Strictly Professional

18: Fresh Start

ELLE
The Reason-Hoobastank

"It's me. It's Niall." My breath hitched, my blood ran cold and my legs suddenly felt unstable. I cursed myself for giving away the proof I was in here. But now it was too late.

"Go away!" I shouted, my voice coming out strangled.

"Elle please! Let me in!" His voice had a pleading tone, but I wasn't just gonna allow him inside my flat after everything that happened.

"No! Leave Niall! You've done enough!" I shouted, pressing my forehead on the wood of the door and breathing heavily.

"Ellie, I'm begging you! I just wanna talk! Please sunshine." He pleaded again and my throat was starting to feel dry again. I squeezed my eyes shut, gripping the doorknob tighter in my shaky hand.

"Are you sober?" I questioned, having second thoughts about my initial decision of not letting him in. It's been over an hour since I last saw him, which meant he had plenty of time to come to his senses and recover from the state he was in. At least I wanted to hope so.

"Yes. I swear to God. I'm not drunk anymore." I must've gone crazy, or maybe I was possessed in some way because my hand started twisting the doorknob on its own. I creaked the door open just barely, poking half my face through the crack to be able to see him. He was dripping in water from the rain, hair messy and damp and shirt stuck to his skin. His lavender pants were a shade darker due to the water and his blazer was missing. He did look like a mess. Not only from his appearance, but from the panicked look on his face.

"Ellie, I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry, I really am! I was so out of line and you have every right to hate me. Just, please. Let me come inside and talk to you for a while. I promise I won't do anything." He was begging me at this point and I honestly didn't know what to think or do. What he could've done to me still frightened me to death, but the way he was looking at me through the small crack of the door, face flustered and eyes irritated did show some level of regret. I couldn't believe he was actually managing to convince me. There was no denying he could've done something horrible tonight. But he stopped. It took him a while, but he did stop. So maybe that's what got me to open the door more.

He let out a heavy sigh before walking past me, his hands going up to his hair and messing it up even more. I stood at the door, arms wrapped around myself as a defense mechanism while I avoided meeting his gaze when he finally turned around.

"I'm so sorry, really. I can't believe what I did to you. This isn't like me, I hope you know that." He took a step towards me and I subconsciously took a step back, hugging myself tighter and flinching away. He gulped, eyebrows raised in concern and I could've sworn he was at the brink of tears, or maybe that's what I was choosing to believe.

"You're scared of me." He muttered, and if we weren't stood in complete silence I doubt I would have been able to hear him.

"I have a reason to be." I responded just as quietly, starting to feel nervous. He brought his hands to his face to rub it, letting out a heavy, drawn out breath.

"I can't- I don't know what to tell you. I got carried away and I hurt you. Please, Ellie, forgive me." He dropped his arms to his sides, complete defeat on his features. He made a motion to step forward again, but stopped himself and moved backwards instead, taking a seat on the armrest of the couch before putting his head in his hands. I quietly gulped, having absolutely no idea on what to say or do. So I didn't do anything more than just taking a step closer. Just one though. With another deep breath, he crossed his arms over his chest and looked back at me.

"I know I'm asking too much of you, but I don't want my stupid actions to come between us. I wish I could take it back." His eyes were starting to water, I could barely catch onto that from the distance and I couldn't really believe it was actually happening. He rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand, making them even more irritated than they already were. The entirety of his face had gone completely red, the way his eyebrows were scrunched making the vein that ran down his forehead pop out more than usual.