The Scholarship || DREAMNOTFOUND

Chapter 10 (Sapnap) ✔︎

ever since dream lost his parents 7 years ago,
it's just been him and his own mind
until me and my family took him in

back then— when my parents had heard about what happened to his family,
they promised to take care of him as their own
they even went as far as to rent two separate apartments across from one another when we both had turned 16—
one for me and dream to live in on our own—
and one for my parents and siblings—

since he was little—
since i met him—
he never cried, not even on that night of his parents car crash— it was just the same upbeat happy dream that everyone knew and loved
he didn't cry, he didn't shed a tear
it was almost like he didn't want to cry
at least not in front of me or anyone else

but that all changed after a few months of our parents getting our apartment together

—

5 Years ago

"dream? are you coming to school today? "
as i opened his room door, i could see that he wasn't in his bedroom
i heard the water running from the guest bathroom and walked over to see the light turned on from the bottom of the door
my knuckles lightly tapped on the bathroom door
" dream? "

" what's up sapnap?"
his voice sounded hoarse.. and shaky

" are you coming to school today? "

" y-yeah i'm probably going to be a few minutes late though,
i have something to take care of at work right now and it'll probably take me a while—
but you go on ahead without me i'll be alright "

i hesitated answering for a while,
something just didn't feel right with him— but i knew deep down he would never tell me
his voice came through the door once more
" oh! and can you tell your mom that i'll pay her next week please? "

i rolled my eyes
" dude.. my mom already told you to stop paying her and to save that money for yourself—
you shouldn't even have a job right now man—
your supposed to be at school—
studying for your future—
that's all everyone wants from you, is to just focus on your future with no worries "

he didn't say anything at first, but i heard the sink faucet turn off
i sighed in annoyance
" do what you want man—
your ultimately just stressing yourself out for nothing and sooner or later it's going to kill you—"
his fist collided with the bathroom counter, making a loud bang noise that made me jump

" you don't know anything sapnap! alright?! "

i grit my teeth in anger and i also collided my fist with the bathroom door
" i would if you just tell me!"

" NO! "
he screams back at me

" fine then! forgive me for just trying to be a good friend! "
my tone came out sarcastic and cold, deep down i felt guilty for saying everything
but i ignored it
letting my annoyance and anger take over me as i stormed out of our apartment and driving directly towards the school without saying goodbye to him or anyone else

—

2 Hours Later

as the teacher took attendance for everyone
my gaze turned to the seat behind me—
he still hasn't come to school

꧁ ✔️ ꧂ Crying for Rain (slowed + reverb)

a wave of guilt washed over me as i remembered our conversation this morning
"i should've just minded my business.. it's his life not mine—
but i just want him to rely on me—
like i rely on him— "

back in middle school is when i met dream
he was being picked on by some bullies and the dude was actually letting them—
i remember storming up and beating those two guys until they started whining to their mommies
" why can't you just defend yourself dream?—
you're letting them be mean to you!— "

" i know i am sapnap, it's not that i can't defend myself"

" then what is it man "

" because i have no idea what my actions can cause them to do— "

i remember looking at him confused as i rolled my eyes i annoyance.. but deep down his words made me feel—
a sense of awe

" they're both already hurting a bit deep down, and if i added onto that just because they don't like me?
then i wouldn't be able to call myself a human—"

he said as a gentle smile spread across his face, feeling my cheeks get warm at the sight
i had always admired him as a person—
i had always admired his kindness towards others even when he was dealing with his own problems at the time—
i wanted to be just like him

—

as i shut the door to my car, i walked up the stairs that led to our apartment
i had tried to get a hold of dream because it was already lunch time and he hadn't showed up to school yet
something was wrong

my keys jingled as i went to open our door,
when i heard a large crash coming from in the house—
followed by a loud screaming
"DREAM?! " i yelled as i fumbled to open the door
and when i did manage to open that door
my heart dropped and i instantly screamed

my best friend was in the middle of the living room laying in a pool of his own blood
his skin was grey and his body was drenched in sweat

i ran to him and held him in my arms—
noticing immediately that the blood was coming from his mouth
his blood staining my clothes as i tried listen for his breathing
i began to cry as i heard the faintest sound of life coming from him
" MOM! " i yelled through my tears as i hugged my best friends body

" OH MY GOD WHAT HAPPENED SAPNAP?!"
my mom yells as she runs over to the both of us,
i couldn't say anything through my tears and screams
she pulls out her phone as she begins to call for ambulance

i couldn't stop crying—
i couldn't stop shaking—
i couldn't stop sobbing—

a sudden touch brushes my tear stained cheek as i opened my eyes—
my eyes met his, he was smiling faintly
" dream? " i sobbed

he nuzzles his head onto my chest—
his hand lightly gripping my shoulder—
i could see tears begin to stream down his face
" you.. were right "
i move his hair away from his face with my hand as i cupped his face
" what do you mean dream?.. "

his lip quivered as he tried to hold back his tears, but was unsuccessful
" it.. killed me "

my heart instantly shattered as i remembered what i had said this morning to him
" your ultimately just stressing yourself out for nothing and sooner or later it's going to kill you—"
his grip becomes weaker as his hand slides down my arm
" i'm.. sorry "

that afternoon—
the ambulance took him away, my parents didn't let me see him in the hospital no matter how many times i asked
and they never told me what had caused all of this to happen
and when he came back from the hospital,
he also didn't tell me either

he quit his job after that and focused on school more—
stopped giving my mom money—
and he began to rely on us a bit more
which i am grateful for.. but the question still lingers in my mind— even to this day

" what happened to Dream? "

|| To be continued... ||