Rather Die by Your Hands (William Afton x Reader)

Ch.5

More time has passed. Weirdly enough, the search on me was still ongoing. I thought they'd declare me dead already but I guess missing person cases don't end that quickly. It feels wrong to think about it like this but...oh well, it's going to end the same either way.

"(Y/n)!" Then a voice snapped me back to reality. I got so lost in my thoughts that I was helping to set up dinner table. "Ah, sorry. I got distracted." I told William and continued setting down the plates. I was able to walk more easily, the wounds were mostly healed and there were less bandages too, even on my arms although they weren't healing; I think William noticed that too. I'm also surprised William didn't call the police to pick me up already; news about me were everywhere, on almost every news channel but I guess it makes sense since he spends most of his time in the restaurant and that place had no electricity and he's under my watch when at home.

We also had gotten a lot more closer. He opened up much more, though he still remained a mystery and I felt like I could actually trust him. We sat down to eat, this time he tried a recipe of mine and the outcome seemed good enough. As I was about to eat, he called out to me. "Hey, (y/n)?"

I rose my head and nodded as he continued. "Will you really tell me what happened that night? Especially, how you got those wounds?" I felt a chill down my spine; if I told him the truth, he'd surely send me back but at the same time I didn't want to lie to him. I gulped and started talking. "Depends, will you  tell me  more about you too?"

He sighed but then, answered. "What do you wanna know?" I looked directly into his eyes, what did I wanna know? I just thought up of it as a way out but...if I hit a secretive spot, it might just work. "Like, what did you hide from me that day? When I asked you about...Elizabeth? Afton and all of that." He settled back; yes, I might just slip out of this one, I thought but then he spoke up again. "Very well, you already know what I've done so I got nothing to hide from you but you go first."

Fuck, well no worth trying to run away anymore and besides, I actually wanted to know more so I just continued. "Okay, well, I got most of the scars on my leg when I was running that night and glass fragments cut my leg as I was running and rest is just my work...that's why they aren't healing, I did them a long time ago and no matter what I tried they just stayed there, to remind me all." I let out a sigh but that was it and now he knew.

"But, why? Why did you even hurt yourself?" He asked in disbelief which confused me too, isn't it obvious why? But regardless I continued. "Because I just couldn't take it, those days were the hardest times of my life. I didn't know if I could handle another day even if I went to sleep. Some were momentarily to take out the aching crawling up my body and some..." I looked at the deep, long scars on my wrists for a moment, then went on. "...were to take me out but they weren't enough to kill me and...I don't care if I were dead; it's enough if that was all there is to it, it doesn't hurt as much anymore physically but they bring back bad memories..."

A few drops of tear started to fall down my face, it got even harder for me to speak. William saw this and rushed to give me a napkin and hug. "You don't have to tell me anymore." He said, I hugged back tightly. "No, I'm fine, plus I wanna know what happened with you too." I took a sip of the water then went on. "It reminds me of the looks my parents, friends everyone had on their face when I woke up in the hospital. It reminds me of the muffled screams off my mom as I was passing out after attempting to die, it...reminds me of how much I hurt people then while trying to find a way out on my own..."

William pulled back from the hug, looking at me with a confused face now. "Your family? You never told me about your family, where are they now?" He asked as he sent me into an internal panic. 'Oh shit, what do I say now? I can't tell him that I am hiding from them, what do I do?' I thought as a scenario came into my mind. "They're...dead. It's been a few months since they passed away but I was still living with them so I ended up homeless after an eviction came to the house. I wasn't able to pay the rent so I took this to the court, hoping they'd give me some pity and more time to pay it up but instead a few of my relatives showed up and offered me a home instead. Thus the court accepted it since it made everything easier but I'm sure they had ulterior motives, I don't have...very found memories of them as a child either so I ran away. That's why I had to lay low too, I'm sure the police is still looking out for me somewhere but I don't wanna return there..." Not a single thing I said was true but I had no other choice. I'm sorry, William.

He shook his head and replied to me in a comforting tone. "Don't worry, I won't tell anyone you're here. I don't want you to be hurt again and I'm not gonna let anyone do it either." He gave me a soft smile as he got up and returned to his seat. "Guess it's my turn to tell, huh?" Right, I wanted...to know. I nodded in agreement as he started. "Elizabeth died...and so did my younger son by my works...I didn't tell because...I know it's my fucking fault but it hurts to accept it. She's gone, they're gone, everyone's gone...all because of me."

I felt guilty for asking but yet, I still didn't quite get it. Sons? Because of him? How? "I-I'm sorry, William but I'm sure it actually wasn't your fault." I tried to comfort him but it ended up worse. "NO! You don't know anything...you weren't there...that damn robot took her and nobody was there for her, those stupid costumes took away him too..." and that didn't help either, I wanted to help William but I thought I first had to understand to find a solution so I kept asking. "Took her away? Robot? What? William calm down, you're not making any sense."

"I, it's..." William was still panicking and talked as if it was getting harder for him to speak as I noticed, tears were falling down his face. I realized I went too far, I'm sorry. "It's fine, you don't have to go on, I'm sorry that I pushed you." William shook his head. "No, you did nothing wrong. It just seems that, hah-ha, I still can't get over them." He took a sip of his water.
I was gonna tell him, but decided not to and it was best to just let him continue the meal as so did I.

After dinner, I told him I was going to the bathroom. He nodded as he was handling the dishes. I rushed to the bathroom to take the painkillers he gave me, I didn't know if it'd be any help but my chest and back were hurting so badly. I opened the cupboard and took out the bottled, I accidently dropped it in panic as I was undoing the lid and I coughed out, my throat was hurting so badly then I looked at my sleeve, I coughed up blood.

This was worse, I quickly changed my shirt with one William had because I still didn't have any clothes here. I'd make something up like I spilled food on it, that wasn't what was important now. I took a couple of painkillers to relieve the pain, which now that I think about it, it might not have been the best idea but regardless... I couldn't let him find out about this.