Poetry - A Sound Of Silent Verses

A Confession for "God"

Pearls of emotion, under the sky-
Can't you hear me asking you why?
I can feel the sting in my eye;
Raindrops are falling onto the night.

But what would he know,
What would he say,
If he was here,
If he did stay.

Falling and reaching, crawling and creeping,
All of the way, I have been howling.

So tell me why can't you see me now?
Or show me the way to reach you, how?

I have been mourning,
And Waddling and Sobbing,
All of my life,
Just to see you alive.

Feel your touch on my skin,
Your smile on my lips,
And hazy eyes deep as the abyss.

So tell me now- what I did
To be thrown away,
Cast like a diamond in the stray.
And when I look at your temples they say,
"He's a God. You're not".

(Why am I not...)

But I can't help but remember,
All of the days we spent together;
Before the darkness took me from you,
Before all I felt was empty gloom.

And though I see you in my dreams,
It's not enough till I feel your heat -
Searing my nerves, burning my body,
Embers for veins, and pain so tardy,
Just to rush to you, only to reach you.

And when I come back,
Will you still be there?
Or will you evade,
Like a shadow again.

And when I come back, once again,
Will you still be there?
Or was all of this,
An empty dream,
Dead as my heart,
On the eternal stream.

**************

Cultural context: In India, there have been many women who crowned themselves brides of gods and fell in love with them. In mythology, (Goddess) Parvati is portrayed to have been born as an human who fell in love with Lord Shiva. While it is true that she is the reincarnation of (Goddess) Sati, Lord Shiva's first wife and an avatar of 'Shakthi' ( personification of female power in Indian mythology), it is also true that she had to pursue her love in form of penance purely as human.

Radha too is widely celebrated for her love towards the deity Krishna so much so that she is the only one mentioned alongside him in most temples besides his brother.

A more contemporary example is Mira Bai, a famous saint from the 16th century. To date her poems in praise of Lord Krishna are taught in schools.

This bride of God culture is not to be equated to the devdasi and saintess cultures which are in truth oppressive cultures that were often put in place to serve the physical needs of upper class priests.

The idea of falling in love with gods and forsaking human love has in general been widely popular. The core philosophy behind these being that since desires can't be completely eliminated, it's best to direct them towards God. And bhakti yoga, or Devotion yoga is a path that highlights the same.

This poem does not mean to hurt any sentiments and is written from the point of view of a spiritual aspirant yearning for her 'God'. This yearning is more in an abstract spiritual sense than raw physical desire. This was also mildly inspired by a character I'm planning to write.

A lore piece about the said character (Frozen in time) can be found in my short story collection.

Of course, you as the reader are free to exercise your own interpretation but I feel the cultural context behind my motivation to write this may make this poem a lot more interesting.

(24th August, 2021)