A barista in a café stumbles over a black-haired artist often ordering the same: a cup of plain black coffee.
When she ventures to enter his life, who makes her heart flutter like no other, life slaps back with a "not too fast". She discovers his s...
❝You can love her with everything you have, and she still wont belong to you.❞
20
BEGGING 物乞い
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. . .
My question was answered quicker than I expected.
He knocked on the door, and I opened it a minute later after I had taken multiple breaths and assured myself I could take the next blow. I was uncaring to hide my makeup-smudged face, not that I used a lot of it. Only enough to hide my eyebags before I met him.
“Coward,” was the first word I said. “How dare you do this to me?” I pointed to myself. “To her?” I pointed to the door and sniffed.
A wave of fatigue hit my body, and I fell to the floor. Blake switched on the lights in no time. Shame contoured his face once he could see me. In seconds, he pulled me into his arms and embraced me tightly. I fought my way out of his arms, but he wasn’t letting me go.
“Cassandra, I couldn’t go anywhere further with her as you imagine. I didn’t want any of this to happen. I’m so fucking sorry!”
“Fuck off me!” I cried out. “You filthy crap, don’t touch me!”
He didn’t listen. He kept mumbling sorries and embraced me even tighter as though it helped until I gave up fighting and calmed down.
“You broke me,” I whispered in his arms, body sprawled all over. My voice barely came out.
“I’m sorry.”
God, I was getting weary by his repeated, meaningless apologies. “Suck it.”
I gathered my left bits of energy and stood up. Although my body was fragile, shaky, and I feared falling sick again and going back to square one, I didn’t want to rest in his arms for any extra second. They felt like poison to my rationality. He made me want to tug on my hair.
“Can I at least take you home?”
“No.”
My body betrayed me and almost fell again. It felt like a worst-case scenario to get that weak around him. He wasn’t supposed to find any chance to get close to me, yet there it was, serving itself to him on a silver plate. Was my body trying to tell me something? That was all uncalled for. I leaned on the wall for support.
He quickly rushed to my aid. “I will not take no for an answer.”
\
As much as I hated to admit it, I wasn’t sure if I could make it home without his assistance.
Blake ushered me until my bed without a single complaint, kneeled to take off my shoes as he once did and got me a glass of juice to boost up my energy. I wasn’t even in favour of thanking him, however.
He sat on the edge of my bed when I finally lied down on it. “Do you need anything else?”
I looked away to avoid eye contact. “You to leave.”
He flinched at my harshness. “I will.” He sighed. “Can I tell you something, though?”
“What?” I spat and sat up.
Blake came closer, looked at me tenderly and tried to hold my hand, but I swatted his hand away. He licked his lips and looked everywhere but into my eyes. “I don’t think I can keep it up with Emily,” he started.
Although the statement left me intrigued, I couldn’t show it. “Why do I need to know that?”
Blake finally looked me in the eye, and I couldn’t look away in anticipation. “The way I allowed myself to be with you… tells a lot about why I can’t be with her. We don’t feel right anymore.”
I glared. “So you’re telling me you don’t regret cheating?”
“I regret cheating, but I don’t regret being with you.” He looked away shamefully. “I’m sorry.”
His apology could hold many meanings. He could be sorry because he never wanted to be associated with me anymore, or because of what wrongdoing we had done. And a small chance he was sorry for hurting my feelings.
I stayed still, waiting for him to say what he came to say.
“I still like you.”
He said it again, and my heart twinged with it, along with my stomach that churned abnormally with a party of butterflies. That wasn’t right to feel. I inhaled a sharp intake of air. What in hell was that effect he had on me? It was like falling in love for the first time, except I still didn’t know what my feelings for him were defined as.
“I never wanted it to happen that way. You deserve better… a better man who’d treat you as you deserve, and not as I did.”
My body hair was standing on my skin by that limit, and my jaw clenched. Was he saying goodbye? I was shaking slightly in impatience. The what-ifs were giving me a headache.
“Cassandra, I wanna be a better man for you,” he said and tried to hug me.
I was stiff. My arms felt too heavy to move and respond to him. “Let me go,” I requested, injecting as much composure as I could in my tone.
He obeyed. “It’s alright. I don’t expect much. I’ll respect your will and stay away from you if that’s what you want, but I’m saying this because I can’t afford to lose you. I’ll do anything and everything, Cassandra, but I’ll also give you time.”
When he left, I cried myself to sleep.
. . .
who's still reading, raise your hand and tell me your thots ✌
do you think these two can end up together? is it possible?
