The A-Z Of Sex (Complete)

For The Girl That Loves Me

"Ok what's up?" I ask Camila as I roll off of her. Attempting to catch my breath and pushing my damp hair from my eyes

We've only been at this for about half an hour and usually we would just be getting started but today Camila seems less than 'enthusiastic' and I have to admit that's a bit of a blow to my over inflated ego

"I'm sorry" she says as she pulls the sheet over her to cover her chest and I immediately want to rip it off and get back to business but her eyes look sad and I hate that.

I don't think it's me...

Don't think I've done any dickheaded stuff recently and as my eyebrows knit together as I try to think about all the dickeheaded stuff I could have done but don't think I did do her hand comes up to my chest and smoothes back and forth over it and I can't help but smile the goofy smile only she provokes in me

"It's not you" she tells me and I puff out a hot breath of relief

"Well what is it then? We barely got going there"

"I just..." she uses my chest to push herself into a sitting position and then tilts her head to mimic my own, her beautiful, shiny, brown eyes sad and matt

"Baby you can talk to me... I know my mouth gets me into a lot of trouble but my ears are pretty well behaved" She raises a finger to my lips and smiles softly

"I love your mouth"

"Yeah? How much do you love it?" I crawl over her, forcing her backwards until she's lying down under me again and I feel my dick settle between her thighs and I can't help but feel like I'm home

"You know how much"

"Yeah but my ego is dinted by your lack of interest in me, why don't you just humour me?" I move my mouth to her neck, doing some of my best work as I kiss and bite at it softly, waiting for her moans of pleasure and then for her to give into me but instead her hand once again lands on my chest as she gently pushes me away and again my ego takes a hit

"Shawn..."

"Camila..." I whine "Keep this up and I'm going to have no ego left at all and who knows if you will even still want me without my greatest asset"

"Your ego is not your greatest asset" she winks as she reaches between my legs and then giggles "And neither's he actually, it's your heart, of course it's your heart" she wraps her arms around me and I suddenly feel disappointed that she doesn't think my dick is the greatest part of me... my heart? Hmm, I guess I'll take it

"So what's going on? Usually you can't get enough of me but today..."

"I just have things on my mind" she sighs and I feel my dick retreat, realising he's probably not going to be needed for a while

"I just..." She bites down on her lip and I see her chin quiver and I do not like that look one little bit

"What?" I sit up straight, taking her face in my hands and search her face, desperate for her to make eye contact with me, to let me know that we're okay, that whatever this is, it isn't me

"I..." a huge tear wobbles down her cheek and I hate it so much I use my thumb to brush it away so I can pretend it never existed but just as it disappears another one falls and then another and another and another

"Mila... baby... what the hell?!"

"I'm so scared" she whispers and I feel my hands trembling against her face, terrified of what's about to come

"Of?" But she doesn't answer me "Of what Camila?!"

"Of losing you" my breath catches in my throat at her words "I just found you, just found the first man I ever truly loved and I cant bare to think that you might not be able to pay that money and they might hurt you or worse"

She suddenly collapses against me, her tears running down the skin of my chest as her entire body shakes in my arms and not the way I wanted to make her shake tonight

"Sssh, honey please..."

"I did something so silly Shawn, you're going to hate me" My blood runs cold as I pull her away from me slightly and then look over her face, her eyes refusing to meet mine once more

"What did you do?" I ask it although I'm pretty sure I'm not going to like the answer

"I went to your work"

No...

"I spoke to Candi..."

No!

"I hit Candi"

"What the fuck?!" I can't help but curse in shock at the thought of my girl, my tiny, gentle girl hitting anyone "Why? What did she say?" My heart begins to pound deep inside of me almost like tiny earthquakes causing my own body to shake

"So many things, told me the different place you guys had... you know" she motions between our bodies with her head and it makes me sick to think she thinks Candi and I were anything like we are "She said she could do what she wanted to you because you were hers" she sniffs loudly as her hands move to my cheeks, her thumbs smoothing gently over my cheekbones as she attempts to swallow down her sobs "But you aren't are you Shawn? You're mine aren't you?"

"All yours baby, I promise"

"I was so scared, my mind wouldn't shut off, I kept thinking of what might happen and how you didn't deserve it and how she was to blame and I tried to think of a way to help but I'm so useless I couldn't come up with anything realistic except killing her and then I would be in jail and you would still be dead and that wouldn't have made anything better"

"Camila, breathe" I rest my forehead against hers and for a moment or two we just breathe together in silence

"I was going to give you to her... for one night. That's how desperate I was! How terrified! I'm so sorry, baby please forgive me, I'm so, so sorry" her arms go around my neck and she clings to me and sobs and it's as though the entire world slows around me

This thing with Candi...

The money...

This isn't just effecting me, it's effecting this girl who just give herself and her heart to me so completely even when she knew all of my flaws, and all of my shit that goes with me

It's hurting her when I never ever want to be the one to hurt her

"It's okay..." I whisper against her neck, adoring the feel of her silky soft skin against my own but hating the way m her heart beats hard against my chest in fear

I never want her to be afraid

Not because of me

Not because of something that could happen to me

Years ago I thought I had lost the love of my life and that had sent my life spiralling out of control but here in this moment I know I have truly only just found her and I won't be the cause of a moment of suffering for her

"Get dressed" I whisper, squeezing her body to mine one last time and then pushing up from the bed, knowing if I don't get dressed and do this now I will never do it

"Where are we going?"

"You're going home..." I reach into my closet and take out jeans and a T-shirt "And I'm going to end this, the only way I know how"