Spotlights and Symphonies

Compromise

     We were about to leave the Holland's house. If we weren't convinced enough that Nikki was the nicest person alive, she hugged Anna and I each before we left. She also had us exchange phone numbers 'incase of any emergencies' (she seemed very worried about Anna's ankle) 'or if you simply want to escape the boys'. Confident we'd never have the need to call her we thanked her anyway. Dom and Paddy said goodbye and we thanked them as well.

     As I was walking out the door I heard Tom speaking to his parents.

     "Thanks mum. You were right, this really helped." I stopped myself from looking back at them. Force of habit. That would be very invasive.

     "Of course it did. Next time you come you'll have to tell me what happened. Remember: you can come home anytime." I could hear the sincerity in Nikki's voice. It reminded me of my parents when they called while I was away at college.

     "Yeah! You might be a big shot now but you still need your family movie-star!" Dom called out from inside the house. Tom scoffed from behind me.

     "Love you guys. Bye Padster." I could feel Tom was closer now. We got into the car and drove off, Tom waving out the window.

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     It was 10:00pm and I wasn't too tired. Harry proposed having a campfire which everyone agreed to, some more reluctant than others. Anna went upstairs to change and plug in her phone, Tom went upstairs for a bit too as Harry started the fire. Haz and I 'helped' by sitting and watching Harry get supplies and fail to ignite a flame multiple times.

     "I hope the dinner wasn't too weird for you?" Haz asked.

     "No not at all. I was a bit worried before-hand but everyone was so welcoming and sweet!" I answered honestly.

     "Good. Yeah the Hollands have a talent for that. Making you feel like part of the family. Despite Tom perhaps not seeming that way at first." That... sort of sounded like he was insinuating to Tom and I's quarrel this morning. "He's a nice bloke, just not doing so great at the moment."

     "He's been amazing so far!" I don't entirely disagree with my statement, but Harrison gives me a knowing smile and I let out a small laugh. "He must be very nice though, or at the bare minimum charming, to have become famous." His smile started to fade and he nodded his head while looking at the un-lit wood.

     "I suppose it'd be easier if he was an asshole. But no, he's genuinely one of the nicest people I've ever met; why he's my best mate." He picked up a stick and was poking at the ash.

     "If you don't mind me asking... what do you mean 'easier'?" I kept my eyes on him. After a short pause and small sigh he started again.

     "He's my best mate, and I love him. I really do wish the best for him, truly. Its just..." He's struggling explaining his thoughts. "When you're in the same career as someone, even if they're your mate, I feel like there's always a level of... not competition but..." I nodded, encouraging him to continue. "I don't even know. Cause, it's not that I want to see him fail - not at all. I- I just wonder sometimes what he has that I don't? You know? Not in a 'why does he get everything' type of way. Just a 'am I not good enough' type of thing..."

     "Harrison..." I feel compelled to comfort him. I reach out and touch his shoulder. I see him smile a bit as if to say thanks. However, it could totally be fake, simply doing it to be polite. Taking my hand off I think about if I should say what's really going through my head or not. It might at least help him feel not as alone? "I know what you mean. Anna has been singing since she was eight or something and I've always wanted to be able to. Plus going into the music industry it would be really helpful... So I always wished I could've had her gift. Like, if she's not going to use it to go professional why couldn't I have gotten her ability?" He was looking at me for the first time in our conversation. I could see the sympathy and understanding in his expression. "But I'm not envious. I'm happy for her and when I hear her sing I'm always thinking how beautiful she sounds and how far she's come. I know what you mean. Its hard to describe." He gave me a little smile when I finished. "Maybe that's a bad comparison..."

     "No, its nice to hear someone else has the same feelings." We heard laughing coming from the house. Looking through the large, illuminated sliding-door windows we see Tom helping Anna into the kitchen and setting her on a stool while he opens the fridge. "He's so compassionate and kind. Probably saved me more times than I care to admit. So grateful for that perfect bastard." Haz said still staring at the pair inside. We laughed at his closing statement. I'm surprised we share such a deep insecurity. And even more surprised we had a conversation about it. But I'm glad we got closer.

     "I cant believe I was so cautious about you a day ago." Haz looked back at me, a soft smile on his face. "You really came to the rescue, I don't know what we would've done without your kindness," I'm not sure if he'd consider me a friend but I felt that way about him. I never had many guy friends but I think this is exactly what they're supposed to feel like.

     "Awe," he set the stick down and stood up, opening his arms offering a hug. Usually I'm not too touchy-feely but something about Harrison was comforting. I got up and hugged him back. "I'm so glad I met you girls, you're both so wonderful". We broke the hug just as Tom, Anna and Harry were coming out holding champagne glasses.

     "Erm, sorry to interrupt?" Tom said as he approached brows furrowed. He motioned for me to take a glass. "Thought we might have some drinks..." he seem dumbfounded by our actions. "We weren't sure if anyone actually wanted to drink though so it's just sparkling water". Haz took a glass from Anna and held it out slightly.

     "To friends... and safe travels?" I think even he acknowledged that that was a bit cringey, but the sentiments were noted. We all clinked glasses and took a sip. We sat in the Adirondack chairs littered around the fire pit. A breeze drifted through sending a shiver across my body.

     "Harry how have you still not lit this yet? It's been like ten minutes?" Tom ridiculed his brother. He went inside and came back a minute later. Talking to Anna, I jumped as something fell onto my shoulders. I quickly looked back and saw Tom adjusting a blanket he had put on me. I was about to thank him as he walked away and attempted to light the fire.

     "See! Its not my fault! All of the lighters are done." Harry defended himself, probably relieved to see Tom was failing too.

     "Hm, I think that was the last one too. Sorry folks, looks like no fire tonight." Tom sighed, still squatting beside the fire pit. Anna had just finished yawning when she spoke up.

     "I'm pretty tired anyways, I might head to bed." She looked over at Haz who smirked lightly.

     "Me too honestly. Thanks for the drink and your effort boys. Let me help you." Haz bent over to lift Anna up and walked with her to the house. I was watching them, amused as they hobbled up the step and to the doors, until I was distracted by a buzzing. Harry picked up his phone and answered, lifting it up to his ear.

     "Hey mate! No that's alright, I can do it now. No, no worries, here, just give me a sec." He stood up and was walking towards the door.

     "Harry! Are you going to bed?" Tom shouted after him. Harry just gave him a shrug and continued into the house disappearing through the hallway. There was silence. Sensing the tension; I spoke.

     "I just hope they don't fuck on my bed." Tom's strong laugh broke out causing me to laugh too.

     "Well you can just steal Haz's bed then," He joked.

     "That would be very weird, I'd rather take the couch," our laughter died down. He looked at me from under his brow but soon adverted his dejected eyes to the house. His speech was sad and slow.

     "Are you tired?"

     "Why? You trying to get rid of me?"

     "Quite the opposite actually."