Just Acting [Matthew Gray Gubler]

chapter thirty-six

You didn't tell Matthew at dinner the other day, and you haven't told him now. The deadline for your answer is tonight. In simple terms, you're freaking the fuck out.

How do you even bring up the subject? Hey, Matthew, I'm leaving the country in a few weeks. Sorry! Doesn't seem fitting. So drinks it is.

He'll be walking through your door in about twenty minutes, and you're trying to muster up a sentence. But how can you tell your boyfriend what's going on when you don't entirely know what's going on? You're not even sure you're going to go.

You sigh, getting the wine out of the cooler and placing it on the table. You made dinner, well tried to make dinner, but it seems edible enough.

You change shirts, seeing that you got spaghetti sauce on the one you were in. You're now wearing a red tank with a grey cardigan, that you stole from Matthew without him knowing, and black leggings that you've had on since this morning.

Maybe a part of you is on edge because you're not sure what would happen if you did choose to leave, you think. And maybe it's because no one knows if you'll get picked up for another season.

As you walk back out of your room, Matthew walks in the door with a smile plastered on his adorable face. "Smells good. Burned, but good."

You laugh softly, worry and sadness laced into it. "Yeah, I forgot to set the timer for 30 instead of 40. Sorry."

"Burned or not, I'm sure it'll be great."

You flash him a smile before sitting down at your dining area table. You put some of the lasagna on a plate for him, then for you, and pour yourselves some wine.

"Ooh she bougie," Matthew says with a chuckle.

"You're a dork."

"Maybe, but you like it," he winks at you.

"Eh," you say and he acts offended.

The two of you eat dinner, mostly in a comfortable silence.

"It's horrible isn't it?"

"No!" Matthew says, grabbing your hand. "I'm definitely a better cook than you, but it is not bad."

You roll your eyes playfully. "I knew I should've suckered you into cooking."

He smiles, taking a drink from his glass. You can't help but return the gesture, his smile is contagious, dimples, bright teeth, honey eyes squinting slightly.

"So," you breathe, "I need to talk to you about something."

"Okay. I'm all ears."

"A few months ago I auditioned for this movie. I didn't really think I'd ever get the part, so I almost forgot about it. Until I got a callback right before we wrapped. And I found out that the part is mine..."

"Y/n, that's amazing!" Matthew smiles, squeezing your hand.

"If I want it."

"Why wouldn't you?"

"It shoots in London. I'd have to leave in three weeks," your expression gets even sadder as you watch his face fall.

"Oh," he says, furrowing his eyebrows softly.

"But I don't think I'm going to take it."

"Y/n-"

"I don't want to leave you. I mean, we just got to a happy point with each other. What if leaving for four months changes that?"

"Y/n, you need to take this job. It's an amazing opportunity, and I can tell you want to do it."

"But-"

"We'll be fine. I'm not going to stop loving you because you're 5 thousand miles away."

Loving. He said the L word.

You avert your gaze from the table to his eyes. "You love me?" You almost say it in a whisper.

"Of course I do."

Your lips perk up at the corners. "But what if-"

"If you want this role, you should have it. Nothing should stop you from doing what you love."

It's your turn to furrow your eyebrows now. You sigh. "I'll call them and tell them I'm ready for the full script then."

Matthew smiles. "Great. I'm really happy for you."

You hug him, sitting in his lap. "Thank you."

"For the record, I better get calls every damn day while you're gone."

You laugh softly. "Oh don't doubt for a second I won't bug you from another country."

_____
You're sitting on your couch, reading the script when Matthew walks into your apartment.

"You still never learned to knock, huh babe?"

He laughs, plopping onto the couch beside you. "Nope."

You smile, eyes still scanning the words on the pages before you.

"One week before you leave me forever."

"You're so dramatic, Gube."

"I know," he says as sweetly as he can. "I'm going to miss you."

You toss the script on the coffee table. "Nope. None of that. No sappy pre-goodbyes yet. One normal week before we actually have to say goodbye, okay?"

Matthew nods. "Okay. So we can't have hot goodbye sex?"

"Matthew!" Your eyes widen as you smile toward him. "Okay fine, we can have hot goodbye sex. In a week."

"Damn, that's cold."

This movie is anticipated to be a big hit. Your character, Carter, is a 28 year old med student, studying abroad for the semester. She meets this girl and they become instant friends, until they become more. It's supposed to be an adventurous and sweet film. (which you'll know more about later.)

_____
The dreaded goodbye is approaching quicker than you'd appreciate. Of course, you're excited about this part, excited to see London for the first time, and excited to be getting more successful, but it stings at your chest to know you have to leave your friends, your family, and Matthew behind for a while. It's not like he can come with you either. He might miss a job opportunity and he has a few book signings coming up.

You wish you stretch out the week, but it decides to blow past you like a nascar driver.

Tomorrow. You leave tomorrow.

980 words. i just be updating a lot recently😌 THANK YOU FOR 30K!!!