Vespera

11

"I loved you, I really did" humahagulgol na sabi niya.

"Loved? bakit past tense?" pagkukunwari ko pero parang alam ko na kung anong sasabihin niya.

"I'm really really sorry, may mahal na 'kong iba" umiiyak na sabi niya habang nakayuko.

"Huh? What do you mean by that? B-bakit? Gaano ba 'kong katagal nakahiga dito?" naiiyak at naguguluhan na sabi ko. 

"Yvaine... you were in a coma for a year, and in that one year, maraming nangyari sa buhay ko... sa career ko... I was in a very dark place..." pagbitin niya. 

"And?" tanong ko. 

"I needed someone to rely on, someone that can be by my side during those times... and she was there" mahinang bulong niya. 

Bigla kong naalala yung babaeng kasama niya nung araw na naaksidente ako. 

"Is it her?" tanong ko. 

"Who?" gulat na tanong niya. 

"Yung babaeng kasama mo... nung araw na naaksidente ako" seryosong sabi ko at natahimik naman siya. 

"Y-yes..." bulong niya. 

"You said she was there by your side while I was gone. Pero... nung nakita ko kayo that day, naglalandian na kayo. So kahit na hindi nangyari yung akidente na 'yon, malamang, iniwan mo na rin ako because of her-"

"Yvaine, it's not like that-" 

"Regardless of the situation, you would've still chosen her, would you? Excuse lang yung aksidente ko..." umiiyak na sabi ko. 

"I'm sorry" bulong niya at nagsimula na ring umiyak. 

"Dave... why was our relationship filled with apologies?" tanong ko at natigilan naman siya. 

"Minahal kita, binigay ko lahat kahit ako mismo, ubos na ubos na. Pinili kita araw-araw at hanggang ngayon ay pipiliin pa'rin kita. You've known me for so many years already, tapos ipagpapalit mo 'ko sa babaeng recently mo lang nakilala?" dirediretsong sabi ko. 

"H-hindi ko alam... naguguluhan rin ako, nahihirapan rin ako! I was fooled by our agency manager, kinukuha niya sa'min ang mga earnings na'min, hindi niya binibigay. It took a while to find a new agency na maganda" pag explain pa niya. 

"What does that have to do with us? Anong nagawa kong mali, Dave? You said that you would've still chosen her regardless kung naaksidente ako o hindi. So... bakit? Anong pagkukulang ko? Wasn't everything I have done and gave enough?" umiiyak na sabi ko. 

"Look, I didn't realize that I already had feelings for her. She was always there for me, even before your accident. Palagi siyang nandiyan every time na wala ka and busy ka mag-aral. She was always willing to comfort me and to hangout with me, things that you weren't able to do because of college" pag explain niya pa. 

Hindi ko alam ang nararamdaman ko. Galit? Inis? Lungkot? Sakit? Hindi ko alam, wala na 'kong maintindihan sa mga sinasabi niya. 

"I was studying, I was pursuing my own dreams while you were pursuing yours. Ano? Ikaw lang ba ang pwedeng maghabol sa pangarap mo? Gusto mo bang sayo lang umikot ang mundo ko?" galit na sigaw ko. 

"No, but I just wanted you to be there when I needed you" malungkot na sabi niya at natigilan naman ako. 

"Yvaine, choosing her... has nothing to do with you. But has everything to do with her" seryosong sabi niya at tumalikod na. 

Bago pa man siya lumabas ay tinawag ko pa ulit siya to ask him one last time. 

"Dave, wait" bulong ko at tumigil naman siya.