a darker kind of goodbye

its hurts my heart

Annas POV:
we ate some mcdonalds

i had this bad feeling in my chest

i decided to leave early and go back to the hotel by myself

i walked into my room but eva wasnt there so i assume she is with karina

i waited a couple hours before calling eva

i called her but no answer

i started to get a little worried

i called karina

a: hey karina
k: yea whats up
a: is eva with you
k: yea we are both here you can come if u want
a: okay sure ill be there in like 10 mins

i went up to karinas room

"hey" i said to eva and karina

"hi" karina said

eva stayed silent

did i do something

i mean everything was going really well this morning i dont know why she would be mad at me

i layed next to her while karina went to the bathroom

"eva"

"yea whats up" she said not facing me

i put my finger on her chin and made her face me

"are you mad at me?" i asked

"no im not " she said

"is everything okay?" i asked

"yea im fine" she said

"okay" i said

we watched a movie with karina

Evas POV:

it hurts my heart that i cant be honest with anna

i love her too much to tell her

she would hate me.

after the movie me and anna went to our room

i tried avoiding her as much as possible but

"eva please tell me whats wrong"

"i said nothings wrong"

"you can tell me anything i promise ill always be here for you, i love you"

"ANNA JUST LEAVE ME ALONE PLEASE"

"okay im sorry"

fuck now she thinks im mad at her

what the hell am i supposed to do know

-
(next day)

i woke up and saw anna sleeping on the couch

i didnt say she couldnt sleep with me

i have to tell her its killing me inside

i go to chris's room

*knock knock

no answer

*knock knock

c: what do u want
e: hey chris its eva can u let me in

he opens the door looking tired as fuck

"is everything okay?" he asked

"u have weed right" i said walking in

"yea why?" he said

"i could really use some right now" i said sitting on his bed

"you sure eva ?" he asked

"yes chris just please give me some" i said urgently

he smoked with me

"why did u wanna get high so bad eva?"chris asked

" i just needed to get my mind off things" i said

"what did u do?" he asked

"no nothing why do u think i did something?"i said kinda sounding defensive

"its obvious ur trying to hide it, u can tell me eva"he said honestly

"okay but please dont tell anna" i said

" i wont" he said

"i relapsed"

"oh god eva" he said in a worried voice

"im okay" i said

"i used to deal with a lot of things like that but i think the best thing to do is just tell anna"

"i cant " i said

"its better than lying to her face " he said

"how do i tell her" i asked

"eva u got this the only way to heal is by coming clean with what u did" he said

"okay, thank you chris" i said

he gave me a really tight hug

"before u go maybe u should wait till u sober up a little bit" he said

"ur right" i said

i waited like 2 hours before i went back

i walked back to our room

i opened the door and didnt see anna in there

i checked my phone and she hadnt called or texted me either

maybe she still thinks im mad at her

fuck why do i always do stupid shit

i called her

a: hey...eva
e: hey
a: im on my way back to our room right now is everything okay?
e: yea i just need to talk to u

i started stressing out waiting for anna to walk through the door

Annas POV:
i went back to me and evas room but when i walked in i saw her on the floor like she was about to cry

i dropped my bag and went to her

"hey its okay" i said in a soft voice

"im sorry anna" she said on the verge of tears

"everything is okay you dont need to apologize"

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