Dream ≠ h.h.j

11

> Ha-Jun's POV

I could feel a heavy load being lifted from my chest. Everything felt more comfortable and free, and I could actually think. It no longer suffered my thoughts into a perpetual state of mist and confusion but instead air and room to breathe. I sighed out in relief. Though, that was not in the slightest appropriate when there was an unconscious girl in front of me.

Oh yea, Kim Hanna fainted. 

I looked at the worried faces around her, trying to check her breathing while someone called a nurse. Blood was starting to trickle down her nose and a male student looked terrified at the sight of this. I exhaled and walked to the window.

 This was the peace I sought for. Difficult to obtain yet irritatingly rewarding for myself. My serenity can only exist without the existence of Kim Hanna, and maybe I was enjoying this a little too much.

Nothing really matters after this point. 

This was the perfect chance to probe an answer from him. I can fight if I have to, but I have to get out from this hell hole. 

A great flush of passing memory suddenly surged through me, and for the first time, I allowed it to consume and reside in my mind. The danger of losing puzzle pieces of random moments was gone for the time being, and perhaps that's why I had to act fast. I couldn't get any other opportunity like this. 

"Ha-Jun, let's carry her to the sick bed." Roy kneeled down and carried Hanna's shoulder, propping her on his lap and looked at me worriedly. "Hurry!" 

I paused and smiled innocently. "No." 

He looked distraught at my reaction and considered what I had actually meant before gasping even louder. "W-what do you mean!" 

I realized he wouldn't take no for an answer but I simply could not help the person that destroyed my life. Destroying. It still had hope. 

I scanned around the room for any sharp objects, to the point where it could knock me unconscious. I quickly spotted a pencil holder with a pen knife safely placed in it. 

Bingo.

I took long strides to the table but Roy stopped me before I could reach. 

"What are you doing?" he demanded with a furious tone. "You've never been like this Ha-Jun, stop with this ridiculous act and let's go." 

I drew a patient breathe, deciding if I should really kill him.

Joking.

Not really.

I prepared myself for the next few moments, clutching on the scissors so tight my knuckles had turned white. I held it up in the air, few meters away from my hand with my palms facing up. Aim for the blood vessel. 

"Let me show you." 

... 

Something felt heavy. I realized a little later that it was my arm, still oozing blood from the cut at the wrist. It didn't hurt. Then again, pain was not possible in this realm. 

I knew before I even opened my eyes that I was at the right place. Anyone would. With the blinding whiteness and purity emanating from every aspect-even down to every last atom- this place was virtually infinite. There was no start or finish, no length and width and certainly no height to determine where the sky was. It was merely a blank canvas, with a surreal atmosphere that rendered you to be calm, to be so blissful that you would think to yourself that heaven really does exist.

This was called the Garden of Souls. I scoffed at the label when I was first told of it, but now I understand the deep definition rooted in this place. 

"You scarred him." a voice suddenly sighed next to me. 

Like he had performed apparition, he appeared out of thin air, with navy blue smoke intensifying his presence in this place. 

A calm and solemn face greeted me, and I knew that even if I saw him a million times, I would still be shocked and frightened by him. It was the similarity between us, where one would  indefinitely mistake us as twins. But it was more than that- we were identical. 

Down to the shape of our nose and lips, the curve of our eyebrows- oh, don't even get me started on the jawline. Our hair were different however, his were dark blue and mine were black. Though, the colour couldn't be anymore similar. 

"Huh, who?" I narrowed my eyes at him, analyzing him. It was weird, like I was talking to myself. 

"Your boy Roy." he looked like I had asked him what was '2+2'. 

"Right.." I trailed off, my thoughts escaping elsewhere. 

I tried to be rational when I first met him. Was he my long lost brother? Do i have to call him onii-chan or anything of that sort? Surely not! Until this day, his existence remains a mystery. He refused to reveal anything other than 'I am you, but different' (no shit, Sherlock) and ushered me to keep my mouth shut. I unwillingly agreed. 

"Now, what is the purpose of your visit?" he spoke in a calm yet authoritative manner, his gaze distant.

"Bring me back to where I belong." I stated with reason. "To where I rightfully belong." 

He nodded as if he had guessed correctly to what I would ask him. Then, he slowly paced around in circles and looked at me with a heavy heart. 

"I can't. It's impossible now." 

"What?" 

This came as a shock for me particularly because he had always weighed his answer with further solutions and logic instead of giving me a dead end. A route where there was no entrance, no paths. 

"Explain." I demanded. 

He gave a long stare. "Simply being, there is no place for you at your universe. It's occupied." 

I tilted my head puzzlingly  and he continued on. 

"I thought you had the right to know that.. you have been replaced. Many people have, and frankly, it's not the same place it used to be. There is no more place for you, because- as humans would understand it better- there is another 'Ha-Jun' at your place. Another replication of the human cell, just like how we are."    

I felt miniscule under this blinding white place, and listening to his response had made me feel displaced. Displaced at my very own universe, my very own house and identity. A blaring red question daunted me in that instant: What was I under the might of the forces of fate and nature? 

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