Fifty Shades of Gay (fluff)

A request turned crack-fic

Takes place after delicate flower godhome ending. Everyone but Ghost and Godseeker is still alive. Reader is a non hollow vessel. Fluffy friendship times.

Hornet sprinted through the crossroads, heading up into Dirtmouth. This scavenging mission had netted quite a few finds, most fairly valuable. She didn't care for material possessions, but others did, and they could give her geo she could spend on more important things. Such as gifts for special people. The weaver threw her needle, leaping up the well into the little town known as Dirtmouth.

Lace sat on the bench, next to a rather frail looking elder. She twirled her pin around, idly waiting for Hornet to come back from her mission. She only had to take 3 more minutes, and Lace would win the bet. Much to her chagrin, Hornet popped out of the well, panting slightly, and joined Lace on the bench.

"So little spider... Did you get what we agreed on? You beat my time..." Hornet triumphantly pulled a Hallownest seal out of the seemingly infinite pockets in her huntress' cloak. Lace sighed, not at all wanting to admit how impressive that was, considering the timeframe.

"Found some other things too, Lace. A wanderers' journal... And here I have a King's Idol too. We can drop these off by Lemm on our way to the Blue Lake."

"Ooh, yes, that..." Hornet snorted, poking her.

"Did you actually forget?"

"Of course I didn't, little spider!" Lace had forgotten, but Hornet didn't need to know that. Hornet rose off the bench, taking Lace's hand.

"C'mon, we can ride the stagways." Lace didn't like the stagways. They were jarring and bumpy rides, but Lace was willing to endure them for her friends.

Tiso and Quirrel walked through the crossroads, planning to take the tram to the resting grounds, and getting to the lake that way. Tiso had his shield readied, and Quirrel had his nail to cut away the dead infection vines and fend off and vengflies that had a problem with them.

"How dare these lowly creatures attack me. Don't they know of my skill?" Tiso hissed, cutting a vengefly in half with the hidden blades in the shield.

Quirrel grabbed Tiso by the arm, yanking him out of the way of an explosion. The infection had died, but the few carriers still had to be killed. They were now at the tram station, and went inside. Quirrel inserted the pass he had 'borrowed' from Deepnest, and the tram creaked as it started them on their joureny to the Resting Grounds.

The vessel sat at the edge of the lake, dipping their legs in the cooling blue tinged water. Their sibling had ended the infection, saving all of Hallownest. They didn't think they were heroic. All they had was a pointy stick and an ability to fire a weak soul missile. The vessel heard footsteps behind them, and turned to see their friend and their sibling, Hornet and Lace.

"Hello, Y/n. I hope our little bet didn't have you waiting so long?" They shook their horned head, and came out of the water, small amounts of void dripping off along with the water. Waddling up to Hornet, they grabbed and hugged her.

Lace simply stood there awkwardly.

"So, what are we going to do, void child? Maybe you could test your skills against me in combat." They shook their head, and mimed swimming.

"A race then?" Hornet sighed.

"You're like Tiso, turning everything into a competition."

"So? Competitions are fun, little spider. Are you afraid of losing?" Lace flashed a smirk at Hornet. Hornet set her needle down, and looked Lace in her eyes.

"Bring it, Lace."

Tiso got off the tram first, dizzy and feeling rather queasy from the ride.

"Tiso? Are you okay?" Quirrel tried to help him walk, but Tiso brushed him aside.

"I have vanquished greater foes than this... wobbly feeling." Tiso walked down the hall, looking like he'd had one too many drinks, and Quirrel had to hold himself back from laughing.

The vessel sat at the edge of the water, filled with silent laughter. The race had deteriorated into a splash fight, inevitably. They jumped into the water, sending a rather large wave over the two, and surfaced.

"Y/n! That was cold!" They simply wriggled, and splashed their sibling again.

Quirrel arrived at the lake to see Lace, Hornet, and Y/n in a splash battle, weapons laid on the edge. Not a moment later, Y/n had swam to the edge and splashed him.

"Hey!" They did it again, and tried to pull him into the water. They ended up succeeding, splashing Tiso who was just behind him. He did not look amused, setting his shield down on the ground near the edge, and hopping into the water.

What happened next could only be described as chaos. For just a few minutes, (that seemed like hours), bugs were splashing and dunking one another left and right. Tiso had a particularly bad time, as he was the worst at staying afloat and frequently got water dumped on his hood, making it droop in front of his eyes.

The little vessel took particular joy in giving everyone their daily dose of dunking. Soon, everyone was tired, and they practically crawled out of the water. On the way out, Quirrel pointed to something on Tiso's leg.

"Is that a piece of seaweed...?"

"Ew!" Tiso swiped it off into the water, cringing.

"Our 'great warrior' is afraid of seaweed?" Hornet snorted.

"Shut up." Tiso grabbed his shield and more or less sulked by Quirrel's side. The vessel climbed out of the water and flopped down beside everyone, tired from the duel.

They wanted to do this again, most certainly.

I'M SORRY HORNET BEAN I TRIED IT JUST DEVOLVED INTO CRACK-FIC-

A request from  @__SILKSONG__