Author's Note: Another rule for the statehouse. Gov uses they/them pronouns in this 'chapter'.
----
The states and other personifications referred to the statehouse as the statehouse. Politicians, interns, and other mortals referred to it as the zoo. And not just because of how rowdy the people living in it were. It seemed that every state had a pet, and very rarely did they stick to common animals like cats and dogs.
Florida has a lizard (because he wasn't allowed a gator). New York and Indiana have a few rats. Rhode Island has a bird (that he trained to spy on the other states). Arizona and Arkansas have some snakes. Michigan has a turtle. Louisiana has frogs and a crow. Utah has a bunny. Maryland has hermit crabs.
And one day, Kentucky showed up with baby foxes. Two of them, orphaned, injured, and in need of somebody to care for them. Gov tried to put their foot down on the matter, but Kentucky was also stubborn. So now all the states, District, and Gov were in a meeting to discuss the rule on pets.
"Thank you all for coming." Gov started the meeting. Multiple states snorted at that statement. It wasn't like they had much of a choice in the matter. "I understand that we all love animals. However I believe that there needs to be some limitations on the animals we bring home. For example, foxes are not appropriate pets."
The last part was directed at Kentucky. He held the baby foxes closer to his chest. Somehow he managed to bring them into the meeting without getting caught. "I've raised foxes before. All rescues. I know what I'm doing."
Gov held their head in their hands. "That's not the point of the matter. If you bring in foxes, what's going to stop somebody else from bringing in coyotes or raccoons or moose as a pet."
"A moose could never be kept as a pet. The moose will be in charge and decide your fate." Alaska broke him.
"Not the point Alaska. The point is that we need to set some limits on animals that we allow into the statehouse. I do not want to come home and find five gators lounging about in the living room."
Arguing filled the room. Florida and Louisiana heard the gator comment and ran with it. They were begging to bring gators into the statehouse. The Midwest was very adamant that they not be allowed to bring gators home. A few of the Northeastern states were telling Gov where they could shove their opinions on the matter. Some states brought up a fair point that it came down to a case-by-case situation on whether an animal should be allowed into the statehouse.
"If the majority of us support having an animal in the statehouse, we should be allowed to keep it." California pointed out. "So let's put in a voting system or something. When somebody wants to keep an animal, they bring it up at the next meeting. If two-thirds of us support it, then the animal can stay."
"I hate to agree with safe-space over there," Texas started. California glared at him. "But he's gotta point. You make us vote on other things."
"Fine. New rule, if you want to bring an animal into the statehouse, you must have a two-thirds majority approval. Since there are 51 of us living here, that means you need 34 votes." Gov grabbed a piece of paper and a pencil. "We'll start now. Who here approves of Kentucky keeping the two foxes."
The entirety of the South and Midwest raised their hands. Pennsylvania, Connecticut, New York, Washington, Oregon, California, and District also raised their hands. After double checking the number, Gov sighed. They were outvoted. "The foxes can stay. But you have to take care of them."
Kentucky's face lit up. He thanked the rest of the states and Gov before leaving the meeting. He had his little foxes to take care of after all.
"Does this mean we can get horses and goats and chickens now?" Alabama asked. A few states nodded in agreement.
Gov rubbed their forehead. Maybe this was all just a bad idea. "If you can build a barn and chicken coop, and if you get two-thirds majority approval, then sure."
The two-thirds majority was easy to get, even with Kentucky missing. Mississippi rummaged through his papers and pulled out a few blueprints. How long were they planning on getting these animals?
"As the Harvard of the South -" ("We're not calling you that.") "- I already have a few ideas for such things. I even have a few ideas for a new shed."
"We have a shed. It works fine. We do not need a new shed."
Mississippi pouted at that fact. He wanted to build a new shed.
"Can we keep bees as well?" Utah asked. Washington jumped to attention.
"NO! No, no, no on the bees. I'm allergic!" He looked to Gov for assistance.
"Sorry Utah, medical reasons will always out rule two-thirds majority." Utah nodded in understanding. Even though he knew they would be harmless, he didn't want to risk the safety of one of his fellow states.
Florida raised his hand, but Gov wasn't about to have it. "No gators! I doubt you could even get a two-third majority for that."
Florida pouted in his seat. Several states were shaking their heads. At least Wisconsin, Georgia, and Louisiana were on his side.
YOU ARE READING
Statehouse Rules
FanfictionA collection of one-shots. With 50+ people living in one house, there are bound to be some rules. Here are a few of those rules, and how they came to be.
