The Bookworm

Chapter 8 (edited)

Noah

Have you ever done something wrong because you couldn't help yourself? That's what I was doing, probably digging deeper into my own grave.

It all began when I heard her friend was having a party for her 19th birthday. I had never been a party animal, even though, legally speaking, I was allowed to drink alcohol a year ago when I became twenty-one. My reluctance, though, didn't make me ignorant. I knew what was going on in these so-called parties, it's like steering long and well in a pot all the ingredients for disaster; hormones, alcohol, and curiosity. Inexperience and ignorance were other worrisome ingredients that usually complimented well the first three.

So, there I was, having a beer with my friends that I hadn't seen for several months, pretending everything was alright. I knew my decision to visit had nothing to do with talking about chicks or watching baseball, even though that's exactly what I was doing.

"Well shit, that fucking hurt," Justin said when he picked up another slice of pizza. He had ordered a bunch, but I didn't have much of an appetite.

"I've told you before man, your team is all thumps. They shouldn't allow them to hold any kind of ball, especially a basketball!" Matt rubbed in with obvious satisfaction. They never saw eye to eye with sports, and always ended up bickering at each other.

"Oh, fuck off," He said, effectively aiming and throwing a throw pillow to his face. "Don't you have a girlfriend that supports your team? You should watch it with her!"

Matt took a napkin and wiped his mouth meticulously, obviously put off, what for I had no idea.

"Relax, I was fucking kidding," Justin said when he noticed Matt was beside himself.

He shook his head and took a long swing of beer.

Someone seemed to match my mood. Yeah, I wanted to drink, too...

"We broke up."

"The fuck?" Justin pulled his feet off the glass table and leaned forward. "What for?"

"We just weren't good for one another, you know..." He shrugged.

Yeah, we all fucking knew. That's why we were single.

Throughout the years Justin tried a relationship the human way once, and Matt a couple of times. In the end, all of them had the same ending, all at the end failed. The soul always knows what it seeks even when the mind tries to play tricks on you, or better yet, in this case, you on it. Deep down, you always find out what you truly seek isn't something you can create. It has already been created for you since birth. You can't run away for long, and you can never hide. It catches up with you eventually and usually sooner rather than later.

I raised my beer, and I drank to that. Maybe they hadn't found what they wanted yet, maybe they never would, and that's the reality of being a werewolf, you have to face it if it comes down to it. But none of them had been given the opportunity and royally fucked it up. That was all me.

"What's wrong with you, by the way? You haven't spoken a word since you arrived." Justin observed curiously.

I shrugged. What was I supposed to say to that? That I had screwed up? It was the last thing that I needed.

"We heard you got fired. Are you coping?"

Well, the work was the least of my problems. Does anyone of them know how to properly fucking grovel? Because I can't seem to know how to even breathe right.