†𝖜𝖎𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖉 ∞ ongoing

chapter 20 ∞ a release

Nova

"What the hell was that all for?"

"I dunno, something about that apology was really great. Struck the right nerve." Willow replies, putting her feet up on the dashboard. 

"Nova, I promise you he isn't actually a bad person. I actually think he might be good for you in a couple of ways." Ayra adds, leaning forward from the backseat with Syrena, "And that's coming from previous knowledge. I've known this guy since I've dated Alex and he wouldn't have stayed friends with him if he was a terrible person."

This was true. Although Alex can be a completely immature child at times, he's always been a good person. Even better since Ayra came into his life.

"Yeah, and they've dated for years." Syrena pokes my shoulder as I drive to a stop at a red light. 

"Look, I genuinely don't know what y'all see in him but I'm not going."

"Why not?" Ayra asks, trying not to cross the line as she takes a hint on the sensitivity I have towards this subject.

The light turns green. I try to the best of my ability to stay a civilized driver as I turn the steering wheel and start listing all the reasons I've compiled, "Ayra, were you not the one who completely objected to this idea the day he came to our lunch table? Syrena, were you not the one he lashed out at because you called him a logical nickname? And Willow, were you not the one he pulled out a knife on?"

The entire car goes silent. Everyone seems to look back and forth between one another and pause to think. They better have a good rebuttal paragraph or I might just start speeding.

"The three of us, we talked yesterday night on the phone," Ayra begins to say in a gentle tone. I'm assuming they elected her as speaker since she knows how to approach me when I'm on the edge of exploding.

"And we think you should test out some waters. Because for one," She looks at me through the rearview mirror, "I just know you're gonna break down if you're left alone. That's why we've all been trying to get you up and going, you know?"

Mason. That's why. I do admit, he's been a good distraction from him. 

Willow turns her body to the left to face me, "He was the sixth guy you completely gave up everything for. Why don't you just try a different approach and find ways to refrain from getting hurt? Did Mason ever take you on a date?"

I turn quiet. Now that I think of it, no guy has ever taken me on a date.

Syrena goes on, "Reason two, we're not asking you to date him or anything. It's just that—"

"He's been saying things about you."

I nearly drive off the road when Ayra finishes Syrena's sentence.

"What do you mean," I turn to look at them all, astonished and confused, "by 'things'?"

"Alex told me that he never really ever talks about girls. Not much of anything about the ones he's hooked up which is, trust me, too many. But he's brought you up in recent conversation lately." Ayra looks so serious as she informs me of these recent upcomings. 

Why would he bring me up out of all girls? I'm sure I'm wasn't the first to insult him. I'm nothing special.

"What has he been saying?" I ask in a low tone, carefully picking out the correct words before I bombarded them with more questions. It still doesn't quite explain their reason as to why they set me up with him.

"Tyler told me yesterday that after the party's happenings," Willow fidgets in her seat, "He said something along the lines of 'she's not worth that'."

"Oh jeez, that's really reassuring—"

"No, Ty said he didn't mean it like that. At least it didn't seem like it."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

Syrena cuts in, "He was referring to you along the lines of sex. And basically, he was saying he doesn't wanna fuck you, but he still kinda does—"

"You're giving her the worst possible explanation Syrena," Ayra says and holds her back from saying more. They both laugh for a second while I impatiently pull into the parking lot of a random park.

"At this rate, y'all are piling up more reasons why I should stand him up—"

"He wasn't saying you weren't worth it in a 'she's useless and pathetic' perspective. It was more of a 'she's worth a little too much' perspective." Willow finishes and stares at me, "Do you get what I'm saying now?"

I narrow my eyebrows and squint, trying to make sense of the situation. But it still doesn't match up in my head, "I don't buy it, I'm sorry."

Ayra lets out an exasperated sigh, "That isn't her interpretation of his words Nova, that's Tyler's interpretation. Jack's best friend since childhood. I'm assuming he knows Jack well enough to understand what he means by a couple of words."

I sit there and pick at my nails. The 'perspective' talk isn't really enough confirmation. Based on certain things he's said and done, it's incredibly difficult to comprehend.

"You guys, I'm really thankful you went to such lengths to try to — I dunno, I guess to try to make me feel better, but I really—"

"He cares too much about you to just have sex and disappear."

Willow stares me down and her eyes mean more than just sincerity. It scares me to see that. Especially in her, knowing that an austere persona isn't one she tends to drift towards. I let the words soak in.

"We're not saying you should try to change him and shit. We really just think he has potential to help you come out of that dark place you're in," Syrena offers another explanation, "that dark hole you've buried yourself deeper into every time another guy comes and rips apart the heart you always wear on your sleeve. And I already know we've tried everything at this point."

"And I know you had to ask him to apologize but I think he meant it. It looked a lot more different than how he usually acts and talks when he pretends to care." Ayra suggests, looking towards Willow for proof, "Did it feel like that for you?"

She nods.

"How did you know I asked him to—"

"We've known you for years, you don't think we can pick up on the side glance both of you exchanged?" Syrena laughs, "Either way, he listened to your wishes, right?"

I stare at all of them in surprise. I didn't know they cared that much about this thing about Jackson. 

"Try the so-called 'date', see how it goes, and you decide from there." Willow grabs my hands and holds them tightly in hers, "Keep the friend category open in your head for him just for tomorrow. You don't need to be anything more, that's your choice."

"Plus, I've heard Noah's been good to you. Maybe keep him around too he seems like a sweet guy, I like him." Syrena smiles as Ayra nods in agreement.

"Alex told me he's super chill. Since they both are on the basketball team."

I finally ease up and smile with them all. I've never been more thankful for my friends.

"Use him as a release. I don't think he'll ever intentionally hurt you based on these observations we've made." Willow salutes Ayra and Syrena, "Detectives, we've done well." 

They salute her back.

"Thank you, guys," I say, my heart feels warm and full knowing I have such a strong support system. 

Ayra nods, "You deserve some good in your life."

∞

a/n: next chapter will be their date :)