Blade's Edge || Deception Book II ||

Chapter 22: Falling

The wolf stood, hidden in the shadows, her golden eyes fixed on the two demigods sleeping together under the stars.

As she watched, the girl with long, golden blond hair rolled over, curling herself into the side of the boy next to her who responded by enveloping her in an embrace.

The wolf knew that she should stop this, that perhaps a little interference was needed, but she couldn't bring herself to do anything. Her paws were rooted to the deck.

She had made a promise to herself, to the gods, to the girl, but as she looked down at the two of them, nestled in each other's warmth, she realized that she didn't want to do anything. The wolf slept at the foot of the girl's bed every day and she saw firsthand how nightmares would jolt her awake in the middle of the night, though the girl never remembered them the next day.

The wolf knew that the stress, the burden, and the secrets had been eating away at the girl ever since last summer but now, asleep in the arms of none other than her enemy, the girl's face was peaceful. Her green eyes, which were always thinking, thinking, and thinking were, for the first time in a long while, truly closed.

The secrets were too much for anyone to bear, the wolf mused, her knowing eyes still on the two. It was too much. She'd always known that the boy would fall, though she'd never foreseen the girl falling as well. And yet . . .

Her ears twitched as the girl stirred, her lashes fluttering as the sky lightened from a deep black to a hazy blue. Dawn was almost here, and the girl would wake at any moment.

She cast one last, long look at the two demigods, and though she knew it was wrong, that she had to stop this before it spiralled out of control, the wolf huffed through her nose, turned, and padded away on silent paws.

***

I blinked, stirring from the haze of sleep as the first rays of the sun peeked through the horizon.

A split second later, I froze, every nerve in my body sending warning bells through my head as I suddenly became aware of the body next to mine. What the hell had happened?

Oh, right, I thought, the events of last night flooding back. The celebration, the fireworks, and Luke.

And that kiss, I reminded myself.

Stop it, I scolded myself, trying to shake the butterflies that just would not disappear. First things first. Get out of this position. I shifted, carefully extracting myself from underneath Luke's arm, trying not to think about the sudden chill in the air or the fact that I'd gotten a more restful sleep than I had in a long, long time.

Luke mumbled something in his sleep and I froze, then relaxed as his breath evened out again. I was an early riser, the sun was barely up, and I had no desire to wake Luke up and face him before I could sort out the events of last night.

I shifted myself a few feet away from his sleeping figure, wrapping my blanket to ward off the morning chill sweeping off the ocean. In the morning light, the magic of the little dream Luke had created with the fairy lights, blooming flowers, and lush greenery was no less diminished, though the veil of wonder had been stripped away.

My eyes landed on the fairy lights and the memory of that kiss immediately sprang back into my head. Oh my gods, I thought, putting my head in my hands. What the heck was wrong with me? It was just a kiss! It's not like that was the first time you two kissed!

But it was different, the other voice, the one I liked to call my stupid irrationality, argued. It was different.

Even if it was different, smart rationality shot back, it doesn't change the fact that you can't cross that line. He. Is. Your. Enemy. Period.

But what if I - No, enough, I thought, shutting down that train of thought before it could lead me to unthinkable fantasies. Enough. If life were a fairytale, perhaps I'd be able to entertain that thought, that story where two enemies fall in love and achieve a happy-ever-after against all odds, but life wasn't a fairytale.

I had my job, and that line couldn't be crossed. Even if I found myself toeing it day and day again. Treason, a cold voice whispered through my mind, and I shivered at the implications of what might happen if I did cross it. I couldn't. It was out of the question.

My eyes drifted back towards Luke and I found myself tracing the contours of his face, his long lashes glimmering in the rising sun, and the peace on his expression.

And yet . . . a part of me couldn't help wondering if I really could. I wished that we could have just been a normal girl and guy, free of all the secrets and burdens we both carried. I wished that things could have been different, where I didn't have to wear this mask and fight so hard to keep the wall up that was slowly crumbling into dust day by day.

I shook my head, trying to sort through the jumble and the emotions that just wouldn't go away.

Fine, I thought, my eyes still on Luke as I took a deep breath. Fine. Maybe you're starting to develop feelings for him. Maybe you like him. I shoved down the next word that sprang up, the rationality I had overpowering my emotions, refusing to admit that last phrase.

Maybe I like him. Maybe that wall is breaking, and it's inevitable. But it doesn't change your mission, Clari, I reminded myself. It's just a setback that you didn't foresee. But your job doesn't change. Do your fucking job, and do it properly.

I took a deep breath, reminding myself that I was Clarianna Sinclair, spy of the Olympians, and I could not let anything, not even myself, jeopardize my mission.

The fate of the West depended on it, and I would not, could not, let myself fail. Even if it meant lying, even if it meant slowly ripping myself apart, I had to succeed.

Failure was not an option.

So, when Luke finally stirred an hour later, his hair an adorable mess, I ignored the flutters of the incessant butterflies in my stomach and smiled at him warmly.

Even when he grinned back at me, his blue eyes clear, I forced my emotions aside, giving control to the cold logic drilled into me from years of training with Athena.

But that ache in my heart, no matter how much I tried to deny it, no matter how deep I shoved it within myself and locked it up, wouldn't go away. 

***

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- Aeryndyl