No Love

Michelle

2 weeks later

Since me and aug had the big blow out he packed up him Kenzie's and Arians stuff and left. I just don't get why he doesn't understand what I'm going through like I really do want to get up and keep pushing forward but I can't it's like I can't control me. when he was packing up I wanted to get up and fight for him to stay but I just couldn't and him leaving only made me feel worse I have nothing and no one. a couple days ago Erica came She made me get up and leave the house I got pampered then went to my studio the girls brightened my day but when I got back home and all I heard was silence: no aug no Arian no kenzie not even my baby boy reality sunk back in. so here I am again just laying around in bed depressed! Anyways Kenzie's due date was yesterday so you know the babies coming anyway now. I know I gotta get my shit together Cuz in spite of what me and aug going through I can't leave him to take on the responsibility of the kids. after a while I decided to call someone so I could vent initially I thought aug because over the time of our relationship he also become my BestFriend but I'm sure he doesn't want to talk to me the next best thing was my grandme she didn't answer I wanted to call Erica but ever since her husband found out she cheated we ain't had the same relationship she act like its my fault he found out. anyways I decided I'd try Augusts mom Angela.

"Hello?" She says into the phone

"Mrs.angela? It's Uh me Michelle"

"I know it's you honey are you ok?" She ask

"Yea. I just needed somebody to talk to are you busy?"

"Of course not especially when my daughter in law needs me" hearing her say that brought a smile to my face

"I doubt if aug will ever marry me Id be surprised if ever talked to me again" I say starting to feel tears run down my cheeks

"I'm telling you baby my son loves you with everything his has in him he's not even mad at you. he's just hurt to see you this way. he understands your sad about the baby and all but it just hurts him to know you lost yourself in the process of loosing your baby"

"What do you mean I lost myself?" I ask

"Hmm... well when August first mention you to me he would say that he liked that you were independent and how when you went out and wanted something you got it you......."

I continue to listen to her talk. everything she says only makes me smile harder I never knew aug felt so deep about me and I can see how it frustrated him that I just shut down but I honestly didn't know what else do.. but if I Woulda just talked to August instead of pushing him away we wouldn't be in this situation it's not his fault Aj died it's not mine it's no ones.. that's just what was in gods will we weren't ready for that but I shouldn't let the situation break us a part this should be the type of thing to make us stronger... after praying with Angela I felt much better. I decided in this moment I couldn't just shut down I had to get back up and keep pushing not just for August not just for kenzie and Arian and not just for Aj... I had to get up for me. after taking a long shower I decided to get dressed and do my make up something I haven't done in a minute after getting dressed I cleaned my house from top to bottom once I got to the kitchen I realized I hadn't ate in so long so I started to make jambalaya and corn bread one of Augs favorites that he got me hooked... after it was done i made me a big ass bowl and sat at the island... that first bite had me in love!

ms.angela and my grandme better watch out im on the come up, I thought to myself just as I started to really dig in my phone started ring indicating kenzie was calling I immediately answered

"Hello you ok?" I ask

"Mi-Michelle I... I don't know what to do... i think I'm in labor but August isn't here.. I know you don't feel good but can you please come help me?" She cries into the phone I instantly jump up grab some shoes and run out the door totally forgetting kenzie was on the phone

"Michelle are you there?"

"Yes kenzie im on my okay just breath" the whole drive over there all I heard was her screaming and crying that hurt my heart really once I finally reached her I grabbed her emergency bag and we was on our way