13. We Can't Take Much More Of This

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Tanya

As I take the secured elevator up to the White House residence, my mind wanders. I've seen different versions of it in countless movies, even took a tour last year- but I've never been given the freedom to go wherever I wanted or access to the president's private quarters without him there. This elevator alone is highly guarded- since it leads into "my" living room( saying it out loud or in my head doesn't feel real yet).

Two agents are stationed at the bottom to ensure those in the west wing without access don't wander somewhere they're not supposed to, there's an access code, and two agents also stationed in my living room at all times.

I'm never gonna have privacy ever again, I think to myself.

When we reach the living room, Agent Wei and I step into it. She stays behind to discuss security measures with the other agents, and I step around the corner into the room that turns out to be bigger than I remember- which is saying a lot.

At the farthest end of the room, behind bulletproof glass, we have a clear view of the chaos at the capital building. Some parts are still up in flames, and while we can't tell if firefighters have decided to let it burn out naturally or fight it with every resource and man they've got- I'd guess the latter. My daughter stands there now, the two way glass( the side facing out being extremely reflective) protecting her from the gaze of bystanders. And boy there are a lot now- trying to catch even a glimpse of me. I contemplate asking Agent Wei to let me out so I can talk to them- interact with the people I'm supposed to be leading, but then decide against it, knowing she'd say no.

Instead I go to stand by my daughter. The look on her face is unmistakable: one of pure fear. It's the same one I've observed on lower level staff's and reporters faces on the many TV sets present throughout the west wing. This fear I've tried to hold back- fear of the unknown, has spread throughout the country like wildfire. People are- rightfully so, fucking terrified that I am holding the office of president of the United States.

  I try to put myself into the average citizens shoes: You're relaxing, watching the first presidential and congressional inauguration combo in history, maybe stuffing your face with takeout, and then all of a sudden there's a loud blast and the tv screen goes black. A few seconds, it comes back on- only now the feed is coming from a studio, a panicked news reporters who wasn't prepared for this trying their best to articulate what they know- which is virtually nothing.

  Maybe your family is crowded on the same couch together, waiting for updates like their own lives depend on it- and then they hear the second blast and know things are really fucked.

  Soon after, that same news reporter tells them that a freshman congresswoman is the acting president of the United States. They call their friends, and the words "Are you watching the news right now?" Are uttered at the same time.

  You stand in the corner, wondering what your future will be like and unsure of the country's.

  And there is nothing I can do to make anybody feel better. Me being alive was good news, but not good enough. People just want to know about the president. Eagle eyed people spotted him whisper something to his head of security and leave to go to the bathroom. Only reason I didn't was because the cafeteria didn't have TV's- they were all down for maintenance.

  It makes me wonder for a second if.... No. There's no way. He wouldn't be involved in something like that.

  "How are you handling.... All of this?" I ask.

  "Well I'm definitely taking advantage of the vending machine in our living room." She gestures to the two candy wrappers on the windowsill. "What about you? Can't be easy getting..... shoved into the White House like that."

  "No but I'm..... I feel like I'm handling this well? As well as I can at least-"

  "Madam President-" Agent Wei peaks her head around the corner. "The Iranian ambassador is here. He said he'd like to speak to you in person."

  "Yeah, just a second."

  "No it's fine mom- I'm tired anyways." Katie says, taking the subtle social que to go away in nicer wording. She grabs the wrappers, tosses them in the tiny trash can- and walks to what is apparently her bedroom.

  I gesture for Her to let him up.

  About a minute later, the elevator doors open and he steps out. I put on a professional and serious- yet friendly facade.

  "Mr.Ambassador- I wish we were meeting under more pleasant circumstances." I make sure I smile- but not too wide, so he doesn't think I'm happy about being here.

  "As do I." He replies. "I'll make this quick since I assume you are extremely busy. My government is prepared to offer its full support. If there is anything you need- resources, men and women to help with the search effort, extra investigative agents to help in finding who did this- we will provide just that."

  "Well that is.... very generous but I believe we have it under control." I state.

  "Very well then- promise me one thing."

  "Sure?"

  "That you will take me up on that offer at the first sign of needing any extra help." He raises both eyebrows. I nod.

  "Of course, Mr.Ambassador. Thank you." Behind him, Agent Wei is gesturing to her watch and phone.

  Great.

  I walk him back to the elevator, and with an exasperated sigh- ask what happened this time.

  "You are needed in command opps now. They said it's extremely urgent."

  She nearly drags me to the elevator the second she finished walking and I don't protest. In a west wing hallway, I nearly slam into Melissa and Walter- who are also taking advantage of the vending machine and stress eating.

"What happened?" I ask when we finally get to command opps, sweating.

"They found another bomb."

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