Better Intentions

Ch.9 Jerome

I sat there staring at the ground thinking about what lead up to today. A lot of stuff was a blur but all I could remember is Kaliyah and how hurt she was. "I'm sorry , I just don't want to go home and usually I'd go with Kendrick but you heard what he said ... my sister though ?" I remember her saying this with tears in her eyes. I felt her pain like never before because I was in her shoes at some point. I wasn't always so cold towards females . It took that one girl ... that one girl to turn me rotten. "It's okay ma , you can stay here with me tonight. Ain't nobody gone know , you know ian gotta big mouth or nothing . Me and Kendrick used to be tight so I'm not even gonna do him like that I'll sleep on the floor." Thinking about me saying that brought all of the pieces together.. about what happened between us last night. I remember putting everyone out around 3. I walked Kaliyah up to my room and gave her my bed and laid on the floor. I laid on the floor nearly about to pass out when I heard her crying. I couldn't just lay there and listen to a girl cry , especially if I knew the reason behind it . I got up and sat next to her asking "ma are you okay ?" I felt this feeling that I've never felt before towards her . I don't know if it was because I was high or what .. but I actually cared. "Honestly no , I've been with Kendrick for a while now . Ive never cheated never thought about it or anything... It hurt so bad to hear him talking about me like that ... and for him to tell everyone he fucked my sister ? How could I be okay after something like that?" She started to look at me. "I'm sorry Kaliyah , foreal . I know how Kendrick is and not to be a opp ass nigga or anything but I know it isnt his first time. The shit that nigga used to tell me about his past I wouldn't put it past him. To be honest he's always been fucking with hoes who came and went , I've never seen him with someone with a backbone ...I thought maybe if he got his hands on a genuine female he'd act right but I was wrong." I wiped her tears for her and held her head up. "He aint worth your tears ma." She looked at me with her eyes full of tears and kissed me. I started to kiss her back pulling her on my lap. We started to get undressed but I remember asking her if she was sure . I knew she was hurting and just wanted to feel something. When I told Kendrick she was a freak I was doing it to get under his skin ... but god knows I wasn't lying . She said yes without even opening her mouth. Before I knew it we were fucking. I raked my brain trying to remember rather we used protection... and what actually happened but I couldn't think.  I was too fucked up .
"Man this shit really all my fault" I mumbled under my breath.
"Boy fuck up" Jessica said pushing me a little.
"I'm sorry bro , but I'm just thinking ... if ian sleep with her none of this would've happened. " I said.
"Well maybe if Kendrick didn't fuck her sister she wouldn't have slept with YOU" she said looking at me.
"You're right but-" I started to say.
"No there is no but Rome , you didn't do shit wrong but comfort that girl and it ain't like you to do something like that especially after Alex. I'm actually proud of you when it comes to a girl , and mom would be too." She said to me making sure I looked back at her.
"Thank you Jess.. ian think of it like that." I said holding my head down getting in my feelings.
"Don't thank me that's what I'm here for ." She said laying her head on my shoulder. I looked over at Mya balled up in the chair sleeping and thought to myself "he's gonna be fine ... he gotta be."