The A-Z Of Sex (Complete)

Put Me Back Together Again

Tw for word rapist

I look down at the faces in front of me, my heart pounding, my head aching and the skin on my face tight from tears and I wait for someone to speak, to react to what I just told them but the faces stay still as though made of stone or as though time just froze on the most brutal moment of my life

"So is someone going to say something?" I ask, my voice shaky, terrified of what they will say, how they will see it who they will blame "I know this is probably a lot to take in..."

My dad stands up first, violently grabbing hold of me by the shoulders and dragging me into him and I feel just like a little boy again, his warmth and smell dragging me back through time only now he's smaller than I remember he was when he used to keep me safe as a child and I know it's because I'm not a little boy anymore this time he's holding me, attempting to keep me safe as a man

"Son!"

That word....

One word, drenched in so much emotion as he squeezes me so tight I think he might be breaking me and then it dawns on me my dad is holding me so tight that he's fixing me, pushing all the broken pieces back together and making me whole "Shawn..." I hear tears on his voice and that's all it takes for my own to fall

"Papai" I cry "I'm so sorry" my chest and back begin to ache as I struggle to control my sobs and my knees feel like they want to give way, the weight of everything I have carried feeling so much more than I ever realised it was

"Shawny!" This time my moms arms go around me "You have nothing to be sorry for! nothing at all. Don't you ever apologise for this"

"But I hadn't gone to New York if I hadn't..."

"This is not if you hadn't, this it's a if she hadn't. She's the one that did something wrong Shawn" My dad's voice is wet but strong and resolute as he continues to hold me in his arms, my mother's hands smoothing over my hair as she places kiss after kiss on my cheek

"I'm so sorry this happened to you my baby boy" She whispers amongst the kisses "You didn't deserve this, you have to know you didn't deserve any of this"

"And you have suffered... all these years, carrying it all on your own" My dad releases me for an instant and then closes his hands around my face like a vice "I knew I was raising a strong man with you Shawn, but I had no idea I was raising a fucking warrior" he kisses both of my cheeks and then returns to holding me and we stand there, the three of us sobbing and kissing and whispering apologies and thanks when suddenly my sister stands up and I know things are about to get real

"She has to pay"

"Aaliyah!" My mom scolds her, as she wraps her hand in mine and smoothes the fingers of her other hand over my cheek "This isn't the time"

"Of course it's the time she's a fuckin rapist!"

"Aaliyah!" My mother snaps again but I know that look in my sisters eye, there's no stopping her when she's like this, I know that because it's the same look I get in my eye when all hell's about to break loose

"She is a rapist and she is trying to get my brother fuckin killed and I am not going to just stand here and take it!" She jumps up from her seat and stalks across to us "Shawn, I love you so much but this, it has to be dealt with, it's not just going to go away"

My mother tuts and turns her back to Aaliyah, pulling me with her as though we're about to leave and suddenly Aaliyah's hands are on hers, prying her off of me

"Don't do this mom, don't bury your head in the sand. What would you do if this was me, hu?! If I came home crying because an older man had drugged and raped me would you hold me? Kiss me? tell me everything will be okay?"

"Of course I would!"

"And then what would you do? You'd call the police and you'd report it as a crime. This is a crime against Shawn and that bitch isn't going to get away with it! Papai, I'm right aren't I? Tell her that I'm right"

My dad finally releases me and runs a hand through his greying hair "She's right Karen, we have to go to the police"

"But Manny, he has no proof, it happened a long time ago it's his word against hers and she's already threatened to tell them it happened the other way around"

"But that's not the truth!" Aaliyah's face is red, her hands clenched in fists by her side "Just because he's a guy doesn't mean he doesn't deserve to be heard, it doesn't mean he has to sweep it under the carpet and act like it didn't happen. He deserves justice just like every other fuckin victim does and you are not going to deny him of that because you think 'It happened a long time ago' or 'It's his word against hers' he will carry this every day of his life until someone looks him in the eye and tells him 'I see you, I believe you and you deserve justice for what you've been through'"

"Well who knew it" says my dad as he reaches an arm around Aaliyah and pulls her into his side "We've been raising two warriors this whole time and we didn't even know it"

I laugh a little through my tears and then look to my sister "I knew it" I confirm and she gives me a small smile back

"Shawn. Why don't you go and take a shower, you look exhausted" my dad tells me as he pats my back "I'll make you a snack and then you and I will head down to the police station, how does that sound?"

"Terrifying" I admit as I look towards my mother who appears torn, her face pale and tear stained, her hands shaking "Mom, tell me this is alright, that you agree that this is the right thing to do, I need to hear that from you"

"I'll make your bed fresh for you getting home son" She tells me with a half smile and I nod, moving past her, heading towards the stairs that lead up to the bathroom

"Liyah..."

"You want me to ask Camila to come with you?"

"Will you call her for me?"

"Of course I will, she would kill me if she thought I'd let you go through this without her"

"You knew didn't you?" She nods confirming what I thought the second I started talking and she looked away, like she knew what was coming but wasn't sure if she could face it

"She's been so scared Shawn, she loves you so much"

I just nod before heading upstairs, terrified of what's to come but beyond thankful for the girl I'm about to face it with

*just one or two more chapters left