a darker kind of goodbye

bad habits

Annas POV:

we arrived at the ice skating rink

the whole car ride here eva was being so cocky about how she is so good at ice skating so im pretty excited to see how it goes

"dont get your hopes up on winning" i said as eva walked in

we got our shoes sized

we walked in and both fell imediatetly

"so much for seeing whos better" i said

"i just need to warm up a little" she said

"mhm sure" i said

i kept trying again and again till i finally got the hang of it

"you wanna race?" she asked

"yea bet" i said

we raced and i won

"all that talk in the car about how u was so good but somehow im the one winning"i said

"oh shut up" she said

we skated for like and half hour longer

-

we got lunch on the way back to the hotel

after eating i went out for a little to hang out with the guys while eva went to be with karina

Evas POV:

i didnt wanna lie but i had no choice

she asked me if i was gonna be with karina and i obviously said yes or then she would have stayed here

i need to get that food out of my system

i went infront of the toilet and shove my fingers down my throat til i threw up everything

its bad but i dont enjoy eating like that anymore it doesnt feel right

i shouldnt do this stuff to myself

but sometimes i like the pain

it makes me feel not so numb

i just dont wanna hurt anna

she cant know that i do this but i also feel terrible lying to her

im ashamed i guess u could say

i gotta talk to ian

hes the only one that i can talk to right now

i call him

e: hey
i: whats up eva
e: are u busy
i: i was gonna go out but its fine why is everything okay?
e: ian... i need your help
i: hey its okay ill be right there just wait for me
e: okay

shit

why am i crying

i do this shit to myself

i need my knife

i watch the blood pour out of my wrists

staining my clothes

i took a bottle of pills and put some in my mouth

"eva you in there?" ian said knocking on the door

"ian just come in"

he walks in

"im fine ian"

"eva no your not"

"im fine really i am"

he drags me to the bathroom

"SHIT" i say as he wipes the blood off my wrists

"please dont tell her"

"what"

"dont tell anna"

"i wont but if this ever happens again im not gonna have another choice"

he puts bandaids on me

"im okay ian i just needed someone to talk to"

"i get that, promise me you wont scare me again like that"

"i promise im sorry"

ian helped me clean up everything and now we are watching anime together

"thank you for everything ian"

"its my job to look out for my best friend"

"my mind just took over idk what happend"

"its okay you got alot going on right now thats not easy so i understand"

"i couldnt ask for a better best friend" i said

"me neither" he said as he hugged me

"im gonna go now eva but just remember that u can call me whenever u need anything"

"yea bye ian"

im gonna just try and forget that ever happend

i should hang out with karina now

i put a hoodie on covering my wrists and walked to karinas door

"karina" i sorta yelled from outside

"come in"

i slowly opened the door

"hey eva" she said

"hi are u busy?" i asked

"no why?" she said

"can i hang here with you for a bit?"

"yea of course wheres anna?"

"she went to hang out with the guys"

"you wanna watch something"

"anime?"

"okay fine but next time i get to pick"
--

we watched anime for like an hour

"so how is everything with you and anna?"

"its pretty amazing she treats me so well i truly dont deserve her at all" i said thinking about everything i have put her through

i made her hurt so much for me

she deserves someone better

i put so much unnessiceray stress on her

why am i like this

-

Annas POV:

i went to this skate shop with the guys

"so anna.." chris asked

"yea whats up"

"hows everything with eva"

"i love that girl with my whole heart bro. shes different she makes me so happy and even though we have our problems we always solve them"

"damn theres no way out now, shumate ur her bitch now"

i really do love her so much

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