Good Omens One Shots

DEATH

Word Count: 1129
Warnings: well...death. slight gore ig and WWll
hope you enjoy this! Famine and Pollution and then the fifth part to this series "Bikers of the End Times" are coming soon!

He is always there. He never left. Around every corner and behind every twisting scheme. He is neither of Heaven nor of Hell. We call upon him in ways we don't know, things we look at as innocence that is calling him to us, to us, or other people close. Every time we laugh so hard we can't breathe, he's there, every time we walk in that crowded parking lot, he's there, every time the car behind us is on their phone, he's there, every time we choke on our own saliva, he's there. We can never escape him, no matter how hard we try. No one has ever escaped him, no one except God, but She is far beyond our understanding, She is ineffable. Not even the devil himself could escape death. The stars that surround our planet could not escape him. No one ever had. No one ever will. No matter how hard you try, no matter how far we run. He is always there. He never left.

Mesopotamia, 3004 BC

The humans had been warned. Time and time again they had been warned of their bad deeds. They had done bad and they had received punishment, but the bad was beginning to outweigh the good. An angel and a demon were observing the Ark. The one which Noah was instructed to make by God. Death had been notified. Do not ask me how, for I do not know. He had been notified of what was coming. Of plenty of things he was doing. The angel of death was of course assisting him, but Death collected the souls. He did all the dirty work. The angel just sat there and looked pretty. Moral support you could say. Maybe they did a little more than that. They...helped the humans in moral support? Kinda like a death therapist. That's beside the point. Death was waiting patiently for the angel, watching the other angel, the Principality, flirt with a demon. "Death my old friend how are you?"

AZRIEL, OLD FRIEND. I AM AS GOOD AS I CAN BE

"Has anything happened yet? God told me to come down here and help you, that it would be a great fall of the human race. I was confused by what that meant. Oh Lord, hopefully, that doesn't mean...it couldn't mean She meant it was like The Fall. Nothing could compare."

NOTHING OF THE SORT. THE HUMANS WERE ENGAGING TOO MUCH IN EVIL DEEDS SO SHE CALLED TO THE BEST OF THEM AND SHE TOLD HIM TO BUILD AN ARK. TAKE HIS WIFE, HIS SONS, AND THEIR WIVES AND FILL THE ARK WITH TWO OF EVERY ANIMAL. ONE MALE AND ONE FEMALE.

"Well, what is going to happen then?"

SHE WILL DROWN THE REST OF THEM IN A FLOOD. THE GREAT FLOOD.

"I better go out there and console then."

GO.

And so they worked. They worked and God judged and they worked some more. 40 days and 40 nights the flood lasted. All of the souls they had to collect, all of the time. But time moved with them. Not an enemy. A friend.

Golgotha, 33 AD

Azriel didn't bother to show up. "Too sad," they claimed. "He's fully God," they said, "he'll be fine." Death felt bad for the poor boy. Fully God sure, but God had never experienced death before, and Jesus was also fully man. Death didn't know how to comfort the poor guy when he died. He hated this job and knew this was the worst one he would ever do. I mean, he felt bad for the guy, and plus what kind of job is it when the guy is just going to resurrect in 3 days. Regardless he did the job, and it seemed to go well enough.

I DON'T GET PAID ENOUGH FOR THIS.

Jesus had kindly thanked Death for coming and told him that he wouldn't need him for another three days. It seemed the lad knew what he was doing, so in three days Death came back and send him on his way to Heaven three days later.

France, 1793

Death had sure been sent to work. So many white clothes stained red around the neck. So much cake. Yes, you read that right. Cake. The Parisians were mad to say the least. Going around cutting off peoples heads like they were going to the movies. Mob Mentality you could call it. He heard a whooshing noise and couldn't help the smile. So maybe he had become a little attached to the angel over the years.

AZRIEL.

"Hello, old friend. It's been a while."

ON THE CONTRARY, IT HASN'T BEEN LONG ENOUGH.

"What does that mean?" Oops. Death regretted what he said. He hadn't meant it like that.

I JUST MEAN THAT I HATE TOO SEE THE HUMANS DIE. I ALWAYS LOVE TO SEE YOU.

"Oh. That's sweet of you." They both heard the sound of flesh breaking and bone cracking as the blade came down on the next victims neck. Azriel flinched and Death hated it.  They continued working side by side, and in all truth Death enjoyed it. The souls they collected found it strange, but Death was happy.

1941

When Azriel showed, they were crying. Deaths heart ached at the sight. What could make them cry like that? Oh right.

ARE YOU OKAY?

"No! How could I be okay? Why are humans so mean? Why?" Death surged forward and did something he had never done before. Never in the history of his life. He hugged someone. He hugged Azriel. Azriel hugged themselves tightly to Deaths chest, imagining that they could see the stars he held inside his heart. "They we're loyal to God. How could that rude man hurt them like this?"

THATS EXACTLY WHY HE HURT THEM. THEY HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING, AND HE SEES THAT AS A THREAT. DON'T LET EVIL HUMANS GET IN THE WAY OF WHAT TRULY MATTERS. IN THE END YOU WILL HELP THEM COPE AND THEY WILL BE GRATEFUL TO YOU.

"Thank you, Death." So the two of them went around comforting  people who had died, and for the first time it made Azriel feel better and not worse.

The years passed and it was time for the end. Death was sure in his job, as long as he got to spend time with Azriel, Famine, Pollution, and War. He wasn't sure what would happen to him after the Great War, but he was devoted enough to his job that he went to start riding anyway.

DON'T THINK OF IT AS DYING, THINK OF IT AS LEAVING EARLY TO AVOID THE RUSH.

He tried to comfort Leslie the best he could.

He tried to comfort Leslie like Azriel would have.