𝐉𝐉 𝐌𝐚𝐲𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐈𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬

𝘪'𝘮 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘸

♥ ♥ ♥

"Honey.." I heard my mother's voice calling for me. I turned around, hot tears streaming down my face as I ran in their arms.

"They're gone mom. They're gone." I sobbed, having trouble breathing. Suddenly everything went cold and dark. All I could see was my best friends' faces on the boat down at the pier, right before leaving.

"We're gonna be back in no time guys!" JJ had promised, winking at me.

Don't make promises you're not sure you can keep J, I had thought to myself as he was hugging me tightly, but I didn't say. We pulled away and he cupped my face in his hands. For a second I seriously thought, hoped, he'd kiss me but instead he just looked me in the eyes and squeezed my cheeks. I tried to hide my disappointment.

"Please be careful" Kie had said as they were slowly moving away from the dock.

They both winked and then they disappeared.

I held on to that moment with all the strength I had left as my mother was hugging me crying and my dad stroking my hair telling me everything would be fine. How could they even say that? How would everything be just fine? My best friend and the boy I loved since seventh grade were dead. I was broken and nothing would ever fix that.

After a month or so from our fellow Pogues' disappearance, we had the idea to have some kind of memorial for them.

I thought of the moment when JJ almost kissed me before they're departure and then I remembered a conversation I had with Pope. He'd told me that JJ had always had feelings for me but was too much of a chicken to actually confess them to me. He thought it would ruin our friendship. I had laughed at that news because it was the same exact feeling I had, the same reasons why I never tried to do anything with him.. Pope had released a bitter laugh at the time and I had too but we both knew how broken I actually was. I hated the blonde for leaving. I hated him for not kissing me. I hated myself for not trying. I hated everything now that he was gone.

I was in my mom's car, driving to the Chateau. As my vehicle started jumping up and down because of the dirt road something in me changed. I came here everyday for like two weeks after what happened but then I only allowed myself a visit now and then, most of the time with Kie or Pope. I really felt for Sarah because even if we weren't exactly besties we shared the same broken feeling of a lost love. She never came, but tonight she decided it would be better for her so as soon as I saw her with Kie on the porch a bitter smile appeared on my face.

I turned off the car and went out, closing the door as I did.

"Hey girls"

They both got up at the same time and embraced me in a big hug. Later on Pope joined too and we stayed like that for a while before any of us could find the strength to do something.

When we pulled away we all had tears in our eyes even if we tried to hide them.

"Ok so where should we do this thing?" Pope asked, carrying the chairs out from the porch.

We chose a spot, right under the big tree with the hammocks and he put the chairs down for us. I sat down and a wave of memories rushed through my brain as soon as my bottom touched the cold plastic of the chair. That actually gave me an idea.

"Hey, how about we try to share some funny stuff tonight. I don't know about you but I think I cried enough already.. I wanna laugh"

Everyone agreed with me happily, sharing my feelings.

Pope started and he told us about a time when he and JJ were studying for some exam but ended up messing with the Kooks instead; Sarah chose to tell us all the embarrassing but still funny stuff that happened to them during the nasty which made us cry from laughter. Kie was the only one who actually cried for real when she told us about a hot day of summer when she and the boys had gone out on the beach to save baby turtles.. it made all of us a little emotional. Then the stares turned to me and I understood it was my time to speak. I thought for a long time, trying to find the perfect anecdotes for the guys.