went to his room and I sat on one of his many bean bags. "Listen," he said while taking a seat on his bed opposite the bean bag "I've been thinking, we need a name for the baby?" He asked like some sort of question. I just nodded, clueless of suggestions! "Don't get me wrong, I do have a few ideas, but I want us to both name him together!" He got hold of one of my hands.

"Okay!" I nodded " I just haven't thought about it! Well I have, but none of them are different or stand out!" I huffed "I don't want my kid to be called 'bacon' or something stupid! But, something original! You know?" We both laughed at the thought of 'bacon' and he nodded.

"I was thinking something like Sebastian?" He squinted his eyes, although I wasn't sure why he did. I shuck my head in a 'no' way. It was TOO original. People may think I'm fussy, but my child has to live with that name for the rest of there lifes!

"Actually, I have an idea!" I smiled "we will think if 3 or 4 names and when we see the little guy we will know what to call him!" Oscar agreed and we got thinking. "OK, so the second one has to be Theo or Theodore!" I noted it down on a piece of paper.

"OK, maybe the third could be Isaac?" I 'awww'ed at the sound of the name and wrote it down. Now, the last one was my decision and I had no idea what to suggest.

"Hmmm..." I took a long hard thought "I'm going to put down BLANK. This could be any random name that pops in to ours heads once we look at him!" We both agreed with my idea, since it was original.

After this, we ordered Pizza and I ate nearly 3/4 of it! Before I had gotten pregnant, I couldn't even eat a piece! But, now I'm eating for two, I think the baby likes it's pizzas. Afterwards, I sat on his bed flicking through the channels while he got me a cold glass of water. When he arrived back, I thanked him. he sat on the bed with me and watched me flick over channel after channel. "There's nothing on!" I turned round to face him. He was sipping a cold coke.

"I know! Anyway, I've been meaning to talk to you about a couple of things" Oscar said, seriously. "I have saved up quite a lot in my bank account the last couple of years and I don't know why. But, I do know that you hardly have anything for our son. No clothes, bibs, nappies and bottles! Let's go shopping?" I was so thankfully he said all this, because it was true. I was so thankful that I pounced up beaming with excitement and hugged him. By me jumping on him, he lay on his bed while I was on top of him. "thank you" I whispered, before I had kissed him.

It felt nice to have had his lips on mine again. They were like delicate cushions ready to be ripped open! But, he shrugged me off him and immediately I knew I made a mistake. I sat on the bed while he stood up facing me with his head in his hands, until he said; "the other thing I wanted to talk about Lex, was Beth!" He ran his hand through his hair rapidly. "I've been with her for ages and I couldn't imagine myself without her! I still want to be in my sons life and maybe yours too, but my heart does belong to Beth! I am so sorry if I led you on in anyway..." I stopped him, because I had burst out crying. My emotions were so fucked up! He hugged me and kept saying 'sorry' all the time!

"Led me on? I'm pregnant Oscar?!" I shrugged him of me this time. "my emotions are everywhere and I don't know when or if you are flirting and I'm just so fucking angry!" My temper increased.

"I am sorry Lexi! I didn't realise! You must be going through so much right now and I do want to help you get through this!" He did genially seem to care. I nodded and rubbed my stomach slightly.

"Are you ever even going to tell Beth about this?" I pointed to my belly. He nodded, but slowly and not looking at me. It's like he was ashamed of me and our son. I shrugged the idea of this away and eventually left.

On my journey home i thought about the life of after i give birth to this baby. What would actually happen? I didn't even know how to feed a child, never mind knowing how you bath or change ones nappy. I would love to have family, but i didn't want one yet, especially with a guy who can't tell anyone about us.

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