Grey IV - Chains

Chapter 46 - I Am

James made good on his word and didn't use his newest power again. He still won, every time, in every training or game or sparring match, but he won fair and square. Malachi was in much too good a mood with the entire situation, especially for losing time and time again. It was unsettling having him be so pleasant. It seemed fundamentally suspicious when he acted like a team player.

He and James immediately fell into acting like fast friends too, eerily similar in their speaking, their little digs and quips, how casual they were regardless of the topic, their looks and smirks. And though I wanted to like their connection, something seemed off about it. Perhaps it was just James, as everything about him seemed off to me. Ailech kept muttering to himself about 'trauma bonds' and 'unhealthy attachments' but I didn't want to get into it with him, even if it seemed he was just as uncomfortable with the situation as I was.

Ailech was also in a sour mood from getting just as hard of a workout as we were, but without the supernatural stamina or Angel names to assist him. He had to heal us more in the first hour than he had in the past week, while trying to pull deeply from his own Gift between each heal to fruitlessly attempt to slow James down. The mage was panting, his hair sweat-slicked before Malachi even looked winded, even if he had already had three broken bones mended, and his hand almost fully rebuilt from James catching a punch and crushing my brother's fist in his own.

Malachi tried to share as much energy with Ailech as he could, but his stores weren't endless either, and soon, even his attacks and counters began to slip. The only one of us who looked the same, almost completely unaffected, was James. His newly blonde hair was ruffled, and his chest rose and fell more deeply as he breathed, but he didn't even have to open his mouth to suck in air like the three of us. In fact, the only time his lips parted at all was to flash sharp teeth in a cocky grin when he would evade or best us yet again.

I could have sworn I saw elongated canines that weren't just a trick of the light or his speed at times, but I couldn't get a clear view or focus on them, on anything except trying to block and attack and control my darkness, harness and use it without letting it get away from me and injure my allies. I felt it pounding behind my ribs painfully, spreading through me, tingling down my arms to leak from my fingers, filling my chest and stomach and flowing down my legs, pushing out like it would burst from under my skin and take me apart in the process. But I gritted my teeth and held it in, only letting out shots of it, streams, little releases to ease the pressure.

In many ways it felt like my second Shift, which I also fought to keep covered. My dark was controllable in some situations, when I had the time and energy and discipline to keep it collared. But times like this, when I was moving mainly by instinct because my mind didn't have time to process and make decisions - it was all I could do to keep the wilder, destructive sides of my nature under control.

Maybe I could blame it on James, again. Maybe his power and nature called to mine, drawing them out and strengthening them with the purity of his blood. Everything felt amplified in the presence of his Shift. Everything was heightened, including my own nature. And just like so much with him, it was Heaven shot through with Hell, power and fear, control and chaos all jumbled into one tangled body.

Kael and Nevaeh continued to watch, their faces unreadable as they silently observed until one hour stretched to two. I didn't want to stop, even if the tension in my body from trying to subdue the hungry void in me was making my mind as weary as the sparring made my trembling muscles. But Ailech was clearly finished, his power spent.

It was the first time I had ever seen his heals falter. His hands hovered over Malachi's shoulder, his fingers spread, making their shake more noticeable, but the unnatural shape of Malachi's bent and broken bones and the swelling under his skin from James' latest win didn't shrink like they normally would. Ailech blew out an annoyed breath and looked to Kael, who jumped up and came to join, rolling up his sleeves.