XIII

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On Sunday afternoon we started to pack up again to leave. We spent all day Saturday handing out at the beach and on the board walk. As I loaded our suitcases into the back of the truck Max walked over with a sad look on his face. "Max you look to woebegone."

"What does woebegone mean?" He asked me.

"You look sad." I said rephrasing it.

"I just don't want to leave. I felt like I escaped me problems this weekend but they're right around the corner waiting for me." He said getting in the truck. I walked around and got in the other side.

"You're so melancholy sometimes Max, won't you tell me what's wrong?" I asked as he started the truck.

"How many words do you know for sadness?" He asked as he started driving.

"A lot, but that's besides the point-"

"Name them all. I love to hear you talk nerdy." He said. The omg reaso I knew so many was because I was trying to find a way to describe Max, I never did find the perfect one.

"Blue, dejected, despondent, destroyed, disconsolate, dismal, dispirited, doleful, dolorous, down and out, down in the dumps, down in the mouth, down, downbeat, downcast, downhearted, dragged, droopy, funereal, gloomy, glum, grim, heavyhearted, blue funk, joyless, lachrymose, low, low-spirited, lugubrious, mirthless, miserable, moody, moony, mournful, pensive, saddened, saddening, somber, sorrowful, torn up, trite, unhappy, wistful, woebegone, woeful. There's more but I'm not saying them all."

"Blue funk?" He asked me.

I nodded, "I think that one describes you the best." I said looking out the window. "It means in a state of depression. I like it though because it sounds better than 'I'm depressed.' wouldn't you much rather say, 'I'm in a blue funk.'?" I asked him.

He looked over at me for a second before turning back to face forward. He smiled and then it turned into a grin, "Blue funk... I like the way it rolls off my tongue. Much better than depressed."

"It is." I said looking over at him. I couldn't help but stare at him. While he was smiling his face was even brighter than it was before. When Max was smiling, a real genuine smile, I knew that he was happy. Even if it was just for a moment.

***

When we got back to Las Vegas Max told me he didn't want to go home. "All my problems are at home Wynter. I don't want to go home just yet."

I thought about the pile of homework sitting at home on my bed, then I decided Max came before that. I had never done well in school, I don't think one more C would ruin my life. I remembered when I got a B in my sophomore year and my math teacher said, "Wynter Hill, I never thought you'd be able to do it." I felt conflicted feeling after that. It's not that I wasn't smart, I just forgot to turn things in or didn't have time to do them. If I applied myself I could probably get A's. Max always got A's.

"Where are we going?" I asked him. He continued driving.

"I don't know. I wish we lived by the mountains." He said.

"Like in Colorado?" I asked him. He nodded, "Why?" I asked.

"We could go in the mountains, or the forest. Here we just have sand and desert around us. We aren't even lucky enough to get the ocean. We get The Strip, and we can't even enjoy that until we're twenty-one." He said sighing softly. "When we're older let's live together in the mountains."

"I would love that." I said. We drove for a few minutes more until we got to a place on the outskirts of town where a lot of desert Palm trees grew. He parked the truck on the side of the road.

"Come on." He said getting out of the truck. I got out and walked around the truck over to him. He grabbed my hand and lead me into the grove of trees. The ground was rocky and sandy and it was on a slight hill. Once in the middle of the grove of trees there was a little opening.

"This place is cool." I said. I walked out into the small opening and sat down on the ground. Max came and joined me, wrapping his arms around me.

"I love you, you know that right?" He asked me. I nodded and closed my eyes. "Good." He said kissing my cheek.

"How'd you find out about this place?" I asked him.

He laughed and looked around, "Let's just say after Micheal died I went on a lot of walks." He said.

"This is like three miles from your house." I pointed out.

"I had a lot of time." He said laughing. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my neck. I got chills as he did. Max was so warm and I kind of melted into his kissing actions. His wandering hands made their way down my body too my stomach and slowly went up under my sweatshirt. I was about to say something when my phone rang, scaring us both.

I pulled my phone out of my pocket and it was Isabel. Max moved his arms away from me as I answered the call. "Hello?"

"Wynter! Where the hell have you been? I've been looking all ove Vegas for you." She said.

"I've been in San Diego with Max." I said, I guess that must've sparked her interest.

"What might you be doing in San Diego?" She asked. I could almost see the suggestive eyebrow wiggle.

"Why were you looking for me?" I asked her.

"It's about Max." She said. I glanced over at Max who was now examining a lose thread from his jacket.

"What is it?" I asked.

"I heard, from Brad, that Max had to go talk to the consolers. He threatened to take his life and... I just thought you should know. Since you two are friends again." She said. For once Isabel seemed calm and caring, it was rathe in Isabel like.

"Okay... I'm with him now." I said glancing back at Max.

"I have to go!" Said Isabel, back in her own cheerful voice. "Bye!" Then she hung up. I put my phone in my pocket then turned to Max.

"Isabel told me about your talk with the consoling center in January." I said too him.

"Brad misunderstood me." He said. His gaze was shifted down so I couldn't read his expression. "He told them I was going too commit suicide, when that's not what I said at all."

I felt a feeling of guilt and pain that Max was planning to commit suicide. I bet it was all my fault too. For once I was thankful for what Brad did. After I instantly threw myself in Max's arms and started crying, I didn't know
What came over me. The thought of losing Max scared me.

"Max, don't ever kill yourself. I love you too damn much, Max. Promise me." I said.

"Usually I'm the emotional one." He said as he hugged me. He waited until I was done crying then told me we should go. He never promised.

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