My Choice

3

I removed my arm that held Milton and gave a large sigh. I had purposely left my arm over him to make sure the blanket didn't get pulled down by accident.

"You can get dressed now." I said simply. I could tell he was awake from his unsteady breathing.

Milton didn't move but instead retreated under the blanket and groaned with obvious frustration.

"It's fine I'll leave first." I told him.

Without feeling any shame in my nudity, I simply walked around finding my clothes and dressed. Being courteous, I gathered his clothes as well and tossed them on the bed.

"I'm going to head home, I'll see you later." I said but he didn't even acknowledge me.

I walked out shutting the door behind me and sighed while leaning against the door. I didn't know if I should have been thrilled or unsatisfied, but one thing I knew was that it was a one-time thing.

"Leaving?" Raiden asked with his sympathetic look again.

Raiden said he knew I loved Milton because he himself was in love with me. He confessed to me last year in the eleventh grade but even though he knew I loved Milton he said he would regret it if he never told me. He wasn't open like I was and other than me, the only one who knew he was gay was an old friend of his that he seldom saw.

"Yeah, I need to think a little." I sighed again.

I really didn't want to think about it, but I knew I had to and I had to do it before I saw Milton again, which was supposed to be two days later, at school.

"Did you do it?" He looked around realizing he said it without concern.

I didn't say anything which was obviously my way of saying yeah. Though I wasn't actually able to penetrate Milton, I still did enough to not know exactly what to say. He looked to the ground for a moment but then lifted his head and smiled largely.

"Well then good for you." he said honestly yet he wasn't able to hold back his hurt expression.

Without saying anything I nodded my head and walked past him feeling guilty. When he confessed, he never asked for anything, not asking what I thought or asking me out, he just said it with a strong smile. It had been a year since then and I still hadn't responded to his feelings. I didn't act as though it didn't happen and dismiss his confession, I just never knew what to say.

I told myself many times that if I hadn't loved Milton, then I would have given me and Raiden a try, but I couldn't tell him that.

"Don't end up acting like it didn't happen and don't say it was a mistake." Raiden said sternly without turning around to look at me. "You got what you wanted, though it may end up being only for a night, you fulfilled your desire."

I didn't say anything but looked at his back wondering if I should say something but I didn't know what. This time he turned to me with his brows furrowed, and glared at me as if he hated me.

"Though I know you will regret it, you both will regret it, and I, who loves you, will regret the fact that I didn't try harder. I should have made it so you got over your first love, I should have made it so you loved me instead." he sighed then smiled lightly. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have let you get into a situation where you are undoubtedly going to hurt more than you ever have before."

The door behind him opened and Milton simply walked out with a look that said, he was obviously going to act as though it never happened.

"Hey Milton." Raiden said calmly.

"What's up?"

Without any warning Raiden decked Milton in the face causing Milton to stumble back and hit the wall.

"You fucking suck." Raiden scoffed with a laugh.

He left me and Milton there without saying anything else, leaving us with an awkward silence.