Red Vs Blue: Agent New Jersey: The Blood Gulch Chronicles

S1E8: Don't Ph34r the Reaper

We see Grif and Simmons staring at the tank, as the turret aims and Grif and then at Simmons.

Grif: "Why is it just sitting there?"

Simmons: "Just trying to mess with our heads. Let's get back to the Warthog."

We now cut to Sheila's hud.

Sheila: "This tank is equipped with an auto-fire sequence that can be activated by pressing the auto-fire button."

Caboose: "Auto-fire, auto-fire, here, here! No, wait... okay, that's more a switch than a button..."

Sheila: (in the background) "This will end the tutorial, and should only be activated if proper safety procedures-"

We cut back to Grif and Simmons.

Simmons: "Okay, you ready? Let's do this on three. One..."

Grif: "Wait. On three? Or three and then go?"

Simmons: "On three. It's always faster to go on three."

Grif: "Okay, okay. On three."

We cut back to Sheila's hud.

Caboose: "Here!" We hear a click sound.

Sheila: "Tutorial deactivated. Auto-fire sequence activated."

Back to Simmons.

Simmons: "Ready?"

Back to Sheila's hud.

Sheila: "Acquiring target."

We now see Church and Tucker.

Church: "I'm going for the jeep and Carmine. Cover me."

Back to Simmons and Grif. Grif is slowly walking backwards.

Simmons: "One..."

Grif immediately turns around and starts sprinting towards the Warthog and Carmine. Carmine turns towards the noise and sees the tank's barrel following Grif.

Carmine: "Shit. Ready to do this, Z?" Zeta appears over Carmine's shoulder.

Zeta: "Ready when you are, pal."

Carmine: "Just say the word."

Back to Sheila's hud.

Sheila: "Target acquired."

We cut to Grif running away.

Grif: "Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit..."

Back to Simmons.

Simmons: "Two..."

Back to Sheila.

Sheila: "Target locked."

We cut to Church who's making a a mad dash to the Warthog, panting heavily before cutting back to Simmons.

Simmons: "Three!" He turns around to see Grif has already run away. "Oh, you back-stabbing cock bite!"

Sheila: "Firing main canon."

Zeta: "Now!"

Sheila's canon fires at the Warthog, blowing it up. Normally, an explosion like this would kill someone, but Carmine was able to activate his Armor Lock, saving his life.

Cut to Simmons who crouches down near Sheila.

Simmons: "Son of a bitch!"

Grif: "Son of a bitch!"

Church: "Son of a bitch!"

Sheila: "Firing main canon."

Simmons: "Shit!"

Sheila fires.

Simmons: "Son of a bitch! God..."

Sheila: "Firing main canon."

Simmons: "...dammit!"

Sheila fires again.

Sheila: "Firing main canon." Sheila fires again.

We cut to Church and Carmine running up to Tucker.

Tucker: "Hey dude, the jeep blew up."

Church: "No kidding. Thanks for the update, Tucker." Church than turns to Carmine. "How the fuck are you still alive?"

Carmine shrugs, smirking under his helmet.

Carmine: "Guess I'm just lucky. Maybe the blast was far enough away that I wasn't hit by it."

We cut to Grif and Simmons who are hiding behind a rock.

Sheila: "Firing main canon." Sheila fires, hitting the rock.

Simmons: "Hey, I have a GREAT idea. Let's get out of the jeep and sneak around the back of the rock."

Sheila: "Firing main canon." She fires.

Simmons: "Great plan, you idiot!"

We cut to Sheila's hud.

Sheila: "All targets eliminated. Acquiring new target." Her crosshair starts aiming up and to the left.

We cut back to Church and Tucker standing in an opening looking down towards the tank while Carmine stands a few feet away.

Church: "Hey, Tucker, look at this, man - it's the rookie! And he brought tank out to scare off the reds."

Tucker: "What? No way!"

Church: "Hey, rookie! Good job, man! Why didn't you tell us you knew how to drive the tank?"

Sheila: "New target acquired." The turret starts spinning around to the cliff side. It eventually aims at Church.

Caboose: "That's not a target. That's Church!"

Church: "Yeah, that's right, it's me, Church! What's going on, man?"

Sheila: "Target locked."

Caboose: "What!? No! Target unlock! Unlock! Please help me, nice lady!"

Sheila: "Firing main canon."

Caboose: "Uh oh..."

We cut to Tucker.

Tucker: "Uh oh..."

We cut to Carmine.

Carmine: "Uh oh..."

We cut to Church.

Church: "What? ..Oh, son of a bi-"

Sheila's canon fires, hitting Church and launching him into the air. He hits the rock face and lands on the edge. We now cut to Tucker and Carmine.

Tucker: "Holy fuck! Church, are you okay? Talk to me! Church!"

We cut back to Sheila with Tucker and Carmine visible in the distance.

Tucker: "You shot Church, you team-killing fucktard!"

Sheila: "Auto-fire sequence deactivated."

Church: "Tucker! ...T-Tucker!"

Tucker: "Church! It's going to be okay, man"

Carmine: "No it fucking isn't. He just took a tank shell to the chest. In Layman's terms, he's fucked."

Church: "Carmine's r-right. Ah... I'm na-I'm not gonna make it. Tucker... there's something I need to tell you."

Tucker: "What is it?"

Church: "I just want you to know.. I always hated you. I always hated you the most."

Tucker: "Yeah, I know you did. Now hurry up and die, you prick."

Church: "Okay. Herk!...Bleah..."

Carmine: (thoughts) "Alright, Alpha. Lets see where this goes from here."