The A-Z Of Sex (Complete)

Over And Over

Fuck!

I throw my gym bag across the locker room and then slam my palm into the brick wall

The itinerary for today said jiu jitsu 'seminar' but I turn up here to find is a fuckin jiu jitsu practical demonstration and we're in pairs and guess who the fuck my partner is...

Candi!

I half consider calling Camila and asking her to come and rescue me again but that wouldn't be fair, she has a whole day of shopping planned and the homework I set her to find lingerie that looks great from behind is on my mind knowing the lesson I have planned for tonight

No, I'm just going to have to 'man the fuck up' whatever the hell that means, Like men don't have weakness and fears too, like we aren't human at all

"Shawn"

Her voice from behind me causes my blood to run cold. The number of times she's cornered me like this should have me well used to it but it doesn't, each time I feel the same, familiar flood of dirtiness and unease and it's like I'm walking in quicksand, my heart thumping with exertion but my legs not going anywhere

"I thought it was you but I didn't recognise you without the little girl attached to your hip" she smirks as she saunters towards me in her tiny pink spandex hotpants and crop top

"Sorry but if you're talking about Camila you have it all wrong because it's my dick she's usually attached to"

I'm trying to be cocky, trying to show her she doesn't effect me, that I'm over this bullshit, that she can go fuck herself but in truth my hands are shaking as my mind begs me to move, to put some distance between us but before I can she closes the gap and cups her hand between my legs

"Mmmm. It's been too long Shawn" I push her hand away but she just laughs at me "don't tell me it's because of her because I don't believe that for one second"

"Of course it's because of her, you might have no respect for your own relationship Candi but please try and at least have some respect for mine"

It's strange how easily I refer to what's going on between Camila and I as a relationship and even more strange how my stomach warms at the thought

"It wasn't that long ago you had no respect for my relationship either Shawn or are you forgetting about that? Do I have to tell my husband what type of man his number one employee is?"

The same situation

The same fuckin threats

Over and over again

"I'm not interested Candi. I want you to leave me and my job alone and for good this time"

"And if I do what will you give me in return?" She steps closer whilst licking her lips and my stomach heaves

"Please.." it's over my lips just as her hands snake into my hair and she lips connect with mine and for a second I let her, just as I always used to let her

Her lips feel cool, and slippery from all the gloss she has plastered on and I can taste the cigarette she must have just been smoking, her smell and taste feels so wrong, so dirty, like it's contaminating all the good feelings that Camila provokes in me and like I never have before I push her away

"Don't do that I have a girlfriend!"

"No, what you have is a little girl when what you need is a woman" she reaches for me again but I push her hand away

"You don't know me or what I need"

"I know you needed me, had me, over and over and I know what we had was real" she reaches to stroke my face "that's how I know it isn't over"

"I don't want you, I want Camila"

And fuck do I want her right now, I want her here with me, by my side, holding my hand and engaging in the verbal sparring that's become like foreplay between us.

I don't want to be here with Candi, I don't want to participate in a demonstration that would see our bodies tangled together, her hands all over me, her mouth near my ear whispering things I don't want to hear

"You want her cos she's new and she's young and she's innocent"

I want to tell her no, I want her because she sees me and challenges me and trusts me but I just shake my head

"She's flavour of the month Shawn but you'll soon grow bored, you'll soon be prowling the streets again for new flesh"

I want to tell her that I haven't touched anyone but Camila and the thought of touching anyone else makes me squirm but again I shake my head

"Give it a week or two and you'll be back in my bed"

"Never!" I say the word and she just laughs

"It's you and me Shawn or its you on the streets, no job, no money and a very angry Ray Bennet looking for his money" she moves closer and once again pushes her hand into my hair "I'm sure Camila will understand. I'm sure she knows deep down that she doesn't deserve a man like you"

With that last statement her lips are on mine, her fingers pulling at my hair as I instantly freeze

Wanting to run

Wanting to cry

Wanting Camila...

Fuck!

I think I really want Camila!!!!