Eris Vanserra Fanfiction-A Land Of Lavender And Thistle-Book One

CHAPTER XIV

Ruth

The afternoon sunlight poured down at us as Jamila, Icelyn and I sat outside Icelyn's cabin. Brux lay sprawled beside me while I perched myself in the chair on the porch, a cup of hibiscus tea warm in my palm. On the round table at my side, with her legs bent beneath her, Jamila sat on a small set of furniture designed for her size, even a tiny cup lay in her lap. Both of us watched Icelyn who sat in the low grass, her hunched back touching the white belly of the bear.

Ever since her sister stepped on those frozen flowers, the gasp Icelyn released had been the only sound I'd heard from her. I had guided her up the snowy hill where we waited wordlessly for Jamila to return and winnow us back to the cornfield at which we met. 

Our walk back to the cabin was awkward and speechless. Even with Jamila having the ability to communicate through mind, I had the feeling she remained silent, too. She joined us here at the cabin and she and I quietly sat outside while Icelyn made tea.

No one had requested it, and when either of us offered to help, Icelyn acted as if we weren't even there. In the end, the pixie told me it would be best to give Icelyn some time before we found our spots on the porch. Eventually, Icelyn came, brought the tea and settled herself on the ground. Not a minute after, Boreas took a spot behind her, being a comfort of his own kind.

I sipped some of my tea when her toneless voice reached me: "I shouldn't have gone there. It was my fault."

"What are you talking about?" I said. "You did nothing wrong."

Icelyn shook her head wearily. "I'm sorry for the flowers. I saw how happy you were to collect them and arrange them for me." For the first time in the last two hours, she looked me in the eye. "I'm really sorry, Ruth."

My jaw clenched. "Fuck the flowers," I snapped. "Your sister is a bitch." Jamila sent me a warning look to which I replied with a shrug. "Sorry, but she is. She didn't even have the audacity to talk to you. She rejected you like the worst scum, Icelyn. You didn't deserve that."

There was nothing joyful in the laugh which rumbled from her as she brought her knees to her chest. "Oh, but I do."

"No, you do not!"

Her face was a portrait of neutrality, and the expression in her eye was emotionless – dead. "You don't understand."

"What is there to understand?" I slammed the cup on the table and Brux jumped while Boreas' eyes widened with fear. "Don't blame yourself for the shitty behaviour of others. No matter who they are–"

"I killed my brother."

I paused. "What?" The word was airy on my tongue.

Her breath shuddered before she rested her chin on her knees, her gaze on her feet. "Fifty-one years ago, Hybern soldiers came under the order of Amarantha to kill the younglings of the Winter Court for the counterattack of High Lord Kallias. I was thirty-two at the time and was considered part of the group. My brother – one of them, at least – came to get me that day. We didn't manage to get out of the palace in time so we hid."

Her voice was steady, but a storm of emotions whirled on her face, her healthy eye glassy. "He told me to go into the cabinet against the wall while he stood guard in case someone came. I obeyed, and when Hybern soldiers burst in I–" She took a few breaths before continuing. "I just sat there and watched through the slits in the wood as they killed him. I did nothing. I just sat there. I didn't even scream. Even when they were gone, I couldn't bring myself to get out. I stayed there until my brother and sister came." Her voice became hateful and hard, but all I could do was gape at her. "I did absolutely nothing."