The A-Z Of Sex (Complete)

Miserable Memories

"Were you skipping?!"

I give Brian the dirtiest look I possibly can "No I was not fuckin skipping"

"Well it definitely looked like you were skipping"

"I was walking my very masculine walk the way I always do thank you very much" he pats me hard on the back and laughs as I open my locker and stuff my gym bag into it

"How's the 'girlfriend' ?"

"She's great"

"Oh my God you're blushing!"

"Fuck you Brian!" I lift a hand to touch my cheek "I'll 'blush' your cheek with my fist of you don't quit it"

He laughs that loud, annoying laugh of his and I shake my head as my phone buzzes loudly in my hand.

I have assigned Camila her own ringtone so know immediately it's not her so my heart sinks a little but when I finally look down and see the name on the screen my heart drops even harder in to my stomach

1 msg

Jackson: Step outside

"Problem?" Asks Brian, his hand coming to rest on my shoulder and his brows pinching together

"Jackson" is my only response as I begin to walk towards the exit

"You need some back up?

I don't turn to face him "Possibly, but from someone that's not likely to roll into a ball and cry for his mommy" it's meant as a joke but my voice is drained of humour, unsure what's about to come next but 100% sure it isn't going to be good

********

Jackson Hilliard stands with his back against the brick wall of the gym, his brown hair slicked back, shades covering his eyes and wearing a black leather jacket and ripped jeans, dressed to look like every stereotype of a bad guy you've ever seen

"Mendes"

"What's up? I made my payment this month... as usual"

He pushes off from the wall and walks towards me. I'm trying desperately to read his face but it's blank and the shades don't help by covering his eyes

"Look Shawn, I like you..."

Why doesn't that statement make me feel any better?

"That's why I made the arrangement with you in the first place and that's why I'm patiently letting you pay me back" I nod and try to steady my breathing, if this turns violent I can take him easily but a violent confrontation with the guy I owe thousands of dollars to is not how I want this day to go

"So why are you here?"

"The situation's changed, you have one month to make full repayment or..."

"Are you insane?! I can't find that sort of money in one month"

"Not my problem"

"Come on Jackson, I have been paying every fuckin month man, I haven't missed one!"

"I know that"

"So why are you doing this to me?!"

I register his head slightly move to the left and I follow his line of vision

...Candi!

Stood at the entrance to the gym watching this little scene play out with a grin pulling at her thin lips

"What has she said to you?"

"Shawn..."

"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?!" I yell at her and she quickly turns and heads back inside "Whatever it was..."

"One month"

"No I can't, Jackson please, it's impossible"

"One month" he repeats as he moves his leather jacket to show the metal of the gun he has tucked in the waistband of his jeans

"Okay"

It's not okay...

It's anything but okay but there's nothing I can say to change his mind I know that but as he goes to leave he puts a hand in my shoulder and I straighten my spine so that I tower over him

"I'm sorry" It's all he says before he turns and heads back to his black Mercedes

*******

I shouldn't be doing this...

With everything in me I know I shouldn't be doing this but I'm propelled by an anger I have rarely known before

As I reach Candis office door I don't even knock I just pull it open, step inside and then slam it shut

"Shawn..." she drawls my name out and I hate the way it sounds falling from her lips

"Why?" It's all I can force out right now

"Why not?" She says it so lightly, like she's done nothing wrong, like her actions don't have the capability to end my life

"I have done nothing to you!"

"Oh you have done plenty to me let's not pretend New York didn't happen or those times in the locker room..." My stomach turns at the memories "Does your little girlfriend know about us? What we did? What we were?"

"She doesn't need to know the gory details because it was nothing it meant nothing I felt nothing!"

"You felt something really good when you were whispering my name"

My mouth floods with bitter bile as my stomach heaves at my darkest most miserable memories, a period of my life I wish I could forget but which refuses to leave me, continuing to punish me even years after it has passed

"Why can't you just let it go? You're a married woman, I have a girlfriend..."

"Girl is the right word"

"I'm with Camila, I don't want to be with anyone else"

"Not even if it pays off your debt with Jackson?"

I freeze, my body suddenly forgetting that it needs oxygen to survive

"That's right Shawn, you forget all about Camilla, resume our relationship and I will pay off every, single penny that you owe to Jackson. How does that sound?"

"It sounds like you're insane"

"Tell me no and it sounds like you're dead"

She smiles as she says it to me and for probably the first time in my life I seriously want to punch a woman in the face and I think she would actually deserve it

"You and Camilla have been together for such a short period of time I'm sure she'll be upset but she'll forget about you, she'll move on"

I bite down hard, the thought of Camila being with someone other than me pushing me even closer to the edge on which I'm teetering

"You've been messing with my life for too long"

"It doesn't end Shawn, I always get what I want and I want you and I won't stop until I get you"

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