9.

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Pre race Summer's nails, as always, are non-existent from the stress. She's always had the habit, but for some reason her nerves are worse watching it in person. Her heartbeat rises when the lights go off. Daniel has a tight battle with Max on the opening lap.
"That was enough stress for this race thank you," Summer mumbles.

-

Yellow flags.
When the names of the drivers involved pops up, Summer feels like crying. Out of the corner of her eye she can see Luke turn to look at her. That looks bad, but you can see Giovinazzi climbing out so George should be fine too, right? When George gets out of his car a weight lifts off her shoulders.
"Thank God," she breathes out.
The replays however do nothing good for Summer.
Her heart starts beating faster, and her vision clouds. Her breathing picks up. She starts to walk outside of the garage.

Summer suddenly sees bright lights coming towards them.
"Mark watch out!" She shouts, but she's too late. Before she knows it the other car rams into them. She blacks out for a few seconds, but when she's awake again she sees the blood on her brother. There's glass in his head and she can't tell if he's breathing.
"Mark!" She moves towards him and gently shakes him, in case he's hurt really bad.
"Mark! Come on wake up!" She feels around him for a pulse, she feels nothing.
"Mark, please wake up please!" Tears fill her eyes.
"Please Mark I can't lose you, I need you come on," she sobs.

"No no no no no," she whispers repeatedly.
She doesn't even realise, but Luke gets to her side very quickly. After telling the worried team members to carry on with their work.
"Hey, hey breathe Summer. Just breathe," he gently rubs her arms. "Come on, with me. In..." he breathes in, motioning to her do the same "and out," he repeats this a few times.
"I can't lose someone I love like that again," she cries.
"He's okay, he's fine. He's walking back to his garage right now."
"He is?"

"Yes, George is okay," Luke wraps his arms around her.
"What if something bad happened."
"Don't think about that, nothing happened."
"What if our last interaction was basically a fight," she cries.
Luke decides not to ask what she means.
"That's not going to be your last one is it?" He looks her directly in the eye.
"No," she wipes her eyes.
"Go talk to him when you get a chance, okay," Summer just nods in reply "Do you want to go back inside?"
"You go ahead, I'm just gonna sit for a while. You know, fresh air."
"Okay, stay safe," he lightly squeezes her shoulder and when he's certain she's okay he walks back in.
When he's gone her head falls in her hands. Summer takes a deep breath.
"Fuck," she whispers.

-

"Hey," Summer quickly turns her head in the direction of George's voice. "Luke said you had a bit of a moment... after the crash. I came as soon as I could get away," he sits down next to her.
"You didn't have to come... I can't believe he told you. Are you okay, George? That was a big hit."
"I'm okay, I promise," he smiles reassuringly.
Summer shoves him a bit, to show him she's frustrated.
"Don't do that to me again please. I can't lose someone else I love like that," tears start to form in her eyes again. Summer doesn't realise exactly what she said, but it doesn't fly over George's head.
"Hey, you're not gonna lose me," he gently wipes her tears. "Are you okay Summer?"

"I got flashbacks... from the crash."
"Oh Summer," he wraps his arms around her comfortingly "I'm sorry."
"You don't have to be sorry."
"I put you in this position."
"It's not your fault, it's not like you caused the crash. And it's also not your fault I love you."
George smiles as she can't see him.
"Do you want to talk about that and how you said something completely different last night?"
"Not really."
"I don't understand you, why would you say one thing when you mean the other? And why would you say it when that's the one that broke my heart?"
"What?"

"Don't act shocked. Why wouldn't it have? I told you I love you, I layed my heart at your feet, and you said you don't love me back."
"George I'm so sorry," she places her hand on his knee, George quickly responds by removing it.
"Do you love me, yes or no?"
"Yes, but it's more complic-"
"Why does it have to be? If you love me why can't you just be with me?"
"Because if we're not together it would be easier if something were to happen to you."
"Summer that doesn't make sense. Would you really just choose to not be with me, despite loving me, because something might happen to me?"
"Yes."
"Why, I don't understand? You could be with me, be happy with me."
"I am happy George."
"Surely he can't make you happier than the one you love? You could be even happier with me."
"I can't George, I really can't."
"Why are you doing this to me?"
"I'm doing it because I love you."
"No! Don't you understand how you're hurting me?"
"George I have to go."
"They won't miss you for a few minutes more Summer."
"Well what do you want me to say?"
The look on his face is like a look she's never seen on his face.
"Have you not been listening to me... at all? I've told you now that I want you and I've never wanted someone else. What am I supposed to do without you?"
"What you've been doing all this time."
"Summer-"
"George I'm leaving tomorrow,  please understand that."
"No! Have you ever once thought about what I might want? About how this affects me? I've supported you, through everything you've gone through. And the last time you did this I accepted it, because I love you. But I can't do it again. I can't sit here and accept you going off to another man, simply because you're scared. Life works like that, yes I could die, but so can you and so can everyone else. That's part of life and we can't change that. And you can't just leave like that. I know that's not what you really want. We can do this together. You know that we're better off together. And I've waited for you, for so long."
"George-"
"I love you, and you love me, so I don't see why it can't happen."
George looks down at her. He quickly places a hand on her cheek and pulls her closer, connecting their lips. The kiss is salty, and for the first time George realizes that both of them had been crying. He kisses her with more passion than he ever has. Summer is too shocked to react at first, but then she can't help but kiss him back. He pulls away and rests his forehead against hers.

"Why would just throw this away?" He whispers.
"I love you," she whispers and presses her lips against his again.
"Then what's stopping you?"
"Everything."
"Nothing but your own fear. Summer we can be happy. I can be happy. And we can- we can be a family...together."
"You want a family with me?" She smiles.
"Of course I do, I love you," he smiles. "I want to marry you one day, and I want us to have our own little family," his thumb makes small movements on her hand.

"As.. as great as that sounds," she places her hand over his hand, on her cheek "I can't.. not now. Someday.. maybe, but I can't guarantee it. You don't have to wait for me, please don't wait for me. Find someone anyone else, just so long as she makes you happy,"
"I don't want anyone else. How could I? You're perfect."
She gives him a weak smile.
"I guess there's nothing more I can do then," he sighs.
"I'm sorry, I just can't give you what you need. You deserve better than me anyway."
"But all I need is you, I don't expect anything from you. I just want to be able to love you."
"I know George, I know," she sighs.
"There's no changing your mind then?" He looks at her with a hopeful look.
"No."
He stays silent.
"I think it's best we don't see each other again before I leave."
"I suppose it won't make much difference if you're leaving tomorrow," he looks away from her for the first time.
"If you resent me for the rest of your life, I won't blame you."
"I could never," he strokes her cheek with the back of his hand and smiles lovingly at her.

How can he still look at me like I'm his whole world, after everything I've said?

George wraps his arms around her and gently rubs her back. He tries to stop his tears from falling, but fails. He gives her a tight squeeze, like it's the last time he'll ever hug her again. For all he knows it could be.
"Goodbye Summer," he whispers.
"Goodbye George."
"Send my love to your family," he gives her a quick kiss on the cheek and then pulls away.
"And mine to yours."
George looks at her for a few seconds.
"Well I hope you're happy then," he gives her a smile, and somehow Summer can't tell if it's sarcastic or not.
That scares her, she can always read him very well.

George stands up and starts to walk away. He wipes his face, and takes a deep breath.
"Good job sitting away from cameras," he jokes, but doesn't look at her.
When he's just about to walk around the corner he turns and takes one last look at her. He gives her a sad smile and then disappears.

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⏰ Last updated: Jun 30, 2022 ⏰

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