i love you too

zoo animal

The moment Simon got out of the bus he felt stares stripping him down. He looked at Sara and she gave him a reassuring smile which helped. He felt not so alone, even if everyone else thought of him as some weirdo. Just like in the beginning of last semester. Simon stared at his feet avoiding eye contact while walking. 'I'm here to study, nothing more.' he kept telling himself. It still felt so embarrassing to think all of them had seen him in the video and on top of that Wille saying he wasn't with him in the video.

When they got to the classroom it got harder for Simon to avoid eye contact with people. He wanted to melt in the ground so no one could look at him anymore. He and Sara sat down on their regular seats with everyones eyes still on him.

What Simon had noticed in his walk through the judging stares of his classmates was that Wilhelm was not there. He was supposed to keep studying in Hillerska, so why was he not there? Sure the crown prince couldn't be late on the first day. Simon felt kind of relieved that Wille wasn't there. Because if he was, Simon would very likely broke down crying. Not a cute little tear, but ugly crying. Even the thought of Wille being there made it hard to not shed a tear so luckily for him the teacher came in and he had something else to think about.

Simon liked the first days of the semester. They were always a little shorter and not as heavy as what came after them. Before this time though it was because he would get home quicker to play videogames and do nothing. This time he just couldn't take all the stares any longer.

His first class had started at 10am so he had just lunch, choir practise, one more class after that and then he was getting back home.

Lunch was the thing he was dreading the most. There he couldn't hide and there was really no distractions, so the moment the bell rang he was considering to just go outside and sit during the whole lunch break. It was just his hunger that kept him from doing that so after most had already left the room he stood up and followed everyone to lunch.

Simon may have been a little overreacting about lunch. Turned out the worst had already happened. He did still feel like a zoo animal, but it had been way worse before. Or maybe he had just gotten more okay with the stares and whispers.

After he had sit down next to Sara who was deep in a conversation with Felice about some boy she had met while visiting Madison in New York during the break, he could hear people coming down the hallway and in a few seconds 2nd year and 3rd year students were flooding the space. He got a few stares from them but that did not matter at all that in moment. He had noticed someone whose face made his blood boil. August. That asshole who had ruined his life. And he was smiling, having fun, being normal. He had absolutely no right to be doing that after what he had done. Simon just wanted to stand up and tell everyone August was a liar, a hypocrite, a fucking wuss who didn't know how to deal with his own problems do he created some for others. But instead he squeezed his fork and looked at his food. Seeing August really took away his whole appetite.