the 1 | hope solo x reader

I can live without you but...

"And this'll be the first time in a week that I'll talk to you and I can't speak. It's been three whole days since I've had sleep 'Cause I dream of her lips on your cheek." Miserable at Best by Mayday Parade.

The bus ride back to the hotel was more lively than you would have liked. Sure, you didn't play a single minute, but that didn't mean you weren't allowed to be tired.

You're sure your teammates have set you up once again when you find yourself sandwiched between the window and the wall that is Hope Solo.

The metaphor here is astounding in more ways than one.

A rock and a hard place.

You're stuck.

Your quick side-eye of Hope reveals she's reading. Or maybe the book is open and she's just flipping pages when enough time seemingly passes. That's what you often did when you were alone with your thoughts.

Either way, you admire her ability to use her brain while moving forward indefinitely without getting car sick. You admire a lot of things about Hope Solo.

You're developing a headache just staring out the window.

Eyes squeezing shut and hands clenched into fists served to be a horrible attempt at staving the pain in your brain away.

What was all of this for?

Why was this happening to you now?

Was it because of Hope? Can you not even control yourself just sitting next to her now? You get some freedom away from your admittedly overbearing girlfriend and suddenly you find Hope so inviting you can't help but slowly lay your head on her shoulder? Exactly like you're doing right now.

When she immediately stiffens, are you so weak to feel something in your chest flake off and shatter? Yes.

When she relaxes, are you so weak to feel your chest heal itself again? Yes.

Hope Solo is intoxicating and you clearly can't help yourself. Everything about her encompasses you. Her scent. Her body. Her thoughts and her dreams. And, boy, you hate to admit it but here...you feel the safest that you've felt in damn near forever.

You're drunk. There's no other way to describe it.

And with that unsettling thought, you fall into a fitful sleep.

~•~

Hope wanted to die.

There was nothing safe about this. Nothing safe for you. And definitely nothing safe for her.

She gave Kelley a pleading look. "Help." She whispered. Kelley only chuckled and shook her head. Hope rolled her eyes.

Somehow, even though you've been sitting in hot as balls France. Your hair still smells like strawberries.

Hope has known she's head over ass in love with you for awhile now. Probably never stopped but that wasn't good. It complicated things. Made them harder than they needed to be. Maybe not for you, but definitely for her. Now was not the time to be selfish.

She never got to tell you what she wanted to. On that day she should have knocked. At least she got to apologize for speaking like that. But you shouldn't have been surprised. You know she thrives off of conflict and confrontation.

Mackenzie sort of asked for it.

Hurt and anger were an odd combination. Especially, when you had no right to be either.

But, God. Hope felt for you with her entire body. You had the uncanny ability to make Hope just feel. She wouldn't know what to do with herself even if she researched it.

Your head is heavy and Hope's shoulder has gone numb. But she'd be an idiot if she shook you off. Who knows, she may never get the chance to touch you again. She wanted to touch you all over.

The bus ride is coming to an end most likely. It's felt like an eternity and a few seconds all in the same.

"Y/N. We're here." She says as softly as her voice will allow. You jerk awake anyway like your parents woke you up late on a test day.

And all Hope can think is 'I wish I could go back in time'.

~•~

"How long are you going to ignore your girlfriend?" Alex asked as you flipped your phone over once again.

"Mmm. I don't know. I was thinking maybe just before the second coming of Jesus? Or the inevitable heat death of the universe. Y'know. Whatever comes second."

"You mean whatever comes first?" Christen suggested lightly.

You looked over at her with a blank expression, "No."

"Ok. Well, if you don't want to forgive her, then why don't you just break up so you're not obligated to eventually talk to her ever again."

"Because that would involve talking to her."

Both Alex and Christen sighed in unison. They say couples start to resemble each other after being together long enough, and boy could you see that right now.

They didn't get it. You didn't want to talk to Mackenzie. Didn't even really have the urge to talk to Mackenzie. What would be the point anyway?

She had a way of sweet talking you into doing the things she had made you think you really wanted to do. And you just didn't want to have to deal with that.

At least with Hope she let you have your own opinion, even if she did immediately tell you she disagreed with it.

No.

Don't think like that.

There is no "at least with Hope". No Hope did this. Hope does that. That was dangerous thinking. Thinking that got her into the situation she was in 5 years ago.

"You're going to have to talk to her eventually, Y/N."

You stayed silent.

"You know her. She'll just end up cornering you if you wait long enough." Alex shrugged her shoulders as she spoke.

Just because that was true didn't mean that you needed to acknowledge it.

You. Did. Not. Want to talk to Mackenzie.

She didn't deserve to talk to you. She called you a slut for Christ's sake. It didn't matter if she was completely justified in her assessment of you. She felt comfortable, she had the audacity, she had the absolute gall to say it outloud.

Which, personally, wasn't fair. You would never say her many a flaw to her face. Or, you wouldn't have before she had said yours to you...

On second thought, maybe it is time you gave Mackenzie Walsh a piece of your mind.