Angel and the Civil War

TWO

Nancy tried to put them to bed hours ago, normally I would but not now. Not after what happened. Tonight I will wait for their return.

Wanda must be devastated. But its not her fault. I saw what was going to happen but it took me too long to put the pieces together. I should have recognized Brock Rumlow. I was there for the briefing. I should have paid more attention then, I should have recognized him sooner. I could have saved so many lives.

I hug my legs to my chest as I sit quietly on my bed. I can't let these thoughts get away from me. Nancy is always telling me I can't look to the past at my mistakes. I know she is talking about Hydra but I feel like the same applies here.

I can not, I will not let these thoughts overwhelm me. Not again. When I first got here, it was quite the adjustment. I blamed myself for Sokovia. I blamed myself for all the death and destruction. Nancy helped. She helped me understand how I was manipulated, how I made the right choice when the time came.

Eventually I let it all go. I stopped letting myself go down that deep, dark hole in my mind. I placed all the guilt I had into small box in the corner of my mind, which I proceeded to lock away. Occasionally I still feel guilty but I refuse to let it consume me like it once did. I feel I might have to do the same with the tragedy from this mission.

Its late into tthe night when everyone returns. I meet them at the hanger doors. I reach out to hug Wanda but she rushes by me, tears streaming down her face. Vision rushes by her, giving me a small nod of hello.

"Don't take it personal," Sam says quietly, putting an arm on my shoulder. I look up at him sadly. "She's shutting everyone out." I nod slowly as Sam continues into the building. Natasha is talking on the phone, most likely doing damage control. She gives me a small smile as she passes. Steve is also on the phone but he stops in front of me.

"I understand, Ambassador," he pauses, "It was a mistake, it caused casualties but it also saved many more. No, Ambassador, I won't be doing that." Steve sighs. "I have to go now, Ambassador. I already informed you I will not do that. She will stay where she is, Ambassador. Excuse me, but I have important matters to now take care of," Steve snaps. "No, I'm not saying this isn't important! I have OTHER important matters at the moment! Good bye, Ambassador." Steve lets out an exasperated sigh as he pulls the phone from his ear.

"Is- will everything be ok?" I ask him. He pulls me into him for a hug.

"Nat and I are working on damage control," he answers without actually giving an answer.

"That's not what I asked."

"I know." A comfortable silence surrounds us as he continues to hug me. "You should be asleep, kiwi." The nickname makes me smile.

Shortly after I had arrived at the Compound, Steve made it his mission to introduce me to the world. He brought me all sorts of foods and introduced me to TV shows, I had no idea it was possible to watch different episodes of the same show. It amazed me just as the food did. The first meal Steve brought me was pizza and fruit. The fruit was a variety of bananas, strawberries, apples, and kiwis. I absolutely loved the kiwi, so much so that I asked Steve to bring me more. The next meal we had was tacos and kiwi, then waffles and kiwi. Kiwi became essential to every meal I had for my first month at the Compound.

"I saw what was going to happen... before it happened... I-I felt it too, before you left," I whisper.

"I know," he says softly. His hold on me tightens. A tear slips down my cheek. "It's not your fault, Angel."

"I know." His hold starts to loosen.

"You should be asleep, go to sleep," Steve whispers. I nod. Steve lets me go before grabbing my hand and taking me back to my room. He opens the door to my pink and green palace. "We'll talk in the morning. Good night, kiwi."

"Good night, Stars," I close the door behind me, sinking to the floor quietly. A few tears fall from my eyes. The door behind me begins to open, it is momentarily stalled by my wait before I am pushed forward by its opening. I don't bother looking up to see who it is. I already know. Steve sits down next to me and pulls me into his body, while stoking my back to calm me. He brushes silver streaks away from my face.

"It's ok, Angel. Nothing is your fault, nothing." I don't know how long we stayed like that. It was quite awhile, I know that for sure. Eventually, when my tears have stopped coming, Steve picks me up and gently sets me onto my bed. He turns to leave but I grab his arm.

"Stay," I whisper. He simply lies down next to me. Soon, sleep finds me.