Sugar

Epilogue

epilogue
florence thompson
song: lunar years – maisie peters

"Where are you?" I ask into the phone that is pressed between my shoulder and ear, searching through the sea of people for a familiar face but finding none. "I don't see you, are you sure we're at the same entrance?"

    "There is only one entrance, you– CHICA!" The familiar voice erupts from behind me and I turn around faster than I have in probably my whole life, to find who I've missed the most over the past two months of being away.

    Rico barrels through the crowd of gathering people who are picking up their friends and family from the busy airport. He shouts halfhearted apologies to the few people he knocks into but it doesn't stop his stride and I drop my bags only just in time to feel his arms wrap around me in a hug so tight that he lifts me from the ground a couple inches. One of us squeals, or maybe both of us, I'm not really sure in the heat of the moment.

    After a few moments of us squeezing each other to death, we finally let go as people bustle around us, trying to get to where they're going in a rush. It's almost a comfort to feel anything but rushed in the middle of it all.

    Rico grins at me broadly as if he can't believe I'm real and honestly, after two months of strictly FaceTime and phone calls, I'm having a hard time believing he's really here in front of me too.

    "I've missed you too much, there is so much to catch you up on. Oh my god," he rushes as he picks up my bags from the floor, "I cannot believe you left me here with Aria for so long. Do you know how boring the diner has been at night? They put some new girl on your closing shift with Ben and I when you left. I swear if I have to hear her talk about the meaning of life one more time I'm walking." Rico keeps talking as he moves through the swarms of people towards his parked car. I do my best to listen but I'm so overwhelmed with my excitement that I can hardly focus on anything.

    "How is Ben?" I ask as Rico tucks my suitcase and bag into the trunk of his car before sliding into the driver's seat. He eyes me for a moment as I buckle only to shake himself out of it and buckle himself in as well.

    Aria and Rico kept up with me the most while I was gone but things have been a little weird between Ben and I since I left. He didn't really know I was gone until a couple days after I was already in New York and understandably, he was a bit hurt. Even more so when he offered to fly out and I declined. After a heated discussion, he'd leave my texts unread and I can't say it didn't hurt. I understood why he was upset with me and he needed time and space which he got but it definitely changed the dynamic of our friendship. I know Ben had feelings for me, and just like everything else in my life, the timing ended up being wonky. We missed each other by only a small fraction of time. I can't say I don't have feelings for him anymore, it's just hard.

    Honestly, just coming from a fling of unrequited love, I did not and still don't ever want to put someone like Ben, who I care about so deeply, in a position to feel that way. Even if I like him, I wasn't anywhere close to being emotionally available. It was one of the most painful things to walk away from Vincent. Healing was better for me in the long run but so achingly painful. I can't say the first month of staying with my mom in New York didn't consist of watching New Girl and hardly moving from bed.

    "He's..." Rico hesitates as he puts the car into drive and begins pulling out of his parking spot. "He's good. He quit the diner, actually."

    "...But you just said Ben was still on closing shift?"

    "Yeah, he was for about two weeks after you left. Then he got an offer from his friend's dad to volunteer sailing on his boat. I haven't heard from him in a couple weeks, actually," his voice drifts as he thinks of Ben and I watch as we pull out onto the busy road and head for the diner I missed so much. It feels like I haven't seen it in forever.