100 days | muke (boyxboy)

48

day: 48

dear luke,

i'm sorry. i'm sorry i can't tell you everything i've written in this letter in person. i'm just scared of how you'll react to be honest. i love you luke, you have to know that i love you. it is very hard for me to write this. tomorrow i will be leaving on a train to america. my plan is to sneak in your room tonight and put it on your desk. by the time you notice it, it will be too late. i hope you know why i am doing this. you must know that we aren't compatible. you're always happy and i am always sad. we are like fire and ice. i am only bringing you down luke. i will see you again one day and you will have moved on. i will be fine with that because i only want what's best for you. even if i wanted to stay i couldn't. my family is forcing me to move, but i think it will benefit me in the long run. it will be torture for me because i won't get to see your pretty face anymore. i don't want you to be sad about me leaving. i feel like i have known you for years and it hurts me to say goodbye. my phone number is already changed so you won't be able to reach me there. i'm doing this for you luke. right now you might think i'm insane, but just please trust me. if we are truly meant to be together we will find our way back to each other. in the mean time, i will be in New York eating tons of greasy american food. 

love,
michael xxx

i look down at the tear stained letter in my lap and begin to hyperventilate.

-

i blink away the sleepiness weighing down my eyelids and squint at the sunlight filtering through my curtains. 

i still can't stop thinking about my dream. it honestly felt so real and waking up and realizing it was all fake was a huge relief. michael would never up and leave like that. nightmares usually result from the things that have been on our minds and now i know why it happened. lately i have been having this feeling that michael doesn't want me anymore. even when i dream, i can't escape my thoughts.