Grey IV - Chains

Chapter 9 - Mine

I already knew the words Malachi would say to offer his soul. I had almost said them myself in a dream once, or a trance, when the Collector pulled my mind away from James' room so many months ago. When I had stood frozen, unable to turn and face him. Just like I had been unable to defeat him when we finally met in the real world. Unable to protect my Pair, unable to do anything - maybe it had been a prophecy, showing me the futility of my fight even before I knew what the fight was. But I would never be so helpless again, so pathetic, even if it meant I had to collect people and power just like he did.

Malachi was right, killing the Collector was more important than saving myself, than staying light or hiding from my nature. Especially now that we suspected I didn't have any Human nature to hide behind at all. How could I deny my Fallen blood when that's all I had? I couldn't. So I would embrace it as my brother had. After all, he was the strongest Darkling I had ever known. He was better than James had been, better than me unless I pulled my second Shift. So I would embrace the darkness that gave us power, and I would use it, just like Malachi used it. I would make my own set of rules, my own boundaries, but I wouldn't do it for fear of turning dark, I would do it to rule my dark, to control my power. I would do it to win.

I wouldn't be a pawn for either side. I didn't want to serve the dark, and I would never serve Heaven again. But I would gladly burn if it meant those I hated did too. I would willingly walk to Hell if I got to drag their bloodied bodies behind me. And so I would use every drop of my blood's power, every advantage I had regardless of where it came from, and hopefully, that would be enough, enough to kill James' father, his torturer, his murderer, Malachi's abuser. And then I would join them all in Hell with a smile on my face, done with the world. It could fight it's own monsters after that.

Malachi knew the words to say too. He had said them himself before. He had heard them countless times from others as the Collector gathered his army, amassing his power. And he had guided Ailech into saying them, just in time to save him, to pull him back from death. It seemed so simple, no additional magic was needed, no mage, no spell, just one soulless and corrupt being reaching toward the power and energy of another as they willingly offered it up. An agreement, an intention, a promise, that was all it took. So simple.

I give you my life. I give you my death. I'm yours.

Malachi looked somber as he spoke the words, both from his lips and his mind as he opened it before me. His baritone echoed through the empty room and my empty chest, my hollow mind.

You're mine.

At my reply, my mind and power reached out to him automatically, drawing the words into myself, letting them run through my Shift. It felt like the most potent drug, the steepest high, and I found myself smiling as the feeling washed over me. But then I saw Malachi's pale face, the strain in his neck, his eyes tightly squeezed shut.

"What's happening?"

The words were barely out of my mouth before he let out a low growl, doubling over where he sat. He sucked air in through his gritted teeth before looking up at me, his eyes black mirrors reflecting the ecru light of my room, almost making them the same color they usually were.

"He won't, ah- he won't let me go."

He cried the uneven words out, panting as even his Shifted voice faltered, still not enough to beat back the pain. But the Collector's hold on him was weakened, it had to be, which meant I didn't need to be stronger than an original Irin, I just had to be stronger than their fraying bond.

I pulled my own Shift, feeling it cover me like heavy, humid air, and then I tunneled deeper, searching for my second, something I hadn't done intentionally since facing the Collector. I started my counted mantra early, the deep breathes, two counts in, two out, knowing that controlling myself was the only way to prevent the swirling, burning darkness from taking over.